Tru..getYourAss..inHere!
Quote from: Naru (っ◕‿◕)っ on January 06, 2015, 03:52:02 AMTru..getYourAss..inHere!sry all you have is me
Quote from: Septy on January 06, 2015, 03:52:34 AMQuote from: Naru (っ◕‿◕)っ on January 06, 2015, 03:52:02 AMTru..getYourAss..inHere!sry all you have is meUm, gay
I'd love to have a read, but I can't devote too much time to reading right now.In class >.>
Put that mirror down
Quote from: Septy on January 06, 2015, 03:55:07 AMPut that mirror downSo is this like that rubber glue thing
Quote from: Baha on January 06, 2015, 03:56:36 AMQuote from: Septy on January 06, 2015, 03:55:07 AMPut that mirror downSo is this like that rubber glue thingI know you are but what am I
Quote from: Byrne on January 06, 2015, 03:54:39 AMI'd love to have a read, but I can't devote too much time to reading right now.In class >.>In class and posting like a champ. Where the hell are my Estus flasks?
Quote from: Epsira on January 06, 2015, 03:56:36 AMQuote from: Byrne on January 06, 2015, 03:54:39 AMI'd love to have a read, but I can't devote too much time to reading right now.In class >.>In class and posting like a champ. Where the hell are my Estus flasks?You need to light a bonfire on your desk.
Since when is Tru the resident poet? I'm the resident poet.That being said, I'm not the sort to critique others poems easily. This is what it is. It reads like any aspiring poetry. Not the best, not the worst. What is it for?
Thereafter, silencedripped between skittering footsteps
QuoteThereafter, silencedripped between skittering footstepsA little basic?
Quote from: True Turquoise on January 06, 2015, 04:15:36 AMQuoteThereafter, silencedripped between skittering footstepsA little basic?What does this mean?This was for someone else. Now it's for me.
Since when is Tru the resident poet? I'm the resident poet.
Quote from: Epsira on January 06, 2015, 04:19:50 AMQuote from: True Turquoise on January 06, 2015, 04:15:36 AMQuoteThereafter, silencedripped between skittering footstepsA little basic?What does this mean?This was for someone else. Now it's for me. dripped drips ...I don't know. Now it's for you, you're the only one that can change it.
Quote from: Kitsunebi on January 06, 2015, 04:11:04 AMSince when is Tru the resident poet? I'm the resident poet.That being said, I'm not the sort to critique others poems easily. This is what it is. It reads like any aspiring poetry. Not the best, not the worst. What is it for?It was for someone else. Now it's for me. Do you know what I'm getting at in this short section? Do you see how I'm trying to do it? Anyone who posts poetry here and frequents this place could qualify as a "resident poet," don't you think?
Quote from: Kitsunebi on January 06, 2015, 04:11:04 AMSince when is Tru the resident poet? I'm the resident poet.I'm not. Where'd you get that feeling?
Quote from: True Turquoise on January 06, 2015, 04:23:19 AMQuote from: Epsira on January 06, 2015, 04:19:50 AMQuote from: True Turquoise on January 06, 2015, 04:15:36 AMQuoteThereafter, silencedripped between skittering footstepsA little basic?What does this mean?This was for someone else. Now it's for me. dripped drips ...I don't know. Now it's for you, you're the only one that can change it.Considering this is happening in past tense it wouldn't make as much sense grammatically and it wouldn't serve to enhance the meaning. Is this suggestion on the basis of it sounding prettier?
Quote from: Epsira on January 06, 2015, 04:15:01 AMQuote from: Kitsunebi on January 06, 2015, 04:11:04 AMSince when is Tru the resident poet? I'm the resident poet.That being said, I'm not the sort to critique others poems easily. This is what it is. It reads like any aspiring poetry. Not the best, not the worst. What is it for?It was for someone else. Now it's for me. Do you know what I'm getting at in this short section? Do you see how I'm trying to do it? Anyone who posts poetry here and frequents this place could qualify as a "resident poet," don't you think?Well, sure, I guess... except that I'm a published poet.I must admit that I don't understand exactly what the theme of it is yet. It lacks a clear narrative. I'll say that much.
Quote from: Kitsunebi on January 06, 2015, 04:32:34 AMQuote from: Epsira on January 06, 2015, 04:15:01 AMQuote from: Kitsunebi on January 06, 2015, 04:11:04 AMSince when is Tru the resident poet? I'm the resident poet.That being said, I'm not the sort to critique others poems easily. This is what it is. It reads like any aspiring poetry. Not the best, not the worst. What is it for?It was for someone else. Now it's for me. Do you know what I'm getting at in this short section? Do you see how I'm trying to do it? Anyone who posts poetry here and frequents this place could qualify as a "resident poet," don't you think?Well, sure, I guess... except that I'm a published poet.I must admit that I don't understand exactly what the theme of it is yet. It lacks a clear narrative. I'll say that much.Probably because it's part of it (as I stated in the OP).
Quote from: True Turquoise on January 06, 2015, 04:24:18 AMQuote from: Kitsunebi on January 06, 2015, 04:11:04 AMSince when is Tru the resident poet? I'm the resident poet.I'm not. Where'd you get that feeling?I dunno.
Quote from: Kitsunebi on January 06, 2015, 04:32:53 AMQuote from: True Turquoise on January 06, 2015, 04:24:18 AMQuote from: Kitsunebi on January 06, 2015, 04:11:04 AMSince when is Tru the resident poet? I'm the resident poet.I'm not. Where'd you get that feeling?I dunno.
Quote from: Epsira on January 06, 2015, 04:27:41 AMQuote from: True Turquoise on January 06, 2015, 04:23:19 AMQuote from: Epsira on January 06, 2015, 04:19:50 AMQuote from: True Turquoise on January 06, 2015, 04:15:36 AMQuoteThereafter, silencedripped between skittering footstepsA little basic?What does this mean?This was for someone else. Now it's for me. dripped drips ...I don't know. Now it's for you, you're the only one that can change it.Considering this is happening in past tense it wouldn't make as much sense grammatically and it wouldn't serve to enhance the meaning. Is this suggestion on the basis of it sounding prettier?yes, I was going by sound.
Quote from: True Turquoise on January 06, 2015, 04:35:36 AMQuote from: Epsira on January 06, 2015, 04:27:41 AMQuote from: True Turquoise on January 06, 2015, 04:23:19 AMQuote from: Epsira on January 06, 2015, 04:19:50 AMQuote from: True Turquoise on January 06, 2015, 04:15:36 AMQuoteThereafter, silencedripped between skittering footstepsA little basic?What does this mean?This was for someone else. Now it's for me. dripped drips ...I don't know. Now it's for you, you're the only one that can change it.Considering this is happening in past tense it wouldn't make as much sense grammatically and it wouldn't serve to enhance the meaning. Is this suggestion on the basis of it sounding prettier?yes, I was going by sound.Oh, alright. I'm trying to set a creepy, unsettling tone in the section we're talking about. What would you suggest for wording?
What do you make of this?
