There were some warning sign a few months ago...I'm so sorry Charlie
I hate to say this, but I kind of saw this coming two years ago when you first started reporting that your wife was having a hard time accepting responsibility for your newborn adopted child.I feel for you man, I can't really imagine how you must be feeling at the moment.
Quote from: Septy on September 29, 2014, 03:42:17 AMThere were some warning sign a few months ago...I'm so sorry CharlieI know. I've suspected something going on. In a sick way... It's a relief to just have it out.
Quote from: MyNameIsCharlie on September 29, 2014, 03:43:28 AMQuote from: Septy on September 29, 2014, 03:42:17 AMThere were some warning sign a few months ago...I'm so sorry CharlieI know. I've suspected something going on. In a sick way... It's a relief to just have it out.Why would she want to adopt another child if she doesn't want to be with you?
Quote from: Septy on September 29, 2014, 03:45:23 AMQuote from: MyNameIsCharlie on September 29, 2014, 03:43:28 AMQuote from: Septy on September 29, 2014, 03:42:17 AMThere were some warning sign a few months ago...I'm so sorry CharlieI know. I've suspected something going on. In a sick way... It's a relief to just have it out.Why would she want to adopt another child if she doesn't want to be with you?I don't know. I really don't.
Quote from: Lord Commissar on September 29, 2014, 03:42:59 AMI hate to say this, but I kind of saw this coming two years ago when you first started reporting that your wife was having a hard time accepting responsibility for your newborn adopted child.I feel for you man, I can't really imagine how you must be feeling at the moment.And now I have to go and pick up the second child. That's the worst part of it. Tonight was supposed to be a happy night. This was supposed to be good news.
I knew it. That sucks man. You shouldn't adopt another kid. I won't tell you to divorce or stay, that's up to you. But you shouldn't force another kid to have to deal with this.
Quote from: MyNameIsCharlie on September 29, 2014, 03:44:31 AMQuote from: Lord Commissar on September 29, 2014, 03:42:59 AMI hate to say this, but I kind of saw this coming two years ago when you first started reporting that your wife was having a hard time accepting responsibility for your newborn adopted child.I feel for you man, I can't really imagine how you must be feeling at the moment.And now I have to go and pick up the second child. That's the worst part of it. Tonight was supposed to be a happy night. This was supposed to be good news.Life has a way of biting you in the ass like that. I've had quite a few "happy nights" that were ruined by unpleasant news or the incredibly stupid actions of another.I know it's not much of a silver lining, but at least you'll be able to throw yourself back out there if the two of you really end up getting a divorce. Also as long as the two of you are committed to raising the children they should turn out just fine, hell even if it ends up being just you they should too. I've got a couple friends who grew up in broken homes. One of which had both parents putting in effort into making sure he still turned out alright and the other who didn't grow up with a father in his life. They've both been pretty successful too, the first is going to be entering the CHP and the second is following his passion for teaching and music and is going to become a high school music teacher.
Quote from: Lord Commissar on September 29, 2014, 03:52:34 AMQuote from: MyNameIsCharlie on September 29, 2014, 03:44:31 AMQuote from: Lord Commissar on September 29, 2014, 03:42:59 AMI hate to say this, but I kind of saw this coming two years ago when you first started reporting that your wife was having a hard time accepting responsibility for your newborn adopted child.I feel for you man, I can't really imagine how you must be feeling at the moment.And now I have to go and pick up the second child. That's the worst part of it. Tonight was supposed to be a happy night. This was supposed to be good news.Life has a way of biting you in the ass like that. I've had quite a few "happy nights" that were ruined by unpleasant news or the incredibly stupid actions of another.I know it's not much of a silver lining, but at least you'll be able to throw yourself back out there if the two of you really end up getting a divorce. Also as long as the two of you are committed to raising the children they should turn out just fine, hell even if it ends up being just you they should too. I've got a couple friends who grew up in broken homes. One of which had both parents putting in effort into making sure he still turned out alright and the other who didn't grow up with a father in his life. They've both been pretty successful too, the first is going to be entering the CHP and the second is following his passion for teaching and music and is going to become a high school music teacher.From what I've seem his wife doesn't even seem interested in raising them. I was raised in a 'broken home' with plenty of abuse and I turned out fine. It all depends on how Charlie handles it.
Quote from: Septy on September 29, 2014, 03:54:43 AMQuote from: Lord Commissar on September 29, 2014, 03:52:34 AMQuote from: MyNameIsCharlie on September 29, 2014, 03:44:31 AMQuote from: Lord Commissar on September 29, 2014, 03:42:59 AMI hate to say this, but I kind of saw this coming two years ago when you first started reporting that your wife was having a hard time accepting responsibility for your newborn adopted child.I feel for you man, I can't really imagine how you must be feeling at the moment.And now I have to go and pick up the second child. That's the worst part of it. Tonight was supposed to be a happy night. This was supposed to be good news.Life has a way of biting you in the ass like that. I've had quite a few "happy nights" that were ruined by unpleasant news or the incredibly stupid actions of another.I know it's not much of a silver lining, but at least you'll be able to throw yourself back out there if the two of you really end up getting a divorce. Also as long as the two of you are committed to raising the children they should turn out just fine, hell even if it ends up being just you they should too. I've got a couple friends who grew up in broken homes. One of which had both parents putting in effort into making sure he still turned out alright and the other who didn't grow up with a father in his life. They've both been pretty successful too, the first is going to be entering the CHP and the second is following his passion for teaching and music and is going to become a high school music teacher.From what I've seem his wife doesn't even seem interested in raising them. I was raised in a 'broken home' with plenty of abuse and I turned out fine. It all depends on how Charlie handles it.I am committed to my children, and in being the best father I can be. Mine wasn't there most of the time, and when he was he was a drunken asshole. So, I am determined to NOT be like that.
From what I've seem his wife doesn't even seem interested in raising them.
At least you have the children to draw some stability from. You seem to acknowledge that. Apart from that... you have my anger on your behalf.
Quote from: Elegiac on September 29, 2014, 04:09:00 AMAt least you have the children to draw some stability from. You seem to acknowledge that. Apart from that... you have my anger on your behalf.Unless they get divorced and his wife gets custody. Which will happen since this is the U.S.
Quote from: Septy on September 29, 2014, 04:12:38 AMQuote from: Elegiac on September 29, 2014, 04:09:00 AMAt least you have the children to draw some stability from. You seem to acknowledge that. Apart from that... you have my anger on your behalf.Unless they get divorced and his wife gets custody. Which will happen since this is the U.S.Not always. I think Charlie should be able to present himself as the primary care giver quite easily from what I remember.
Quote from: MyNameIsCharlie on September 29, 2014, 03:53:26 AMQuote from: challengerX on September 29, 2014, 03:50:50 AMI knew it. That sucks man. You shouldn't adopt another kid. I won't tell you to divorce or stay, that's up to you. But you shouldn't force another kid to have to deal with this.Its a wee bit late to back out now. He is being born as we type this. I have a cab here in 3 hours and 9 minutes to take me to the airport for the flight to Jacksonville.What a great night to break the news to me, eh?It's never late. You're not forced to go get the baby. Nobody's holding you at gunpoint. Your wife has broken her wedding vows and has been sneaky about it too. Is this really the type of person you want to raise kids with? Is she really the person who should mother these children, when she has already shown no interest in doing so? Let me tell you something, a lot of women adopt because they think they're supposed to have kids. Please, don't do this. It's not right. It's not right for the kids to live like this, and it's not right for you to have to eventually take care of two kids on your own. Cut your losses and give this one kid the best you can.
Quote from: challengerX on September 29, 2014, 03:50:50 AMI knew it. That sucks man. You shouldn't adopt another kid. I won't tell you to divorce or stay, that's up to you. But you shouldn't force another kid to have to deal with this.Its a wee bit late to back out now. He is being born as we type this. I have a cab here in 3 hours and 9 minutes to take me to the airport for the flight to Jacksonville.What a great night to break the news to me, eh?
Quote from: Elegiac on September 29, 2014, 04:14:18 AMQuote from: Septy on September 29, 2014, 04:12:38 AMQuote from: Elegiac on September 29, 2014, 04:09:00 AMAt least you have the children to draw some stability from. You seem to acknowledge that. Apart from that... you have my anger on your behalf.Unless they get divorced and his wife gets custody. Which will happen since this is the U.S.Not always. I think Charlie should be able to present himself as the primary care giver quite easily from what I remember.Charlie will still get some custody, like on weekends and stuff. But full custody is only given to men in very extreme cases, such as the woman being deemed mentally unfit.
Quote from: challengerX on September 29, 2014, 04:01:27 AMQuote from: MyNameIsCharlie on September 29, 2014, 03:53:26 AMQuote from: challengerX on September 29, 2014, 03:50:50 AMI knew it. That sucks man. You shouldn't adopt another kid. I won't tell you to divorce or stay, that's up to you. But you shouldn't force another kid to have to deal with this.Its a wee bit late to back out now. He is being born as we type this. I have a cab here in 3 hours and 9 minutes to take me to the airport for the flight to Jacksonville.What a great night to break the news to me, eh?It's never late. You're not forced to go get the baby. Nobody's holding you at gunpoint. Your wife has broken her wedding vows and has been sneaky about it too. Is this really the type of person you want to raise kids with? Is she really the person who should mother these children, when she has already shown no interest in doing so? Let me tell you something, a lot of women adopt because they think they're supposed to have kids. Please, don't do this. It's not right. It's not right for the kids to live like this, and it's not right for you to have to eventually take care of two kids on your own. Cut your losses and give this one kid the best you can.I know your heart is in the right place, but stop. Just stop. If I go it alone, I am pushing through with this. My son will have a brother.
Quote from: MyNameIsCharlie on September 29, 2014, 04:18:06 AMQuote from: challengerX on September 29, 2014, 04:01:27 AMQuote from: MyNameIsCharlie on September 29, 2014, 03:53:26 AMQuote from: challengerX on September 29, 2014, 03:50:50 AMI knew it. That sucks man. You shouldn't adopt another kid. I won't tell you to divorce or stay, that's up to you. But you shouldn't force another kid to have to deal with this.Its a wee bit late to back out now. He is being born as we type this. I have a cab here in 3 hours and 9 minutes to take me to the airport for the flight to Jacksonville.What a great night to break the news to me, eh?It's never late. You're not forced to go get the baby. Nobody's holding you at gunpoint. Your wife has broken her wedding vows and has been sneaky about it too. Is this really the type of person you want to raise kids with? Is she really the person who should mother these children, when she has already shown no interest in doing so? Let me tell you something, a lot of women adopt because they think they're supposed to have kids. Please, don't do this. It's not right. It's not right for the kids to live like this, and it's not right for you to have to eventually take care of two kids on your own. Cut your losses and give this one kid the best you can.I know your heart is in the right place, but stop. Just stop. If I go it alone, I am pushing through with this. My son will have a brother.I strongly disagree and I think you're just going to get even more grief from this plus an extra kid growing up in a broken home, but it's your life. It's not the fact that the kid might be ok, it's that his childhood will be sad. You shouldn't force another kid to live in your life, with a woman who barely cares and cheated on you. Whatever. Do what you gotta do.