Girl I used to hang out with me hits me up about 2 months ago, says she's moving to FSU soon.
"We should hang out". Nothing happens.

Fast forward to yesterday. She randomly matches with me on tinder. Messages me saying she's drunk, and calls me cute. Compliments my appearance and talks about how "I'm really fucking cute" for a few messages. She messages me again tonight just random conversation, so I ask her what the fuck last night was about. Gives me this wall of text about how she likes me but doesn't want to date right now, she's learning to live on her own and be an adult during college. I then decide to be a cheeky bastard and ask her if she's drunk. She then says she doesn't drink and never has. I make her mad, then she says every time we ever hung out, she was wasted.

Are women just oblivious due to emotions? Like holy shit, at least keep your story straight damn.

Toast/Envelope followed by surprise buttsecks

How big is her dick?

Woah... dude... that is so weird, man, like... wow.

Punch her in the balls.

Just give her the D already.

Rocketman serious question: are you are a virgin? I don't mean this in a condescending way at all