try to make me laugh

 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair?

Spoiler
Cancer
.
I thought it was the chemotherapy that gave you hair loss. Actually, I'm pretty sure that is the case.
SHUT THE HELL UP YOU INSUFFERABLE cunt


 
Verbatim
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What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair?

Spoiler
Cancer
.
i smirked


 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
What breaks when you give it to a toddler?

Spoiler
Their hips.


V | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Just message me.
Vien 'Quitonm#1598 is my discord
Spoiler




Spoiler











 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
Three pregnant women are knitting sweaters for their babies at the OB/GYN waiting room.

The first one takes a pill out of her purse and says, "I want my baby to have a strong nervous system, so I'm taking a folate pill."

The second one takes a pill out of her purse and says, "I want my baby to have healthy blood, so I'm taking an iron pill."

The third one takes a pill out of her purse and says, "This is thalidomide."

The other two women look in horror. "WHY?!"

The third one calmly replies, "I just fucked up the sleeves on this sweater."


 
challengerX
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?

Spoiler
Isaac Newton died a virgin.


Desty | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair?

Spoiler
Cancer
.
I thought it was the chemotherapy that gave you hair loss. Actually, I'm pretty sure that is the case.
SHUT THE HELL UP YOU INSUFFERABLE cunt
There's a certain joy to making you annoyed


 
Verbatim
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>Pit
>"Goku"
>"Chun-Li"

almost got me


 
Verbatim
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What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?

Spoiler
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
the thing about this type of humor is that, while i find it funny, i've never had an audible giggle over one


I_IRONMAN_I | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Stark Industries
"Heavy boots of lead
fills his victims full of dread
Running as fast as they can
Iron Man lives again!"


 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
What's the first thing you do after you rape a deaf girl?

Spoiler
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
Last Edit: July 12, 2015, 03:05:00 PM by Meta Cognition


 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
Little Jimmy is in his room playing with his toy cars when a wormhole opens up and a man steps out. "Jimmy! I'm you from the future!"

Shocked, little Jimmy replies, "Really?! Wow! What do I become when I grow up?"

"A pedophile," Older Jimmy says, locking the door.


 
Verbatim
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Little Jimmy is in his room playing with his toy cars when a wormhole opens up and a man steps out. "Jimmy! I'm you from the future!"

Shocked, little Jimmy replies, "Really?! Wow! What do I become when I grow up?"

"A pedophile," Older Jimmy says, locking the door.
i love it

didn't make me laugh though


 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
Who are the worlds fastest readers?

Spoiler
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in ten seconds.


 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
What's the leading cause of paedophilia?

Spoiler
Sexy kids.


 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
What's eight inches long, red and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?

Spoiler
Her miscarriage.


 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
Why do you put the baby in the blender feet first?

Spoiler
So it can finish sucking you off.


 
Verbatim
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this is all old material


 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
What's the difference between Hitler and the Boston bombers?

The Boston bombers could actually end a race.


 
Verbatim
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i think dark humor works better spoken


 
More Than Mortal
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This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
What organ in the female body remains warm even after death?

My cock.


Dolphinizer | Newbie
 
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No


Ingy | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Nic Cage in his Superman costume from that never made Burton Superman movie


Dolphinizer | Newbie
 
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Three pregnant women are knitting sweaters for their babies at the OB/GYN waiting room.

The first one takes a pill out of her purse and says, "I want my baby to have a strong nervous system, so I'm taking a folate pill."

The second one takes a pill out of her purse and says, "I want my baby to have healthy blood, so I'm taking an iron pill."

The third one takes a pill out of her purse and says, "This is thalidomide."

The other two women look in horror. "WHY?!"

The third one calmly replies, "I just fucked up the sleeves on this sweater."

You win


Ingy | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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By the way, what're you eating under there?


 
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By the way, what're you eating under there?
some up dog


Mmmmm Napalm | Legendary Invincible!
 
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gurb
A guy really wants his date to have an amazing prom. He makes sure to go all out, sparing no expense.

He goes to schedule a limo ride at the limousine service, but there's a massive line. He waits for hours, not wanting to disappoint his date.

Then, he goes to rent an extremely high-quality tuxedo, but yet  again, there's a huge line, and it also takes forever to complete his order.

Finally, it's prom night, and the guy has all the elements in place. At the dance, his date asks him to get them refreshments. So, he goes over to the drinks, and there's no punch line.


 
Verbatim
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A guy really wants his date to have an amazing prom. He makes sure to go all out, sparing no expense.

He goes to schedule a limo ride at the limousine service, but there's a massive line. He waits for hours, not wanting to disappoint his date.

Then, he goes to rent an extremely high-quality tuxedo, but yet  again, there's a huge line, and it also takes forever to complete his order.

Finally, it's prom night, and the guy has all the elements in place. At the dance, his date asks him to get them refreshments. So, he goes over to the drinks, and there's no punch line.
clever

jokes that take a few paragraphs to set up rarely elicit laughter from me though


 
Hahahaha very funny Zonda
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RIP ENDIE
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