Srsly not even joking stay out the fucking ghetto neighborhoods... I had a friend from the UK who's accent awoke the horde in the Bronx.


Also since you're going to the west coast prepare for some mind numbingly stupid people.


Try to fuck a few people too, you'll have some advantages if you aren't a corpulant disease.

Quote from: Vyle on September 19, 2015, 11:50:21 AM

tell me what state you're going to so i can get real specific

Either California, Texas or Arizona.

Hey, I live in Texas. Where were you planning on going if you end up going?

As an expert in traveling to America, here's a few good tips:

Always clap. Your plane lands, you clap. You go see a movie, you clap. The grocery store bag boy hands you your groceries, you clap. Waiter shows up with food, you clap. If you really want to fit in, you can loudly exclaim "bless you!" when you do. Simple stuff.

Tip everyone. Your cab driver, your waiters, your pilot on the plane crossing the atlantic (just put some in the little basket they hand around before landing) and even random people on the street. "Gratuity" is what they call it. No one really understands it or how much you're supposed to give, but you're a rude piece of shit if you don't so peer pressure keeps this alive.

"Football" is some strange activity where men hug in tights and padding for an average of 13 seconds before you get 5 minutes of commercials. It's pretty gay and you don't really use your feet nor play with a ball, but they still consider this a sport and call it football for some reason. Best to just roll with it and occasionally say things like "good catch, quarterbacker" and "wow what a play to the 3rd yard by the wide left receiver" to fit in.

Throwing rocks and other assorted objects at brown people or asians while yelling "this one is for 9/11" or "take that for Pearl Harbor you gook" is strongly encouraged, especially in the South.

Military adoration and respect for the flag is mandatory. If you see someone in uniform, you are obligated by law to thank them for their service and kiss their shoes. If you see an American flag (and trust me, you'll see hundreds because these people are crazy about their stars and stripes) you must recite the pledge of allegiance and raise your hand in the hitler salute which was traditionally used in American classrooms too. Some call it blatant indocrination, others patriotism.

Guns are a religion. You must carry at least 2 at all times and flaunt them as clearly as possible. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" is an actual law in some states and pertains to the trading of firearms. If you'd happen to turn 19 when you're over there, you must compete in the trials that make you a man in the eyes of the US goverment. As a foreigner I never found out the exact requirements, but school shootings and something with a bald eagle are a part of it.

Oh and get laid a lot with women loving your British accent. People definitely liked mine, so they should enjoy yours too.

To answer your tip issue, as a pure bred american.

Always tip between 15%-20% of the bill, especially on waiters, since most jobs like that aren't amazing at money making, it's common courtesy.

Idk, just google it or something. We can't really say everything you should or shouldn't do. The U.S. is diverse in standards and culture anyway.

Dont touch the little kids

Quote from: Vyle on September 19, 2015, 12:06:28 PM

Quote from: Citrus Snake on September 19, 2015, 12:04:39 PM

Quote from: Kitsunekun on September 19, 2015, 11:38:21 AM

Tipping waiters it's best to tip between 15-20% (depending on what areas you visit). They only make about $2.13 an hour, so if you're planning to go out to eat you might want to budget in a tip unless someone else offers to cover the tip. However, if the service is terrible you can tip less obviously. Where are you wanting to visit because that greatly influences what kind of personalities you may or may not encounter. I live in the south and everyone is pretty polite, they can't drive, but they're not that bad. It's kind of entertaining to see how weebs and sportsfaggots get along in the same living space.

>tipping

dont go out to eat if you cant afford to cough up a few bucks to support the people serving you

nah

they should be paid an actual wage instead of relying on others to pay them
luckily that's the case in non-backwards countries

That's the way it should work, but it isn't how it is, so if you go to America and want to go out to eat it is good to know how things work, and that tipping is important, because if you don't tip and then come back they will probably treat you terribly. There have been multiple times when I worked in restaurants the servers would give tables to other servers because they think/assume/know the table won't tip. I was usually the one to take these unwanted tables. Usually I could get them to tip, but there were times they wouldn't but it wouldn't change how I served them. That's just bad business imo, but this is America home of the Entitled, and that's the reality of our fucked up country.

Kill a hooker, go for the full experience.

Quote from: Citrus Snake on September 19, 2015, 02:15:45 PM

Quote from: challengerX on September 19, 2015, 01:59:24 PM

You're an asshole if you don't tip.

nah
the people who don't pay people in the hospitality industry enough money are the assholes, not me
i'm just going in to get food, not to pay for their electricity bill

That's how it is. Your an asshole for not tipping these people. Your idealism isn't solving any issues.

i'm not an asshole for not paying their wages, because i shouldn't have to
fuck social pressure. america shouldn't be so backwards

Waiters make a lot of money in America, actually. More than the pathetic minimum wage in America and even more than the British minimum wage which is pretty damn terrible too.

lmao what

tipping is excpected in america because they get paid pittance
it isn't expected here because they get paid a liveable, although still fairly shit, wage

Make sure to do the stupidest shit and when someone calls you out on it, ask "oh wot mate you don't do this in america?"

Quote from: Citrus Snake on September 19, 2015, 03:37:29 PM

Quote from: challengerX on September 19, 2015, 03:32:14 PM

Waiters make a lot of money in America, actually. More than the pathetic minimum wage in America and even more than the British minimum wage which is pretty damn terrible too.

lmao what

tipping is excpected in america because they get paid pittance
it isn't expected here because they get paid a liveable, although still fairly shit, wage

Try rereading my post because you look retarded. That's exactly what I just said.

Waiters in America make a good amount of money because of tips. More than if they were paid the national minimum wage.

holy shit are you dense?