So uhh funny story

Zonda | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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So at the beginning of the year I decided to pull the plug on my relationship. She was incredibly toxic, manipulative and I had a pretty clear idea that she wasn’t going to change and there was a 90% chance she was a cheater (like all the warning signs were there and the guy was straight up terrified whenever I was around).

So after a messy fight and telling some quite nasty truths to her face that maybe didn’t need to be said, but felt good after tolerating her abuse for a few months I cut her off. I was unfamiliar with such ugly breakups at the time so I figured I’d try to rebound as a way to get her out of my head. I had numerous casual hookups earlier this year and I thought I wouldn’t have any problems as I wrapped my willy and literally never finished at any time.

Well one of the hookups explained to me that she was on the pill and that she was clean, well I was dumb enough to take her word for it and go in without protection, and boy was that a mistake. 2 weeks later I was getting really itchy and it kind of felt like I had a UTI as well.

To be on the safe side, I went and got myself checked. 100% confident I was clear and it was just my skin condition playing up (both of those symptoms often present themselves but were never anything that was actually harmful) and a week later I was told I had Chlamydia. Fucking legit this chapter of my life played out like RomanGladiator was its architect smh.

Fortunately the treatment is simple and I’m clean now, but I literally never thought I would get myself into that situation.

TL;DR: use protection or get slapped with the consequences.


A Cheese Potato | Legendary Invincible!
 
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beware the snatch, don't get the scratch


 
DAS B00T x2
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
and literally never finished at any time.
ha cuck


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‘The most inoffensive user on this website’ - Verbatim
ha cuck
it’s not my fault girls don’t know how to handle dick they just assume every guy has PE and don’t put any effort into stimulating u

I’ve legit been ridden for 2 hours one time and she absolutely flipped it at me when I didn’t finish like I attacked her appearance by not having an orgasm lmao


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🦈🦈🦈
Can't relate. Never even hugged a girl before.


 
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Goodness gracious, great balls of lightning!
Can't relate. Live in the county with the highest amount of STDs 😂👌


Zonda | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Can't relate. Never even hugged a girl before.

Can't relate. Live in the county with the highest amount of STDs 😂👌

h


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don't trust her demeanor, wrap your wiener


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Off-topic but I'm pretty sure I randomly came across one of your tweets yesterday.


 
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ha cuck
it’s not my fault girls don’t know how to handle dick they just assume every guy has PE and don’t put any effort into stimulating u

I’ve legit been ridden for 2 hours one time and she absolutely flipped it at me when I didn’t finish like I attacked her appearance by not having an orgasm lmao
yeah, blow will do that to ya.


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‘The most inoffensive user on this website’ - Verbatim
Off-topic but I'm pretty sure I randomly came across one of your tweets yesterday.
oh sweet Jesus no


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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
Huh, gotta wrap that tool fella


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‘The most inoffensive user on this website’ - Verbatim
yeah, blow will do that to ya.
make girls have an existential crisis over the fact they can’t finish me?


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Well I guess it's better to get chlamydia than to get some bitch pregnant.



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‘The most inoffensive user on this website’ - Verbatim
Well I guess it's better to get chlamydia than to get some bitch pregnant.
i’ll take it as a learning lesson tbh. Much rather a $20 pill to solve my problems than have to raise another version of me (I was a fucking nightmare as a kid lmao)

If I stay a hoe I’m defs gonna make be telling people I ain’t smashing unprotected unless they (and I) have been checked recently.


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If you know, you know.
If she says she is clean - she probably isn't.

Had a friend who fucked prostitutes w/o a cum-dome. I then had to pay for his treatment since he didn't have enough money. He learned a couple of lessons then.


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ayy lmao
Woah your a lesbian?


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‘The most inoffensive user on this website’ - Verbatim
If she says she is clean - she probably isn't.

Had a friend who fucked prostitutes w/o a cum-dome. I then had to pay for his treatment since he didn't have enough money. He learned a couple of lessons then.
fuck mayne, that’s rough that he wasn’t even in a position to help himself after poor life choices.

But I don’t just straight up hook up w/ town bikes. I get to know them enough to gauge whether or not I trust them first, but clearly that alone wasn’t enough.


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If you know, you know.
If she says she is clean - she probably isn't.

Had a friend who fucked prostitutes w/o a cum-dome. I then had to pay for his treatment since he didn't have enough money. He learned a couple of lessons then.
fuck mayne, that’s rough that he wasn’t even in a position to help himself after poor life choices.

But I don’t just straight up hook up w/ town bikes. I get to know them enough to gauge whether or not I trust them first, but clearly that alone wasn’t enough.
No joke, a good way of testing her yourself is by smelling the ol' wiener oven. STDs smell pretty bad.


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‘The most inoffensive user on this website’ - Verbatim
If she says she is clean - she probably isn't.

Had a friend who fucked prostitutes w/o a cum-dome. I then had to pay for his treatment since he didn't have enough money. He learned a couple of lessons then.
fuck mayne, that’s rough that he wasn’t even in a position to help himself after poor life choices.

But I don’t just straight up hook up w/ town bikes. I get to know them enough to gauge whether or not I trust them first, but clearly that alone wasn’t enough.
No joke, a good way of testing her yourself is by smelling the ol' wiener oven. STDs smell pretty bad.
eh it’s still a pretty inaccurate method. guys and girls both fucking reek the moment the pants come off if, say, you’re a morning shower person and you’re doing the deed later in the day.

Wrapping it and only fucking trusty ppl (or just staying on hiatus like I have been) seems to be the ez option tbh. Intercourse is incredibly overrated anyway.