i go outside to interact with the world but the wind blows my fedora off my head
i try to after it but my knees hit my man boob too hard and it hurts
i stop to catch my breathe and these hot cis girls laugh at me
i ask for their numbers and they laugh harder
im pretty embarrassed by it and angry at the same time, im a nice guy i would treat a lady right, wait until i tell redditt
my fedora is too far for me too catch, doctor says i cant run much my legs can't hand my weight
mfw not even mad ive got 50 pairs at home
i go to local boardgame store
new dungeons and dragons character models for me to buy and paint
walk outside of store and i trip over the door stop
fall on my character model and it breaks
whole crowd is staring and i pee myself
i get up and pretend as if that was supposed to happen
i laugh it off and people start carry on their business
im right now super embarrassed all these m'ladies saw me make a fool of myself
im rushing home walking really fast and i start to sweat
my cargo shorts are falling down, my hips are really wet and sweaty
oooohh shit they fell around my ankles i knew this XXXXXXXL was too small
mfw i felt like going commando today
micro penis is out in the open
rush to pull my shorts up and i tip over on to my head
my body crushes my head and now im dead pants down in the middle of the sidewalk
mfw

you died

O...outside?

Thats sad.