So I feel like I'm in a pretty bad place mentally/emotionally

Verbatim · July 23, 2017, 10:58:46 PM

I can't really say much to help, I'm afraid.

I want the people I love to be happy, and I recognize that I'm not the center of anyone's universe—not even my own. So to see my loved ones happy makes me happy, too, even if it means that they're not spending time with me. Or even if they want absolutely nothing to do with me. It doesn't really hurt me at all; all that's important to me is that they're happy doing whatever they want to do in their life, seeing who they want to see, and I'm peachy.

I think I'm pretty much entirely unaffected by heartache. Maybe it's a "cuck" mentality, but I'd consider it almost selfish of me to be hurt by someone else's happiness, just because I don't happen to be the one who they're interested in. Not to say you're selfish for feeling otherwise. That's merely something I tell myself, and it works for me. May not work for you.

But as a result, I can't really empathize with what you're feeling right now, so I can't offer any meaningful advice. I'm sorry, though.

Elai · July 23, 2017, 11:01:43 PM

Quote from: The Lord Ruler on July 23, 2017, 10:57:42 PM

It can be very exciting if you aren't a boring edgy faggot

yeah, flirting is fun but not when you're already in love

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Your stomach starts to rumble when you know you're ready to move on?

do i really need to explain what i meant

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And it's whats holding you back 🤔🤔🤔🤔

nothing is holding me back. i am a god, unchained.

but it's good to know you're not emotionally honest with yourself so you can get laid more often.

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Idk you're the one that just did a runaround coming to the conclusion i was already at in my first post

no, i just don't think he's at that stage where he should be going out with other girls

like if you talked to him on a personal level at all you'd know that

it's just bad advice to tell him to start dating again

Jive Turkey · July 23, 2017, 11:09:38 PM

Quote from: Verbatim on July 23, 2017, 10:58:46 PM

I can't really say much to help, I'm afraid.

I want the people I love to be happy, and I recognize that I'm not the center of anyone's universe—not even my own. So to see my loved ones happy makes me happy, too, even if it means that they're not spending time with me. Or even if they want absolutely nothing to do with me. It doesn't really hurt me at all; all that's important to me is that they're happy doing whatever they want to do in their life, seeing who they want to see, and I'm peachy.

I think I'm pretty much entirely unaffected by heartache. Maybe it's a "cuck" mentality, but I'd consider it almost selfish of me to be hurt by someone else's happiness, just because I don't happen to be the one who they're interested in. Not to say you're selfish for feeling otherwise. That's merely something I tell myself, and it works for me. May not work for you.

But as a result, I can't really empathize with what you're feeling right now, so I can't offer any meaningful advice. I'm sorry, though.

Holy fuck you're so next level it's insane, I need to reach this

I have moments and periods where I can feel like this and accept it fully 100% it's very blissful. But it doesn't last because my ego comes in and I get jealous again etc

The Lord Ruler · July 23, 2017, 11:11:01 PM

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do i really need to explain what i meant

Yes, explain how exactly you know you're ready and how it equates to knowing when you're hungry

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nothing is holding me back. i am a god, unchained.

You're a fucking faggot

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but it's good to know you're not emotionally honest with yourself so you can get laid more often.

You're an idiot that doesn't know what love is

The fact that you keep bringing up sex is proof enough of that

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no, i just don't think he's at that stage where he should be going out with other girls

like if you talked to him on a personal level at all you'd know that

it's just bad advice to tell him to start dating again

Yeah, obviously it's not a right away thing

I doubt he's any different than any other friends ive had thats gone through long term relationship breakups

Jive Turkey · July 23, 2017, 11:14:36 PM

This is a weird convo ion even know what you guys are arguing about so I can't really jump in

Elai · July 23, 2017, 11:17:37 PM

Quote from: The Lord Ruler on July 23, 2017, 11:11:01 PM

You're a fucking faggot

cool

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You're an idiot that doesn't know what love is

The fact that you keep bringing up sex is proof enough of that

can you chill, you're getting way too defensive

i bring up sex because it's obvious that's what you're about, just like everyone else. "trying to get a thicc girl to sit on my face tonight". which one of us has made that thread before.

i'm not even saying there's anything wrong with that. i don't know why you got all pissy about this. again you know nothing of my life but you'll cling to whatever you can to get a snarky little comment in there.

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Yeah, obviously it's not a right away thing

cool, glad you concede

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Yes, explain how exactly you know you're ready and how it equates to knowing when you're hungry

because your body tells you. it's a feeling you get -- not that complicated. if he's out at the super market and sees a pretty girl he'd be down to shag, you don't think that's a good sign he's ready?

Elai · July 23, 2017, 11:18:52 PM

Quote from: Jive Turkey on July 23, 2017, 11:14:36 PM

This is a weird convo ion even know what you guys are arguing about so I can't really jump in

i told ruler that his advice to start dating again was bad and he got pissy

Ian · July 23, 2017, 11:23:27 PM

I know you still care for her, but I think it's a horrendously disgusting thing for her to do to let you know that kind of information with the possibility of it hurting you. I would be absolutely furious if I had an ex give me such information.

I know it wont mean much and we hardly communicate unless it's about video games, but I always looked up to you dude. When I see your funny posts on Facebook, when I see you chatting it up here on Sep7, I always feel envious of the friends you make and how much easier you make socializing look. Please don't let anyone stop you from being any less awesome than you usually are.

To give you an idea , when you got that huge gash on your lip from that trip, I knew that if that were to happen to me I'd be crying like a big fucking baby. Yet the first thing you do is snap a selfie and make dank memes out of it. That's the kind of cool shit you do that I admire.

Quote from: Big Boss on July 23, 2017, 05:14:51 PM

Despite her being friendly, it was clearly one sided and I wasn't getting anywhere. Sometime towards the end of June, she went on a date with some guy and had sex. This is the part that hurt me the most, I know she's moved on and is well within her rights to do whatever she wants, but fucking hell the thoughts and imagery of it just really fucking bother me. Every day, it seems to just pop into my head at random, instantly killing my mood and usually makes me lose my appetite. Just makes me feel so damn empty, it's jealousy but it hurts so much to think about.

The Lord Ruler · July 23, 2017, 11:27:15 PM

Quote from: Prehistoric on July 23, 2017, 11:18:52 PM

Quote from: Jive Turkey on July 23, 2017, 11:14:36 PM
This is a weird convo ion even know what you guys are arguing about so I can't really jump in

i told ruler that his advice to start dating again was bad and he got pissy

Lol all I did was say your mindset was pessimistic and you started going off on "lack of emotional depth"

You call my advice bad but come to the conclusion I made in my first post? I think you're just trying to accuse me of being pissy to deter from the fact I was right

Elai · July 23, 2017, 11:29:29 PM

Quote from: The Lord Ruler on July 23, 2017, 11:27:15 PM

Quote from: Prehistoric on July 23, 2017, 11:18:52 PM
Quote from: Jive Turkey on July 23, 2017, 11:14:36 PM
This is a weird convo ion even know what you guys are arguing about so I can't really jump in

i told ruler that his advice to start dating again was bad and he got pissy

Lol all I did was say your mindset was pessimistic and you started going off on "lack of emotional depth"

if you had half-decent reading comprehension skills you'd be able to tell that i was simply returning the back-handed comment about pessimism. i wasn't actually insiniuating anything.

but you're not right? your advice was bad for him at this moment in time

The Lord Ruler · July 23, 2017, 11:37:45 PM

So dating othed girls=meaningless sex but wanting to shag a random girl in the market is a sign you know you're ready to move on?

🤔🤔

Deleted · July 23, 2017, 11:40:38 PM

Damn, I'm no good at giving advice on these kinds of things but I hope it get's better, man.

Elai · July 23, 2017, 11:44:24 PM

Quote from: The Lord Ruler on July 23, 2017, 11:37:45 PM

So dating othed girls=meaningless sex but wanting to shag a random girl in the market is a sign you know you're ready to move on?

🤔🤔

yeah

all sex is meaningless

but when you're in love with someone else, having sex with anyone besides that person will make you feel empty afterwards

keep up

alphy · July 23, 2017, 11:51:23 PM

i kinda feel you. that's how i was with my last relationship, we didn't date for years but i still liked her a lot. we ended up breaking up for "2 reasons" (she thinks we broke up for 1 reason, i think of another reason) and i thought we would end up talking again but just based on how things ended, we never would and i haven't heard from her since

i'm sorry to hear that you lost a relationship that lasted for 3 years, it really does suck, if you liked them a lot. i had those feelings too, where i'd think of them and i'd feel hurt or sad or whatever. my best advice is just to do something that you enjoy doing. i love hanging out with friends or playing video games with them and it makes me think that i can move on, ya know? whenever i laugh w/ them it makes me know that errything will be just fine

True Turquoise · July 24, 2017, 12:41:16 AM

Moving on isn't easy, no but it'll slowly happen

DAS B00T x2 · July 24, 2017, 12:45:35 AM

When in doubt, bayo out.

Take that for what you will.

FatherlyNick - fuck putin · July 24, 2017, 04:26:11 AM

The best thing to do is cut all contact as soon as you break up. Imagine that person is just gone.

Now just reflect on what you did wrong and what you did right, work on yourself a little and start dating again. Get on Tinder and maybe you will find someone better.

Long distance pretty much never works out. Trust me man.
Also if that was your first love, it will hurt the most - cut all contact and think about your own life for now.

Big Boss · July 24, 2017, 04:59:12 AM

Quote from: Ian on July 23, 2017, 11:23:27 PM

I know you still care for her, but I think it's a horrendously disgusting thing for her to do to let you know that kind of information with the possibility of it hurting you. I would be absolutely furious if I had an ex give me such information.

I know it wont mean much and we hardly communicate unless it's about video games, but I always looked up to you dude. When I see your funny posts on Facebook, when I see you chatting it up here on Sep7, I always feel envious of the friends you make and how much easier you make socializing look. Please don't let anyone stop you from being any less awesome than you usually are.

To give you an idea , when you got that huge gash on your lip from that trip, I knew that if that were to happen to me I'd be crying like a big fucking baby. Yet the first thing you do is snap a selfie and make dank memes out of it. That's the kind of cool shit you do that I admire.

Quote from: Big Boss on July 23, 2017, 05:14:51 PM
Despite her being friendly, it was clearly one sided and I wasn't getting anywhere. Sometime towards the end of June, she went on a date with some guy and had sex. This is the part that hurt me the most, I know she's moved on and is well within her rights to do whatever she wants, but fucking hell the thoughts and imagery of it just really fucking bother me. Every day, it seems to just pop into my head at random, instantly killing my mood and usually makes me lose my appetite. Just makes me feel so damn empty, it's jealousy but it hurts so much to think about.

Thanks man, I don't really see myself as sociable but I do treat this place as more than just a random forum and try to make friends with people on here. I wish I had more irl friends I could hang with though.

And tbh taking a selfie wasn't my first thought, I actually just wanted to use my phone's camera as a mirror to assess the damage and I thought 'hey, the camera button is right there, I may as well snap a pic for the memories' lol

Big Boss · July 24, 2017, 05:00:18 AM

Also don't argue in my thread

Loaf · July 24, 2017, 05:26:03 AM

I didn't read the OP, it was too long. I do recommend touching your wiener though.

Big Boss · July 24, 2017, 09:05:58 AM

Thanks for the kind words people, I think I've told you people more than my actual friends. Feel more comfortable here for some reason. Nice to know some of you are actually real living people and not offensive racist memebots

Kitsune 狐 · July 24, 2017, 09:19:00 AM

that's kind of petty that she told you she had sex. I'm sorry you're hurting. It's hard moving on and I wish I had advice, but I always had rebounds after break ups, so I'm not good at that kind of advice. I hope your heart heals quickly and you find a healthy way to cope.

Big Boss · July 24, 2017, 10:19:14 AM

Quote from: Kitsuné on July 24, 2017, 09:19:00 AM

that's kind of petty that she told you she had sex. I'm sorry you're hurting. It's hard moving on and I wish I had advice, but I always had rebounds after break ups, so I'm not good at that kind of advice. I hope your heart heals quickly and you find a healthy way to cope.

She didn't just straight up tell me, I just guessed and she confirmed it. Was pretty obvious anyway Might have brought it on myself. I thought the date would just be a little thing but she ended up being away from chat the whole day, so it was obvious what happened. Spent a good while crying.

Kitsune 狐 · July 24, 2017, 10:41:21 AM

Quote from: Big Boss on July 24, 2017, 10:19:14 AM

Quote from: Kitsuné on July 24, 2017, 09:19:00 AM
that's kind of petty that she told you she had sex. I'm sorry you're hurting. It's hard moving on and I wish I had advice, but I always had rebounds after break ups, so I'm not good at that kind of advice. I hope your heart heals quickly and you find a healthy way to cope.

She didn't just straight up tell me, I just guessed and she confirmed it. Was pretty obvious anyway Might have brought it on myself. I thought the date would just be a little thing but she ended up being away from chat the whole day, so it was obvious what happened. Spent a good while crying.

Damn that sucks.

::virtual hugs::

FatherlyNick - fuck putin · July 24, 2017, 10:59:22 AM

Quote from: Big Boss on July 24, 2017, 10:19:14 AM

Quote from: Kitsuné on July 24, 2017, 09:19:00 AM
that's kind of petty that she told you she had sex. I'm sorry you're hurting. It's hard moving on and I wish I had advice, but I always had rebounds after break ups, so I'm not good at that kind of advice. I hope your heart heals quickly and you find a healthy way to cope.

She didn't just straight up tell me, I just guessed and she confirmed it. Was pretty obvious anyway Might have brought it on myself. I thought the date would just be a little thing but she ended up being away from chat the whole day, so it was obvious what happened. Spent a good while crying.

Don't focus on it. Cry it out if you feel like it, but I strongly advise you cut all contact. tell her not to contact you at all and you don't talk to her either.

Big Boss · July 24, 2017, 11:10:04 AM

Quote from: FatherlyNick on July 24, 2017, 10:59:22 AM

Quote from: Big Boss on July 24, 2017, 10:19:14 AM
Quote from: Kitsuné on July 24, 2017, 09:19:00 AM
that's kind of petty that she told you she had sex. I'm sorry you're hurting. It's hard moving on and I wish I had advice, but I always had rebounds after break ups, so I'm not good at that kind of advice. I hope your heart heals quickly and you find a healthy way to cope.

She didn't just straight up tell me, I just guessed and she confirmed it. Was pretty obvious anyway Might have brought it on myself. I thought the date would just be a little thing but she ended up being away from chat the whole day, so it was obvious what happened. Spent a good while crying.

Don't focus on it. Cry it out if you feel like it, but I strongly advise you cut all contact. tell her not to contact you at all and you don't talk to her either.

She blocked me after I got upset with her over it a few weeks ago, so I guess all I have to do is try and move on now.

Wish I didn't live a million miles away from everyone here

Bonewheel Barry · July 24, 2017, 10:11:13 PM

FUCK THAT THOT, my friend. Disregard her and her entire existence. Remove her completely from your mind. Do that for a few weeks and you'll be better off.

In the meantime, focus on real shit like classwork or work-work.

Big Boss · July 26, 2017, 06:05:02 AM

I kinda wanna fall again. Felt like a rush.

FatherlyNick - fuck putin · July 26, 2017, 03:24:05 PM

Quote from: Big Boss on July 26, 2017, 06:05:02 AM

I kinda wanna fall again. Felt like a rush.

Why do we fall, Big Boss?

Spoiler

So we can crash this plane with no survivors

Zonda · July 27, 2017, 10:44:19 AM

You have a few options when dealing with a relationship you wanted to see succeed.

-rebound
-wait until you're ready to move on
-don't take no for an answer.

I'm always an advocate for the latter if you're hung up on someone, at least be open about your feelings. Do something big and win her over my guy, you got this.

Fast rebounds can help you get over a relationship pretty quickly too, but it's kinda destructive and I don't wanna see people do that to themselves. Especially if there's a chance the other partner might still hold something for you.

Passively waiting to get over it while leaving her alone just doesn't work. You'll eventually try and come back anyway only this time you'll try something after she's already in another committed relationship. You may think you're being nice by not making things difficult for now but fuck that mentality. It doesn't gain you shit and it's always worth the gamble.