and i asked the polite gentleman on the other end if they happened to have any footballs shaped like dragon dildos in stock, and i found, to my great disappointment, that they did not
while we're on the subject of dick's sporting goods, here's a gif of a man running excitedly towards one of their stores due to his implied homosexuality
![](http://25.media.tumblr.com/5b3d912dc8ba5eed4bdf2707fc313a56/tumblr_mx88d48tDj1qav83lo4_400.gif)