Poll

T4R

Yes
13 (100%)
No
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 12

Should I ask this chick out

The Hån | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: The Han
IP: Logged

2,853 posts
does this stuff even work?
obviously considering theres nothing to lose by doing so
i can think of at least four things
prove it
loss of time, dignity, morale

could possibly get physically hurt depending on how crazy she is
elaborate on dignity?
getting rejected can be pretty mortifying depending on your disposition

the kind of dignity loss that makes you not want to speak to a female for months on end, even if you know it's silly and doesn't actually matter

well you cant let a "no" from a girl you just you just me keep you down. if you would be be down for months i would say youre a very fragile person.  if all you do is never try because you're scared of getting shot down, you'll never find someone.


 
Verbatim
| Komm, süßer Tod
 
more |
XBL:
PSN: Verbatim-1
Steam: Jaco230
ID: Verbatim
IP: Logged

48,049 posts
obviously considering theres nothing to lose by doing so
i can think of at least four things
prove it
loss of time, dignity, morale

could possibly get physically hurt depending on how crazy she is
elaborate on dignity?
getting rejected can be pretty mortifying depending on your disposition

the kind of dignity loss that makes you not want to speak to a female for months on end, even if you know it's silly and doesn't actually matter
well you cant let a "no" from a girl you just you just me keep you down. if you would be be down for months i would say youre a very fragile person.  if all you do is never try because you're scared of getting shot down, you'll never find someone.
maybe that's better


The Hån | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: The Han
IP: Logged

2,853 posts
does this stuff even work?
obviously considering theres nothing to lose by doing so
i can think of at least four things
prove it
loss of time, dignity, morale

could possibly get physically hurt depending on how crazy she is
elaborate on dignity?
getting rejected can be pretty mortifying depending on your disposition

the kind of dignity loss that makes you not want to speak to a female for months on end, even if you know it's silly and doesn't actually matter
well you cant let a "no" from a girl you just you just me keep you down. if you would be be down for months i would say youre a very fragile person.  if all you do is never try because you're scared of getting shot down, you'll never find someone.
maybe that's better

lmao no. youre gonna get tired of being lonely at some point.


Jive Turkey | Mythic Invincible!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Jive Turkey
IP: Logged

6,992 posts
 
About to drive to in n out and eat there I'll chime in once I get my burger gonna drop some very based wisdom ~


Jive Turkey | Mythic Invincible!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Jive Turkey
IP: Logged

6,992 posts
 
getting rejected can be pretty mortifying depending on your disposition

the kind of dignity loss that makes you not want to speak to a female for months on end, even if you know it's silly and doesn't actually matter
That is more so on your end though for hoping way too much. It's not the womans fault for saying no, and it shouldn't be the end of the world for you.

Besides, it's better to know how someone feels than always wonder "what if?" and regret it for a long period in your life.
it's not really a thing of "why couldn't she just say yes," it's a matter of "why would she say yes, why did i even try"

i do agree with the second part though
That sounds like low self esteem issues and if you think suddenly having a partner would make your life happier, you'd be wrong. You need to have your life in shape mentally before you attempt to include another in it. At least that's how I feel.
i agree, but again, this doesn't really apply to me either—you forget how weird i am

it's not that i think having a partner would make me happier, per se—i just see unhappiness and loneliness in other people, and i want to see if i can't offer anything to help them with that, because those are two things that resonate with me on a personal level

and then i remember—oh yeah, i don't actually have anything to offer to that end, so i can't really help anyone

so, like you said, it's ultimately a matter of adjusting myself first, but i'm the kind of person who wants to have his cake, eat it too, and share it with anyone else who may want it—but no one wants it, and that's kind of a crushing feeling
This mindset you have of wanting to go into a relationship for what you can GIVE to the other person, is the BEST mindset anyone can ever have going into a relationship!! Seriously, it's very next level and if everyone thought like that 90% of relationships would be way better off and happier. Most people(even subconsciously) use relationships to see what they can take: validation/sex/approval/less lonely. Which man times ends badly.

Your thinking takings a wrong turn however. When you start thinking that you have no value to offer that person, that's completely wrong. The idea that you want to improve your future partners life actually has tons of value in itself.

More on this later I'm gonna eat brb


Jive Turkey | Mythic Invincible!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: Jive Turkey
IP: Logged

6,992 posts
 
Basically, the idea that you don't believe you have anything to offer someone is a fallacy (idk what that word means but it sounds fitting)

EVERYONE has some sort of value to offer someone. Things like money/cars/gifts etc are not part of the inherent value you have that you can share with your partner so those aren't even necessary.

Bringing joy to someone doesn't require a lot at all. Making them laugh, having a stimulating convo, making them feel loved, THAT is improving their life and making them happy. Anyone can offer those things and every person has their own unique twist on how they give that gift. Those things coupled with growing together and stuff will lead to a very fulfilling relationship

In the beginning you sort of have to be willfully ignorant and assume value. I now have the mindset (majority of the time lol) where I tell myself: "Why WOULDN'T a girl want to be with me? I'm awesome". Sure there are a ton of reasons, but you have to literally just ignore them and assume you're awesome and have a lot to offer the girl. Over time it will build up into a strong belief.

And when the belief builds up, rejections won't phase you nearly as bad because they don't get your ego, because your ego doesn't need to be validated by other people's yes or no's.

Smh I sort of went on a rant idk, I have a lot to say on this topic


Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: DietrichSix
IP: Logged

11,784 posts
Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
Tfw jive drops relationship knowledge.


Super Irish | Legendary Invincible!
 
more |
XBL: Superirish19
PSN: Superirish19
Steam: Superirish19
ID: Super Irish
IP: Logged

6,010 posts
If I'm not here, I'm doing photography. Or I'm asleep. Or in lockdown. One of those three, anyway.

The current titlebar/avatar setup is just normal.
Fucking do it man.

The negatives are minor given that she's an unknown, and the positives can be up to wife and two kids and all the good stuff that is associated with it.


 
Verbatim
| Komm, süßer Tod
 
more |
XBL:
PSN: Verbatim-1
Steam: Jaco230
ID: Verbatim
IP: Logged

48,049 posts
getting rejected can be pretty mortifying depending on your disposition

the kind of dignity loss that makes you not want to speak to a female for months on end, even if you know it's silly and doesn't actually matter
That is more so on your end though for hoping way too much. It's not the womans fault for saying no, and it shouldn't be the end of the world for you.

Besides, it's better to know how someone feels than always wonder "what if?" and regret it for a long period in your life.
it's not really a thing of "why couldn't she just say yes," it's a matter of "why would she say yes, why did i even try"

i do agree with the second part though
That sounds like low self esteem issues and if you think suddenly having a partner would make your life happier, you'd be wrong. You need to have your life in shape mentally before you attempt to include another in it. At least that's how I feel.
i agree, but again, this doesn't really apply to me either—you forget how weird i am

it's not that i think having a partner would make me happier, per se—i just see unhappiness and loneliness in other people, and i want to see if i can't offer anything to help them with that, because those are two things that resonate with me on a personal level

and then i remember—oh yeah, i don't actually have anything to offer to that end, so i can't really help anyone

so, like you said, it's ultimately a matter of adjusting myself first, but i'm the kind of person who wants to have his cake, eat it too, and share it with anyone else who may want it—but no one wants it, and that's kind of a crushing feeling
This mindset you have of wanting to go into a relationship for what you can GIVE to the other person, is the BEST mindset anyone can ever have going into a relationship!! Seriously, it's very next level and if everyone thought like that 90% of relationships would be way better off and happier. Most people(even subconsciously) use relationships to see what they can take: validation/sex/approval/less lonely. Which man times ends badly.

Your thinking takings a wrong turn however. When you start thinking that you have no value to offer that person, that's completely wrong. The idea that you want to improve your future partners life actually has tons of value in itself.

More on this later I'm gonna eat brb
i don't really have a proper response to this, but i appreciate the advice

i'm glad you think i have the right mindset—i just need an attitude adjustment


 
More Than Mortal
| d-d-d-DANK ✡ 🔥🔥🔥 🌈
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam: MetaCognition
ID: Meta Cognition
IP: Logged

15,060 posts
This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
Yeah, I ain't gonna do it.


Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam:
ID: DietrichSix
IP: Logged

11,784 posts
Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison


Bonewheel Barry | Heroic Posting Riot
 
more |
XBL: Shadroxon
PSN:
Steam: SUPER MORAL PYROMANIAC FAT KID
ID: Zygluta
IP: Logged

846 posts
Wat r u, casul?
Just do it, fag. You got nothing to lose.


 
More Than Mortal
| d-d-d-DANK ✡ 🔥🔥🔥 🌈
 
more |
XBL:
PSN:
Steam: MetaCognition
ID: Meta Cognition
IP: Logged

15,060 posts
This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang but a whimper.
Just do it, fag. You got nothing to lose.
I wanna see where things go with somebody else.