I've got chains dragging me down.
Tell me all about it.
Ok. For some semblence of what's left of my sense of humor, I will. I'm fighting a battle I can't win. When fall rolls in, a depression rolls in with it. It's an "outside" depression. Environmentally induced. And right now, it's feeding my own depression. I had it some years back, but I've made some good strides over the years. But it was never totally gone.
And right now, I'm tearing myself apart. And the rational part of me, which is becoming clouded and skewed, can do nothing but sit and watch. It'll only be a matter of days at the most before I start to plummet, if I'm already not. I can see it. I am, broken. Can't think straight. No motivation. No energy. I'm sleeping, more, and more. And soon, things will begin to turn a shade of grey.
When I look at my life, I realize that I am trapped. Last time I had this depression, I clawed my way out of it. I got up, and fought not for myself, but for my friends and family. I bettered myself for their sake, so that I could help them. But I don't have that this time. I have nowhere to turn.
Being honest now, no lies, no tricks.
I'm terrified of how fast this came in. And I can't beat it this time.