Riddle thread!

A river?

Correct.

   
From the beginning of eternity
To the end of time and space
To the beginning of every end
And the end of every place.
What am I?

   
From the beginning of eternity
To the end of time and space
To the beginning of every end
And the end of every place.
What am I?

E

   
From the beginning of eternity
To the end of time and space
To the beginning of every end
And the end of every place.
What am I?

E for Eternity.

What goes around the world, but stays in one corner?

What goes around the world, but stays in one corner?

A stamp.

What goes around the world, but stays in one corner?

A boxer.

Another riddle

What gets wetter the more it dries?

A woman with a fetish for dishes.

A stamp.

You motherfu... yes that's correct.

A boxer.

Lukey-boy got it.

Lukey-boy got it.

I know, I've heard nearly every riddle in this thread a hundred times or more. I'm trying to think of alternate answers.

I know, I've heard nearly every riddle in this thread a hundred times or more. I'm trying to think of alternate answers.

Interesting. Good luck with that

I don't really have a riddle but I have a funny story/joke. :3

Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell. The devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks, "Isn't it hot enough for you?" They reply, "'Well, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit eh". The devil decides they aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, there they are, still in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?" Again they reply, "Well, like we told ya, we're from Canada, land of ice and snow, and we're just happy for a chance to warm up a little, eh." This gets the devil steamed up. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming. He finds the two Canadians in light jackets, grilling sausages and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two Canadians reply, "We don't get much warm weather in Toronto. We've just got to have a cook-out when the weather is THIS nice." The devil is furious, and decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, icicles are everywhere, people are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles. He finds the two Canadians back in their parkas, toques and mittens. But now they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men! The Devil is dumbfounded. "When I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?" The two guys from Toronto look at the devil in surprise, "Don't you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup.

Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell. The devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks, "Isn't it hot enough for you?" They reply, "'Well, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit eh". The devil decides they aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, there they are, still in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?" Again they reply, "Well, like we told ya, we're from Canada, land of ice and snow, and we're just happy for a chance to warm up a little, eh." This gets the devil steamed up. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming. He finds the two Canadians in light jackets, grilling sausages and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two Canadians reply, "We don't get much warm weather in Toronto. We've just got to have a cook-out when the weather is THIS nice." The devil is furious, and decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, icicles are everywhere, people are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles. He finds the two Canadians back in their parkas, toques and mittens. But now they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men! The Devil is dumbfounded. "When I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?" The two guys from Toronto look at the devil in surprise, "Don't you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup.

Lololololol

Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell. The devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks, "Isn't it hot enough for you?" They reply, "'Well, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit eh". The devil decides they aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, there they are, still in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?" Again they reply, "Well, like we told ya, we're from Canada, land of ice and snow, and we're just happy for a chance to warm up a little, eh." This gets the devil steamed up. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming. He finds the two Canadians in light jackets, grilling sausages and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two Canadians reply, "We don't get much warm weather in Toronto. We've just got to have a cook-out when the weather is THIS nice." The devil is furious, and decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, icicles are everywhere, people are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles. He finds the two Canadians back in their parkas, toques and mittens. But now they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men! The Devil is dumbfounded. "When I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?" The two guys from Toronto look at the devil in surprise, "Don't you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup.

Ahahaaa

Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell. The devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks, "Isn't it hot enough for you?" They reply, "'Well, we're from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit eh". The devil decides they aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, there they are, still in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?" Again they reply, "Well, like we told ya, we're from Canada, land of ice and snow, and we're just happy for a chance to warm up a little, eh." This gets the devil steamed up. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming. He finds the two Canadians in light jackets, grilling sausages and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two Canadians reply, "We don't get much warm weather in Toronto. We've just got to have a cook-out when the weather is THIS nice." The devil is furious, and decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, icicles are everywhere, people are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles. He finds the two Canadians back in their parkas, toques and mittens. But now they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men! The Devil is dumbfounded. "When I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?" The two guys from Toronto look at the devil in surprise, "Don't you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup.

>mfw

YouTube

Spoiler

YouTube

How do you know what Canadian Alcatraz looks like?? :0

Spoiler

YouTube

The thing is he would be back by bedtime though.

OP riddle #3:
A man went to the store to pick up something. 3 would cost 25 cents. 36 would cost 50 cents. 360 would cost 75 cents. What is he buying?

Numbers?
Like for a front door or something.

How do you know what Canadian Alcatraz looks like?? :0

They let me inside.