"Omit needless words." - best thing anyone has ever said

---

"i am absolutely certain"

stop saying this
all you need to say is that you're "certain"
because to be "inabsolutely" certain would be an oxymoron
certainty already implies absoluteness

i'm guilty of doing this one all the time, and it annoys me

"and as an added bonus..."

a "bonus" is something that is added to a finished product, usually as a gift
so you don't need to say "added" bonus--we already know that shit, you fluffy fuck

"end result"

oh my god i hate this one
END RESULT?
as opposed to what? the beginning result? fuck you

"suddenly..."

the word "suddenly" has to be, by far, my least favorite word in english
not only is it redundant--it's just a lazy cliche used by shitty writers who can't develop tension for their life

what's that? coming up with some alternate method to surprise your reader sounds like too much work?
just slap the word "suddenly" on that bitch for some quick, easy suspense

if i'm feeling lazy, sometimes i'll do this--i'm guilty
but i don't try to pass it off like it's good writing or anything--it's terrible

what sounds better to you
"it suddenly exploded," or
"it exploded"

explosions are, by definition, sudden--so being told that the explosion was sudden, rather than just allowing us to infer it for ourselves, just slows the action down a little bit, when explosions are supposed to be alarming and fast-paced

so never use the word "suddenly" in any of your creative works
it's boring and makes you look bad

It suddenly occurred to me, Verb that, you sir, HATE WORDS, I am absolutely certain this is the case and I think you need to calm down, sir...

and as an added bonus... I have a feeling you're actually a very nice person inside and you love us all and our words, suddenly I have a feeling you actually love this site the most, even more so than 4chins
end result!!!

we love u 2

i am absolutely certain that this will suddenly have a bonus end result.

xDDDD

lay funay maymay

>no hate reply


i have lived a good life friends

NEEEEEERRRRRRDDDDD

Irregardless

"Same difference"

i personally have a thesaurus open on at all times when i take part in debates on sep7agon so even if my argument isn't very strong at least i'm articulate. 

/s

i can't remember the last time i used a thesaurus

i just know some words, brah

"safety deposit box"

"Free gifts"

If an acronym has system, test, etc... in it and someone says system, test, etc... after the acronym I get a little annoyed.

"End result"

I SUDDENLY saw the end result as me not giving a fuck

Multi-step processes can have multiple results.
Step 1 results in something that allows Step 2 to proceed to produce the final, or "end" result.

obviously

you can find loopholes around any of these, but the point is that nobody uses it like that