Tomorrow I go back to college. I didn't bother to look at anything on Blackboard because that's for pussies. So anyway I went to class and saw this smoking hot girl I met a few years ago. Now here's where it gets good.

About 2 years ago, I went camping with my parents and my parent's friends/their family. This girl I mentioned is their daughter. She was shy initially but I'm so fucking alpha that she immediately fell for me and I banged her the same night we met. Got her number like a pro and we started dating. It wasn't my first time dating and it definitely wasn't the first time I had been out with a girl by myself. I mean, who hasn't been out with a girl by themselves before? Fucking amateurs, that's who. Our parents didn't approve but I didn't give a shit. We ended up having a great year or so together before I left her to join the army so I could kill some fucking terrorists.

So it's been two years and we now have the same class. Oh, and not any class. A lab course where people have to work with each other to complete assignments. Does that sound daunting? Of course not. I'm not a fucking loser. Anyway, I'm gonna probably pair up with her and most likely bang her bent over the lab table like a fucking pro.

Questions?

You really like cocks, right?

Hell yeah.

I hope you get hit by a car one day and die.

How are you this butt-flustered over a bunch of fucking jokes?