So I was talking with my dad the other day about all sorts of things--mostly life, childhood, purpose, that sort of thing--and at one point, death was brought up, because my dad's health has been in decline as of late. I think he worries too much, but it's hard to deny that his age is catching up with him a little bit.

Anyway, he made it clear during this conversation that, whenever he does pass away, he wants me to have all his most precious possessions and everything he's ever spent time collecting--records, Star Wars merch, Hotwheels, baseball cards, his Malibu--and that I could "do whatever I want with them." Basically, he's under the impression that I'd sell them for money when he dies.

I don't know about you, but I couldn't possibly fathom doing something like that, even if I absolutely needed to. Not only would that be highly disrespectful in my eyes--it would be an insult to his memory. When it comes time for my dad to pass, those things would be all I'd have left of him--I wouldn't sell them for anything. I told him this, and he basically said something to the effect of, "Well, if I'm dead, I probably won't be caring too much, eh?"

My dad's always been somewhat of a nihilist when it comes to death. He genuinely wouldn't care what I'd do with all his old stuff. Still, I don't think I could do it. What would you do? I won't be surprised if I'm the only one who feels this way.

Your dad sounds like a cool dude

Don't bury yourself in his stuff.
That's not emotionally healthy.

I don't really get the whole "this guy's possession's are all I have left of him" thing, my memory of my father would be more important than his stuff.

Granted, my dad's not hugely into collecting and besides his money, I'd basically be inheriting a few old computers, his Ipad, and a wristwatch. Assuming my brother or mother don't want to hold onto them.

I don't really get the whole "this guy's possession's are all I have left of him" thing, my memory of my father would be more important than his stuff.

Granted, my dad's not hugely into collecting and besides his money, I'd basically be inheriting a few old computers, his Ipad, and a wristwatch. Assuming my brother or mother don't want to hold onto them.

Memories are dandy, but I dunno, some people are a little more hands-on than that. Tactile memorabilia keeps the individual alive not only in memory, but as a physical vessel from which I can derive somatic value. In other words, it's not so much the Malibu itself, but who the Malibu represents. Who it came from. How it got here.

It's hard to explain.

Nobody's ever really slated me to be the caretaker of possessions before. The closest thing I can think of would be when I was written in on my sister's will. Should her and her husband pass away at the same time I would become the legal guardian of my niece and the owner of their property until my niece turned 18.

They entrusted the property to me since minors can't own property and pay the bills and so on. And because I would honour their wishes in keeping the property nice. No cut down trees for farmland or stuff like that.

As far as possessions though, interesting question. I've had to sell or ditch personal belongings of meaning before. It's not exactly easy to do. But it has taught me not to hang on to things when they become cumbersome. I honestly can't really say for sure.

I don't think I'd sell possessions for a quick buck. But if I had to let them go, I could. The only exception to the rule is if they explicitely asked me to keep them. I try to hold honour to words if people need my help with something.

I'll keep stuff of my mum's that is a part of who she is. That's actually a lot of stuff. She likes stuff.

I know how you feel. To be honest, I have to be given a big responsibility of land in Mexico that my family owns. It's basically farmland and I need to do paperwork for it because it goes to the son, not the daughter, who is older than me. I don't want to sell it, but I feel like it'll be a huge burden on me because I don't want kids to keep the land going on, and my grandpa trusted us to use it for ourselves.

As for your situation, keep some things, give the other stuff to trusted family members who'd love to remember your dad when the time comes, selling it would just be, really sucky

Quote from: Naru on October 18, 2016, 02:15:16 AM

I know how you feel. To be honest, I have to be given a big responsibility of land in Mexico that my family owns. It's basically farmland and I need to do paperwork for it because it goes to the son, not the daughter, who is older than me. I don't want to sell it, but I feel like it'll be a huge burden on me because I don't want kids to keep the land going on, and my grandpa trusted us to use it for ourselves.

As for your situation, keep some things, give the other stuff to trusted family members who'd love to remember your dad when the time comes, selling it would just be, really sucky

Lease out the land to cartels and grow a drug empire with it

If only the cartels operated in the town the land is in

Wow...Verb, that's really cool of you tbh.

What can I say? I respect my family. It's interesting hearing other perspectives on it, though.

I think I would keep some of it, but I would also give some of it to other family members (and possibly close family friends) that would also appreciate having something of his.

like others have said, i wouldn't keep every last thing

I'm in a similar position but with differing views.

My grandfather is in terrible condition and is staring death in the eyes. With my dad already gone, he wants me to inherit a watch that's been passed down for generations. It's like worth $50k or something like that, it's really ancient. Problem is, I don't want it. If I was forced to have it, I wont sell it, but with the way I live, it wont be kept in the pristine condition it's in now. Furthermore, I fully intend to take the wife's last name when I get married but neither of my strict BLOODLINE grandparents know that and they would disown me if they found that out. I already told my sister that she should have it when he does die because she's much more caring about familial possessions than I am, but we agreed only me, her, and our mom can know about her having it afterwards.

Am I in the wrong for doing this?

Just curious... why do you want to take the woman's last name?


also I'm sorry about your grandfather's declining health

Part of me is spiteful against my grandparents for being pushy about my love life. The last few years they always start up our meetings with "Where's the GF?" and "When are you getting married?" "We want grandchildren." and that would be the ultimate way to get back at them for trying to control my life. The other side of me believes if the would-be father/mother in law wasn't that fond of me, the act would be a sort of peace-offering since I don't carry any real sentiments over a simple last name even if they might.

I'm the only grandson with the last name in a family that cares too much about something so medieval.

Just curious... why do you want to take the woman's last name?


also I'm sorry about your grandfather's declining health

Part of me is spiteful against my grandparents for being pushy about my love life. The last few years they always start up our meetings with "Where's the GF?" and "When are you getting married?" "We want grandchildren." and that would be the ultimate way to get back at them for trying to control my life.

Actually, the ultimate way to get back at them would be to not get married or have children. Why would they care if your family name is lost?

Like, I kinda see where you're coming from, but not really. At least you're okay with shattering silly traditions.

Nvm, I didn't see your first post initially.