Perfect Grammar Thread

The wether[1] in south[2] Florida is swellydellyjingjangAboop[3].

[1] "Weather."
[2] I'd capitalize "South," because you're referring to the area of South Florida.
[3] I think you meant "swell" there.

Also, is spelling something wrong incorrect,[1] grammar?

[1] Bad comma usage.

Grammar and spelling are technically two different beasts, but I file them both together, because the whole idea of proper grammar is to make your thoughts as consolidated, succinct, and coherent as possible. Having poor spelling tends to make your sentence a little less clear.

I don't know what to say so I'm just going to post a parable.

A man traveling across a field encountered a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little started to gnaw away the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!

It is a terribly hot winter.

The weather has been fairly decent the last couple of days here in South Jersey. I actually had to turn my fan on because it was getting a little hot and stuffy in my room.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know[1] I graduated top[2] of my class in the Navy Seals, and[3] I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla[4] warfare[5] and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has[6] never been seen before on this Earth,[7][8] mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA[9] and your IP is being traced right now[10] so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred[11] ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps[12] and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

[1] The word "that" should be here, I think.
[2] You graduated at the top of your class.
[3] You don't need this "and," because you keep listing things later on.
[4] "Guerrilla."
[5] I don't think you need a comma here, but I'd put one anyway.
[6] "Have."
[7] Comma splice.
[8] I don't think you need to capitalize "earth" there.
[9] Again, I'd put a comma here, but I guess it's not totally necessary.
[10] Comma.
[11] Be consistent. Earlier, you used "300," so now, you should use "700."
[12] This doesn't need to be spelled out; "USMC" works.

That copypasta isn't terribly written, actually.

IT'S BLOODY COLD, INIT MATE?

Week, sucks?

really?[1] That just looks weird.

[1] Capitalization.

No, no--I meant the first "week."

If you notice, I have the numbers typed within your text as well, and they correspond precisely with my edits.

Anyway, it should read like:
"Exam week, so this week sucks. The only good thing about it will be when break starts up on Friday."

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.

but it wuz da joos, rite?

Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.

I don't know what to say[1] so I'm just going to post a parable.

A man traveling across a field encountered[2] a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him[3]. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of[4] a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at[5] him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little[6] started to gnaw away [7] the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!

[1] Comma.
[2] "Encounters." Subject/verb agreement.
[3] The tiger what after him? "Chased", presumably.
[4] "The root of" is a little wordy and superfluous. You could just say he caught hold of the wild vine.
[5] Usually, you don't sniff "at" things--you sniff for them. It's an awkward phrasing.
[6] Comma.
[7] They gnawed away at the vine, I hope.

That's a neat little thing you wrote. I like strawberries.

Fuck that fucking fuck.

but[1] it wuz[2] da[3] joos[4], rite[5]?

[1] Capitalize "But." Some say you're not supposed to begin sentences with words like "and" and "but," but I disagree.
[2] Misspelled "was."
[3] Misspelled "the."
[4] Misspelled "Jews."
[5] Misspelled "right."

Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.[1]

[1] The sentence is, "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."

I'm sure there's other variations, but the trick is to use the city of Buffalo (which is capitalized) to extend it further. Only one of your buffaloes is capitalized, so I can't make much sense of the sentence.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know[1] I graduated top[2] of my class in the Navy Seals, and[3] I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla[4] warfare[5] and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has[6] never been seen before on this Earth,[7][8] mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA[9] and your IP is being traced right now[10] so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred[11] ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps[12] and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

[1] The word "that" should be here, I think.
[2] You graduated at the top of your class.
[3] You don't need this "and," because you keep listing things later on.
[4] "Guerrilla."
[5] I don't think you need a comma here, but I'd put one anyway.
[6] "Have."
[7] Comma splice.
[8] I don't think you need to capitalize "earth" there.
[9] Again, I'd put a comma here, but I guess it's not totally necessary.
[10] Comma.
[11] Be consistent. Earlier, you used "300," so now, you should use "700."
[12] This doesn't need to be spelled out; "USMC" works.

That copypasta isn't terribly written, actually.

300 confirmed kills =/= 700 ways to kill a man.

I don't know what to say[1] so I'm just going to post a parable.

A man traveling across a field encountered[2] a tiger. He fled, the tiger after him[3]. Coming to a precipice, he caught hold of the root of[4] a wild vine and swung himself down over the edge. The tiger sniffed at[5] him from above. Trembling, the man looked down to where, far below, another tiger was waiting to eat him. Only the vine sustained him.

Two mice, one white and one black, little by little[6] started to gnaw away [7] the vine. The man saw a luscious strawberry near him. Grasping the vine with one hand, he plucked the strawberry with the other. How sweet it tasted!

[1] Comma.
[2] "Encounters." Subject/verb agreement.
[3] The tiger what after him? "Chased", presumably.
[4] "The root of" is a little wordy and superfluous. You could just say he caught hold of the wild vine.
[5] Usually, you don't sniff "at" things--you sniff for them. It's an awkward phrasing.
[6] Comma.
[7] They gnawed away at the vine, I hope.

That's a neat little thing you wrote. I like strawberries.

I didn't write it, personally. It's a zen koan.

300 confirmed kills =/= 700 ways to kill a man.

That's not what I said. "Seven hundred" was spelled out, but "300" was typed as a numeral.

I realize they're different figures, but the way in which the figures were presented was inconsistent.

I didn't write it, personally. It's a zen[1] koan.

[1] "Zen" is capitalized.
[2] "Kōan" has a macron above the "o."

Oh, okay.

300 confirmed kills =/= 700 ways to kill a man.

That's not what I said. "Seven hundred" was spelled out, but "300" was typed as a numeral.

I realize they're different figures, but the way in which the figures were presented was inconsistent.

Oh. My bad, blood. My bad.

Not even sure why I grammar checked it, to be honest. I'm so bored.

I hereby affirm that I, Verbatim, by correcting the spelling and grammar of this post in a reply, am a cock-sucking faggot, and I will stop at nothing to suck ass many cocks as I possibly can.

I hereby affirm that I, Verbatim, by correcting the spelling and grammar of this post in a reply, am a cock-sucking faggot, and I will stop at nothing to suck ass[1] many cocks as I possibly can.

[1] *as

I hereby affirm that I, Verbatim, by correcting the spelling and grammar of this post in a reply, am a cock-sucking faggot, and I will stop at nothing to suck ass[1] many cocks as I possibly can.

[1] *as

i felt like i was about to see a new grade when i opened this thread. im satisfied

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Ic nāh geweald gif ēow lufie mīn wanfāh pintel.


ok?

I wonder how Verbatim will handle his mid life crisis

It's a good thing this isn't a perfect logic thread.

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Verb-sama notice me pls!!!!

Will Will Smith smith?

Will Smith will smith.

Indeed, when Will Smith has the will to smith, there is nothing that can stop him.

Fo shizzle master rizzle.