So I'm out with the Lads on the town, having an absolutely top notch time until about two, when George says he's hungry and wants to go to KFC. Now George is a top lad, but Mikey Gove is just the Archbishop of Banterbury with a PhD in Bantology, and he gets us a dead fucking pig to roast. That's some good fucking banter but it gets better because my mate Mikey, joking obvs, tells Dave to fuck the pig cause we know he's into the big birds but he actually went and done it the fucking madman.
So it's fresher's week at Uni...