Need some advice.

Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 06:34:32 AM

So I'll try to make this quick; there's a girl I've known for just over a year. We've sort of had something going on, and I've let go of side bitches. We are currently just 'friends' as I've told her I don't want her more than that for now, 'benefits' still exist though for some reason. Anyway, we get along well. I've caught her out on a lot of lies before and generally she seems to become more honest every time. I hope she's finally reached the point of complete honesty with me, but I'm not sure. A few weeks ago I caught her getting her tits out for some guy on Skype, and I was disappointed. She says she loves me and only wants me, and it was just a stupid mistake. What do you guys think? Not just about that situation, do you think people can ever truly change or shake bad habits? Be honest, it doesn't matter if I have to lose her.

Dustin · January 19, 2015, 06:40:49 AM

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Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 06:44:15 AM

Quote from: Dustin xLilD on January 19, 2015, 06:40:49 AM

I've never been attracted to dumb girls. Not sure if that's what your girlfriend is, (though most people are going to claim that the one they love isn't dumb), but she doesn't profile as a smart girl. Sure dumb girls might not be socially awkward but they'll probably cheat, lie, and play games with you all the way up to your divorce.

She isn't my girlfriend, just someone that can be a substitute I suppose. And I will not marry her. She has realised that she can't lie to me anymore, it seems. I told her if she tells me one more lie (about anything), that I will never speak to her again. She seemed upset and agreed, but I'm not sure if that means she will be honest or if that means she'll just try harder to hide things from me. Do you think people can change?

Dustin · January 19, 2015, 06:45:21 AM

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Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 06:48:41 AM

Quote from: Dustin xLilD on January 19, 2015, 06:45:21 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 06:44:15 AM
Quote from: Dustin xLilD on January 19, 2015, 06:40:49 AM
I've never been attracted to dumb girls. Not sure if that's what your girlfriend is, (though most people are going to claim that the one they love isn't dumb), but she doesn't profile as a smart girl. Sure dumb girls might not be socially awkward but they'll probably cheat, lie, and play games with you all the way up to your divorce.
Do you think people can change?
How old is she?

She's 18, and I know that's not old enough for her to be mature.

Elegiac · January 19, 2015, 06:50:55 AM

Sounds like you already have a handle on what you want to do.

DAS B00T x2 · January 19, 2015, 06:53:10 AM

Well OP, what do you want from her?

Dustin · January 19, 2015, 06:57:02 AM

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Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 07:03:42 AM

Quote from: Elegiac on January 19, 2015, 06:50:55 AM

Sounds like you already have a handle on what you want to do.

I'm not lost for options or having a hard time deciding something, I know I will only give her what she deserves.

ExodusMae · January 19, 2015, 07:03:46 AM

No way, man. That's no go territory if you're looking for a relationship. Talk to her again in a couple of years when she's grown up some.

EDIT: Just read that she's 18. If she's 18 and doing stupid shit like flashing her titties on Skype then I think leaving it for a few years would be a waste of time. She's not worth it and she won't stay faithful. You can try but I guarentee it'll just end in you getting hurt.

Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 07:04:52 AM

Quote from: Dustin xLilD on January 19, 2015, 06:57:02 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 06:48:41 AM
Quote from: Dustin xLilD on January 19, 2015, 06:45:21 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 06:44:15 AM
Quote from: Dustin xLilD on January 19, 2015, 06:40:49 AM
I've never been attracted to dumb girls. Not sure if that's what your girlfriend is, (though most people are going to claim that the one they love isn't dumb), but she doesn't profile as a smart girl. Sure dumb girls might not be socially awkward but they'll probably cheat, lie, and play games with you all the way up to your divorce.
Do you think people can change?
How old is she?
She's 18, and I know that's not old enough for her to be mature.
Her personality likely won't change once she reaches her early twenties. As far as the lying goes, all I can say is that if they're still lying when they're 18, they'll probably lie until they're dead. That really just comes from personal experience though. I think lying is just a personality trait, and the longer they let it sit the harder it is change. And unless she really loves you, I sincerely doubt she's being honest about trying to change. If you want to know if she's being truthful you ought to assess your relationship and understand how close she really is to you. Because no one is going to change for someone else unless they truly love that someone else.

It seems like she really does love me that much.

Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 07:06:44 AM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 06:53:10 AM

Well OP, what do you want from her?

There's nothing specific I seek from her. She does often make me happy though. I suppose I could just use her as company and a fuck buddy but that lacks substance and I don't see the point if that's all it will be. I want to give her some sort of a chance again but I don't know if it will be wasted or not.

Dustin · January 19, 2015, 07:07:30 AM

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Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 07:08:20 AM

Quote from: ExodusMae on January 19, 2015, 07:03:46 AM

No way, man. That's no go territory if you're looking for a relationship. Talk to her again in a couple of years when she's grown up some.

EDIT: Just read that she's 18. If she's 18 and doing stupid shit like flashing her titties on Skype then I think leaving it for a few years would be a waste of time. She's not worth it and she won't stay faithful. You can try but I guarentee it'll just end in you getting hurt.

I won't be getting hurt, since I won't have much difficulty getting rid of her. I don't need her, but address the general question. Once a snake, always a snake?

Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 07:09:32 AM

Quote from: Dustin xLilD on January 19, 2015, 07:07:30 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:04:52 AM
Quote from: Dustin xLilD on January 19, 2015, 06:57:02 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 06:48:41 AM
Quote from: Dustin xLilD on January 19, 2015, 06:45:21 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 06:44:15 AM
Quote from: Dustin xLilD on January 19, 2015, 06:40:49 AM
I've never been attracted to dumb girls. Not sure if that's what your girlfriend is, (though most people are going to claim that the one they love isn't dumb), but she doesn't profile as a smart girl. Sure dumb girls might not be socially awkward but they'll probably cheat, lie, and play games with you all the way up to your divorce.
Do you think people can change?
How old is she?
She's 18, and I know that's not old enough for her to be mature.
Her personality likely won't change once she reaches her early twenties. As far as the lying goes, all I can say is that if they're still lying when they're 18, they'll probably lie until they're dead. That really just comes from personal experience though. I think lying is just a personality trait, and the longer they let it sit the harder it is change. And unless she really loves you, I sincerely doubt she's being honest about trying to change. If you want to know if she's being truthful you ought to assess your relationship and understand how close she really is to you. Because no one is going to change for someone else unless they truly love that someone else.
It seems like she really does love me that much.
If you really think so then you should probably just run with it and see how things ago. Just don't be surprised if you're still with her a few months from now and you start catching her in lies again.

Nah that would be too many chances for me to give if she did it again. It seems like all young girls are liars at heart though, you just need to teach them sometimes.

Elegiac · January 19, 2015, 07:11:33 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:03:42 AM

Quote from: Elegiac on January 19, 2015, 06:50:55 AM
Sounds like you already have a handle on what you want to do.
I'm not lost for options or having a hard time deciding something, I know I will only give her what she deserves.

You just wanted to blow off steam, or chat? Fair enough.

As for myself, I don't usually lack for options either. I don't play with my food though; waste not, want not, or something like that. I'm sorta unique and it's too easy for a girl to get seriously attached, whereas it's sorta hard for me to get attached. Too easy for them to get attached, and I don't like hurting people. So I just keep my own company most of the time and aim for... I don't know what. I know it when I see it though. A couple of interesting specimens have escaped my grasp

and the one major girl, she seems to always escape me, sometimes through my own stupidity and sometimes through bad timing.

ExodusMae · January 19, 2015, 07:15:42 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:08:20 AM

Quote from: ExodusMae on January 19, 2015, 07:03:46 AM
No way, man. That's no go territory if you're looking for a relationship. Talk to her again in a couple of years when she's grown up some.

EDIT: Just read that she's 18. If she's 18 and doing stupid shit like flashing her titties on Skype then I think leaving it for a few years would be a waste of time. She's not worth it and she won't stay faithful. You can try but I guarentee it'll just end in you getting hurt.
I won't be getting hurt, since I won't have much difficulty getting rid of her. I don't need her, but address the general question. Once a snake, always a snake?

If she's 18 and behaving like this, she isn't likely to change. If she does try to change it'll take her years to unlearn filthy thinking and behaviour. I know because I acted like this when I was 15. I was a bit of a skank and I'm glad I took the time and effort to notice that I was trying to make people happy and seeking attention in all the wrong ways.
I'm 19 now, been in a relationship for 3+ years and haven't so much as looked at another person. Let alone the flirting and scandalous behaviour I displayed pre-Batch.
Long story short, she'll only change when she finds a reason to. And if you're not 100% interested in her and are already thinking "It'll be easy to get rid of her." Then I hope for her sake that you're not her reason to change. Because from what you've said you also don't seem worth changing for.

Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 07:19:57 AM

Quote from: Elegiac on January 19, 2015, 07:11:33 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:03:42 AM
Quote from: Elegiac on January 19, 2015, 06:50:55 AM
Sounds like you already have a handle on what you want to do.
I'm not lost for options or having a hard time deciding something, I know I will only give her what she deserves.
You just wanted to blow off steam, or chat? Fair enough.

As for myself, I don't usually lack for options either. I don't play with my food though; waste not, want not, or something like that. I'm sorta unique and it's too easy for a girl to get seriously attached, whereas it's sorta hard for me to get attached. Too easy for them to get attached, and I don't like hurting people. So I just keep my own company most of the time and aim for... I don't know what. I know it when I see it though. A couple of interesting specimens have escaped my grasp and the one major girl, she seems to always escape me, sometimes through my own stupidity and sometimes through bad timing.

Same with me. I don't really get attached but a lot of females seem to want my company.
Some escape, but you just get over it I suppose.

Elegiac · January 19, 2015, 07:21:34 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:19:57 AM

Quote from: Elegiac on January 19, 2015, 07:11:33 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:03:42 AM
Quote from: Elegiac on January 19, 2015, 06:50:55 AM
Sounds like you already have a handle on what you want to do.
I'm not lost for options or having a hard time deciding something, I know I will only give her what she deserves.
You just wanted to blow off steam, or chat? Fair enough.

As for myself, I don't usually lack for options either. I don't play with my food though; waste not, want not, or something like that. I'm sorta unique and it's too easy for a girl to get seriously attached, whereas it's sorta hard for me to get attached. Too easy for them to get attached, and I don't like hurting people. So I just keep my own company most of the time and aim for... I don't know what. I know it when I see it though. A couple of interesting specimens have escaped my grasp and the one major girl, she seems to always escape me, sometimes through my own stupidity and sometimes through bad timing.
Some escape, but you just get over it I suppose.

Mm. Most of the time.

Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 07:23:44 AM

Quote from: ExodusMae on January 19, 2015, 07:15:42 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:08:20 AM
Quote from: ExodusMae on January 19, 2015, 07:03:46 AM
No way, man. That's no go territory if you're looking for a relationship. Talk to her again in a couple of years when she's grown up some.

EDIT: Just read that she's 18. If she's 18 and doing stupid shit like flashing her titties on Skype then I think leaving it for a few years would be a waste of time. She's not worth it and she won't stay faithful. You can try but I guarentee it'll just end in you getting hurt.
I won't be getting hurt, since I won't have much difficulty getting rid of her. I don't need her, but address the general question. Once a snake, always a snake?

If she's 18 and behaving like this, she isn't likely to change. If she does try to change it'll take her years to unlearn filthy thinking and behaviour. I know because I acted like this when I was 15. I was a bit of a skank and I'm glad I took the time and effort to notice that I was trying to make people happy and seeking attention in all the wrong ways.
I'm 19 now, been in a relationship for 3+ years and haven't so much as looked at another person. Let alone the flirting and scandalous behaviour I displayed pre-Batch.
Long story short, she'll only change when she finds a reason to. And if you're not 100% interested in her and are already thinking "It'll be easy to get rid of her." Then I hope for her sake that you're not her reason to change. Because from what you've said you also don't seem worth changing for.

I don't think you have sufficient information to make a judgement on me. You don't realise how much time and chances I've given. And as I said, she seems to have progressively gotten better, so I'm just wondering if it will be all good or nah.

ExodusMae · January 19, 2015, 07:29:40 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:23:44 AM

Quote from: ExodusMae on January 19, 2015, 07:15:42 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:08:20 AM
Quote from: ExodusMae on January 19, 2015, 07:03:46 AM
No way, man. That's no go territory if you're looking for a relationship. Talk to her again in a couple of years when she's grown up some.

EDIT: Just read that she's 18. If she's 18 and doing stupid shit like flashing her titties on Skype then I think leaving it for a few years would be a waste of time. She's not worth it and she won't stay faithful. You can try but I guarentee it'll just end in you getting hurt.
I won't be getting hurt, since I won't have much difficulty getting rid of her. I don't need her, but address the general question. Once a snake, always a snake?

If she's 18 and behaving like this, she isn't likely to change. If she does try to change it'll take her years to unlearn filthy thinking and behaviour. I know because I acted like this when I was 15. I was a bit of a skank and I'm glad I took the time and effort to notice that I was trying to make people happy and seeking attention in all the wrong ways.
I'm 19 now, been in a relationship for 3+ years and haven't so much as looked at another person. Let alone the flirting and scandalous behaviour I displayed pre-Batch.
Long story short, she'll only change when she finds a reason to. And if you're not 100% interested in her and are already thinking "It'll be easy to get rid of her." Then I hope for her sake that you're not her reason to change. Because from what you've said you also don't seem worth changing for.
I don't think you have sufficient information to make a judgement on me. You don't realise how much time and chances I've given. And as I said, she seems to have progressively gotten better, so I'm just wondering if it will be all good or nah.

I'm going off information you're posting on a thread. If you want to be seen as a better person you need a filter on your thoughts in regards to disposing of her. Personally, I think it would be a wasted effort if you're after a serious relationship. But if you don't mind having her flirt with other people and be flashing herself on skype or lying to you frequently then go for it.

Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 07:34:26 AM

Quote from: ExodusMae on January 19, 2015, 07:29:40 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:23:44 AM
Quote from: ExodusMae on January 19, 2015, 07:15:42 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:08:20 AM
Quote from: ExodusMae on January 19, 2015, 07:03:46 AM
No way, man. That's no go territory if you're looking for a relationship. Talk to her again in a couple of years when she's grown up some.

EDIT: Just read that she's 18. If she's 18 and doing stupid shit like flashing her titties on Skype then I think leaving it for a few years would be a waste of time. She's not worth it and she won't stay faithful. You can try but I guarentee it'll just end in you getting hurt.
I won't be getting hurt, since I won't have much difficulty getting rid of her. I don't need her, but address the general question. Once a snake, always a snake?

If she's 18 and behaving like this, she isn't likely to change. If she does try to change it'll take her years to unlearn filthy thinking and behaviour. I know because I acted like this when I was 15. I was a bit of a skank and I'm glad I took the time and effort to notice that I was trying to make people happy and seeking attention in all the wrong ways.
I'm 19 now, been in a relationship for 3+ years and haven't so much as looked at another person. Let alone the flirting and scandalous behaviour I displayed pre-Batch.
Long story short, she'll only change when she finds a reason to. And if you're not 100% interested in her and are already thinking "It'll be easy to get rid of her." Then I hope for her sake that you're not her reason to change. Because from what you've said you also don't seem worth changing for.
I don't think you have sufficient information to make a judgement on me. You don't realise how much time and chances I've given. And as I said, she seems to have progressively gotten better, so I'm just wondering if it will be all good or nah.

I'm going off information you're posting on a thread. If you want to be seen as a better person you need a filter on your thoughts in regards to disposing of her. Personally, I think it would be a wasted effort if you're after a serious relationship. But if you don't mind having her flirt with other people and be flashing herself on skype or lying to you frequently then go for it.

Dishonesty is the main thing I hate, she can make her own choices. I do have to state that she had some sort of reasonings for things she did. There have been improvements even since that Skype thing, but I think she was desperate for some attention or something back then.

DAS B00T x2 · January 19, 2015, 07:38:59 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:06:44 AM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 06:53:10 AM
Well OP, what do you want from her?
There's nothing specific I seek from her. She does often make me happy though. I suppose I could just use her as company and a fuck buddy but that lacks substance and I don't see the point if that's all it will be. I want to give her some sort of a chance again but I don't know if it will be wasted or not.

Well if you're not committed, why should she be?

Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 07:40:34 AM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 07:38:59 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:06:44 AM
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 06:53:10 AM
Well OP, what do you want from her?
There's nothing specific I seek from her. She does often make me happy though. I suppose I could just use her as company and a fuck buddy but that lacks substance and I don't see the point if that's all it will be. I want to give her some sort of a chance again but I don't know if it will be wasted or not.
Well if you're not committed, why should she be?

Because I have been, and she is the one who has to make up for it now. She knows that.

DAS B00T x2 · January 19, 2015, 07:41:26 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:40:34 AM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 07:38:59 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:06:44 AM
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 06:53:10 AM
Well OP, what do you want from her?
There's nothing specific I seek from her. She does often make me happy though. I suppose I could just use her as company and a fuck buddy but that lacks substance and I don't see the point if that's all it will be. I want to give her some sort of a chance again but I don't know if it will be wasted or not.
Well if you're not committed, why should she be?
Because I have been, and she is the one who has to make up for it now. She knows that.

Did you make it clear that you were?

ExodusMae · January 19, 2015, 07:44:33 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:34:26 AM

Quote from: ExodusMae on January 19, 2015, 07:29:40 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:23:44 AM
Quote from: ExodusMae on January 19, 2015, 07:15:42 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:08:20 AM
Quote from: ExodusMae on January 19, 2015, 07:03:46 AM
No way, man. That's no go territory if you're looking for a relationship. Talk to her again in a couple of years when she's grown up some.

EDIT: Just read that she's 18. If she's 18 and doing stupid shit like flashing her titties on Skype then I think leaving it for a few years would be a waste of time. She's not worth it and she won't stay faithful. You can try but I guarentee it'll just end in you getting hurt.
I won't be getting hurt, since I won't have much difficulty getting rid of her. I don't need her, but address the general question. Once a snake, always a snake?

If she's 18 and behaving like this, she isn't likely to change. If she does try to change it'll take her years to unlearn filthy thinking and behaviour. I know because I acted like this when I was 15. I was a bit of a skank and I'm glad I took the time and effort to notice that I was trying to make people happy and seeking attention in all the wrong ways.
I'm 19 now, been in a relationship for 3+ years and haven't so much as looked at another person. Let alone the flirting and scandalous behaviour I displayed pre-Batch.
Long story short, she'll only change when she finds a reason to. And if you're not 100% interested in her and are already thinking "It'll be easy to get rid of her." Then I hope for her sake that you're not her reason to change. Because from what you've said you also don't seem worth changing for.
I don't think you have sufficient information to make a judgement on me. You don't realise how much time and chances I've given. And as I said, she seems to have progressively gotten better, so I'm just wondering if it will be all good or nah.

I'm going off information you're posting on a thread. If you want to be seen as a better person you need a filter on your thoughts in regards to disposing of her. Personally, I think it would be a wasted effort if you're after a serious relationship. But if you don't mind having her flirt with other people and be flashing herself on skype or lying to you frequently then go for it.
Dishonesty is the main thing I hate, she can make her own choices. I do have to state that she had some sort of reasonings for things she did. There have been improvements even since that Skype thing, but I think she was desperate for some attention or something back then.

The attention thing will never wane off. She'll always want it. She just needs to go about the right ways of getting it.
Also, if she's not meeting you exactly half way then you'd probably be carrying the relationship and that can become exhausting.

Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 07:46:37 AM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 07:41:26 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:40:34 AM
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 07:38:59 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:06:44 AM
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 06:53:10 AM
Well OP, what do you want from her?
There's nothing specific I seek from her. She does often make me happy though. I suppose I could just use her as company and a fuck buddy but that lacks substance and I don't see the point if that's all it will be. I want to give her some sort of a chance again but I don't know if it will be wasted or not.
Well if you're not committed, why should she be?
Because I have been, and she is the one who has to make up for it now. She knows that.
Did you make it clear that you were?

She knows where we stand. She says now that it doesn't matter if I'm not hers, she will still be only mine until she can convince me that she's worth taking back again. She says it's worth the effort even if I don't end up taking her back.

DAS B00T x2 · January 19, 2015, 07:50:04 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:46:37 AM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 07:41:26 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:40:34 AM
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 07:38:59 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:06:44 AM
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 06:53:10 AM
Well OP, what do you want from her?
There's nothing specific I seek from her. She does often make me happy though. I suppose I could just use her as company and a fuck buddy but that lacks substance and I don't see the point if that's all it will be. I want to give her some sort of a chance again but I don't know if it will be wasted or not.
Well if you're not committed, why should she be?
Because I have been, and she is the one who has to make up for it now. She knows that.
Did you make it clear that you were?
She knows where we stand. She says now that it doesn't matter if I'm not hers, she will still be only mine until she can convince me that she's worth taking back again. She says it's worth the effort even if I don't end up taking her back.

Oh good, she's crazy.
Have fun, OP.

Muffin Master · January 19, 2015, 08:01:02 AM

Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 07:50:04 AM

Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:46:37 AM
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 07:41:26 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:40:34 AM
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 07:38:59 AM
Quote from: Muffin Master on January 19, 2015, 07:06:44 AM
Quote from: DAS B00T x2 on January 19, 2015, 06:53:10 AM
Well OP, what do you want from her?
There's nothing specific I seek from her. She does often make me happy though. I suppose I could just use her as company and a fuck buddy but that lacks substance and I don't see the point if that's all it will be. I want to give her some sort of a chance again but I don't know if it will be wasted or not.
Well if you're not committed, why should she be?
Because I have been, and she is the one who has to make up for it now. She knows that.
Did you make it clear that you were?
She knows where we stand. She says now that it doesn't matter if I'm not hers, she will still be only mine until she can convince me that she's worth taking back again. She says it's worth the effort even if I don't end up taking her back.
Oh good, she's crazy.
Have fun, OP.

Thank you, lmao.
Good day. ;p