You see flood, I have math finals tomorrow and I spent 6 hours studying and needed a breathe of fresh air. I went out back and I was bird watching on my back patio when I farted unlike any other fart in the histories existence of rectum trumpeting.  It dematerialized my fucking cargo shorts and my butt funnel prolapsed so hard that it looked like a flesh tree grew up from the ground, up my asshole, with my g-spot sticking out like lone branch. Outta no where my dog Sparky runs up and starts licking my g-spot and turns me on.  My step mom walks out to see the source of the glass shattering boom.  I turned to her, with the creepiest grin imaginable, though not consciously, but through a moment of sexual ecstasy.  I rotate on my meaty pedestal and slowly start stroking my bone.  Her eyes widen in horror before being enveloped in a sea of splooge.

There was a knock at the front door, my brother answers it.  It was a Mormon, "Hello young sir, do you have a moment to talk abo- JESUS CHRIST!" they both got swept away by my splooge sea. 

Jogging on the sidewalk just a block away from home with our other dog, Sea Biscuit, my father watches in jaw dropping terror as his wife, son, Sparky, and a stranger explode away from the house carried in a seamen's sea of semen.  Sea Biscuit shits right there and starts dragging his ass on pavement grinning.  My dad turns to run but gets swallowed almost immediately. 

"Here lies a man of many talents" said the pastor at Leonard Nimoy's funeral procession.  Just then, a tree cracking explosion paused the event.  Up the hill everyone gawked.  They looked at the mandible hang inducing catacyclism of formula A 28 chromosome baby formula bursting through the tree's.  "Aw Hell NO" said Samuel L. Jackson, "That's THAT BULLSHIT!".  A homeless man, Glenn Beck, shouts "It's the government, I called it" before dropping his pants, shitting, and wiping his ass on the ground grinning.  The crowd scattered to escape but they were all consumed.

Now my question is, what is X?