Monthly Tinder Profile Write-up Contest

Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
Seeing as tinder is a joke in my area I've decided to let sep7agon write my profile.

Winners will be decided based on amounts of likes, and there is no limit to the amount of write-ups you can like. Obviously duplicate likes will be thrown out, so no cheating.

Make it as creative or offensive as you want.
Things that could land me in on a watch list will obviously not be considered, looking at you das.

Will update with screenshots and a running tally of matches based on the profile. I will be swiping right on everyone in an attempt to make it fair and balanced.

Let's have some fun.

Edit:
500 character limit, so keep that in mind
Last Edit: December 30, 2016, 10:20:39 AM by Dietrich Six

 
Ian | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Signature goes here.
What are the basic outlines of the profile we need to contribute to?

 
Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
Quote from: Ian on December 30, 2016, 09:38:03 AM
What are the basic outlines of the profile we need to contribute to?

The about me section. Short write-up explaining what kind of person I am, what I'm looking for, etc. You don't have to follow any set rules, write a short story if you like.

 
 
 
Mr. Psychologist | Imperial Forum Ninja
 
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<.<
Is there a character limit?

 
Ian | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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About me:

I'm a Katana enthusiast. These blades are folded over ten thousand times and cut through solid steel. They're also the perfect length for concealment underneath my trench coat when I walk the city streets at night, monitoring any activity from the dead beat jocks who don't treat women like the princesses that they are (those same jocks that don't think trilbies are cool). When I'm not busy trying to make the streets safer for all the ladies out there (;D), I spend my time debating in intellectual discussions about the plight of male's rights and how video games are the deepest forms of media in our time.

Some of my favorite movies are: The 40 Year Old Virgin, Pokemon 2000, Deadpool, and the original TMNT (That's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for short).

Some of my goals are upgrading my ride to a new modern moped. You don't need a license for a moped and I refuse to get a DL because for far locations my mother can just take me. I'd also like to learn how to cook my own chicken tenders, that way I don't need to rely on others to make them for me when I'm hungry at 2am and wont have to wake up my mom's BF to cook them for me. I'm also a strong advocate for AUTISM awareness and how internet terrorism is causing the suicide rate of our enlightened children to skyrocket.

What I'm looking for:

Someone who wants to go on an adventure, singing in the rain, and cuddling. We don't need to have sex right away, cuddling is a'okay (;D). Preferred standards are short blonde hair (so you'll look like my waifu Chie from Persona 4). Is okay with paying for the first date (since making men pay first shows the blight against males in our current society) and can't be more than 160 pounds. If you're looking for something more serious/long term, having a job is a must (those chicken tenders aren't going to buy themselves!) but around enough for enough cuddling (or more eheheheheh......).

Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison

 
Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
500 character limit

 
Ian | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Ah shit, that means I'm gonna have to cut that down.

 
Casper | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Toys are hereby declared:
ILLEGAL
IMMORAL
UNLAWFUL
 anyone found with a TOY in his possession will be
placed under ARREST and thrown in the DUNGEON!
No kidding!               🅱
Just fill it in with a few Trump tweets

 
Spartan | Legendary Invincible!
 
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All because I wanted sex as soon as possible, with someone who was basically a stranger. I can't even believe what happened but it did. This was the worst night of my life and it seems unbelievable. Very NSFW you've been warned.

She came over. We started fooling around. I was very nervous. She was giving me oral on top of me. I got a little too excited and tried rubbing my dick between her with her bra still on...I'm such an idiot.

 
 
Mr. Psychologist | Imperial Forum Ninja
 
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<.<
Quote
I'm a Genji main

Short, simple and you'll have so many bitches leaping onto your dragon dick that you won't know who to spam 'thanks' passive-aggressively at.

Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
Quote from: Ian on December 30, 2016, 10:12:16 AM
About me:

I'm a Katana enthusiast. These blades are folded over ten thousand times and cut through solid steel. They're also the perfect length for concealment underneath my trench coat when I walk the city streets at night, monitoring any activity from the dead beat jocks who don't treat women like the princesses that they are (those same jocks that don't think trilbies are cool). When I'm not busy trying to make the streets safer for all the ladies out there (;D), I spend my time debating in intellectual discussions about the plight of male's rights and how video games are the deepest forms of media in our time.

Some of my favorite movies are: The 40 Year Old Virgin, Pokemon 2000, Deadpool, and the original TMNT (That's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for short).

Some of my goals are upgrading my ride to a new modern moped. You don't need a license for a moped and I refuse to get a DL because for far locations my mother can just take me. I'd also like to learn how to cook my own chicken tenders, that way I don't need to rely on others to make them for me when I'm hungry at 2am and wont have to wake up my mom's BF to cook them for me. I'm also a strong advocate for AUTISM awareness and how internet terrorism is causing the suicide rate of our enlightened children to skyrocket.

What I'm looking for:

Someone who wants to go on an adventure, singing in the rain, and cuddling. We don't need to have sex right away, cuddling is a'okay (;D). Preferred standards are short blonde hair (so you'll look like my waifu Chie from Persona 4). Is okay with paying for the first date (since making men pay first shows the blight against males in our current society) and can't be more than 160 pounds. If you're looking for something more serious/long term, having a job is a must (those chicken tenders aren't going to buy themselves!) but around enough for enough cuddling (or more eheheheheh......).

I really like that last bit

 
Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
Quote from: Mr. Psychologist on December 30, 2016, 11:01:40 AM
Quote
I'm a Genji main

Short, simple and you'll have so many bitches leaping onto your dragon dick that you won't know who to spam 'thanks' passive-aggressively at.

Stellar option

Mmmmm Napalm | Legendary Invincible!
 
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gurb
"I can be yours for only $9.95 per day! Note that this does not include additional charges for food, drink, and methamphetamine."
Last Edit: December 30, 2016, 12:27:06 PM by Mmmmm Napalm

 
 
Jono | Future Nostalgia
 
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Goodness gracious, great balls of lightning!
"All too easy."

Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
We've got a pretty good selection so far. Might make a poll later with the suggestions.

 
Super Irish | Legendary Invincible!
 
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If I'm not here, I'm doing photography. Or I'm asleep. Or in lockdown. One of those three, anyway.

The current titlebar/avatar setup is just normal.
Last Edit: December 30, 2016, 03:29:35 PM by Iontach Gaeilge

 
Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison

 
Super Irish | Legendary Invincible!
 
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If I'm not here, I'm doing photography. Or I'm asleep. Or in lockdown. One of those three, anyway.

The current titlebar/avatar setup is just normal.
Quote from: Dietrich Six on December 30, 2016, 03:44:55 PM
Quote from: Iontach Gaeilge on December 30, 2016, 03:26:31 PM
Replace the obvious GTA references and you're away.

http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/gtawiki/images/b/b6/FrenchTomProfile.png/revision/latest?cb=20130718112604

Nigga, is that the thumbnail?

Wiki images and mobiles don't go together for some reason. Just search "FrenchTom Lovemeet".

 
Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
Get your suggestions in now, poll goes up tomorrow.

 
maverick | Legendary Invincible!
 
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Good idea for a thread. I'm probably going to make my first tinder pretty soon and have been wanting something cringy for the about me section.

 
Dietrich Six | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Excuse me, I'm full of dog poison
Quote from: Maverick on December 31, 2016, 01:33:52 PM
Good idea for a thread. I'm probably going to make my first tinder pretty soon and have been wanting something cringy for the about me section.

Dead ass, works better than a legitimate one