Man lands in ICU for spoiling Star Wars movie

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http://tribune.com.pk/story/1013235/man-lands-in-icu-for-spoiling-star-wars-at-a-us-theatre

Quote
A 20-year-old man landed in the intensive care unit (ICU) of a hospital after he spilled out the ending of the movie Star Wars: The Force Awakens at a US theatre, a media report said.

The man, Raymond Chatfield, walked out of a premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens on Thursday night and shouted out a major spoiler in front of at least 100 people waiting in the lobby for the next show, thegoodlordabove.com reported on Friday.

“I was waiting in line to see the evening show. Then this kid walks past the line, shouts out the ending and starts laughing. He totally ruined the movie for everyone,” a witness said.

Three men, who were waiting in the lobby, donning suits of Star Wars characters, assaulted and critically injured the man. He was later admitted in the ICU in Bakersfield city, California.

“I saw it all. This guy shouts out the spoiler right? Within 15 seconds, he was on the ground, getting beat up three men,” another witness said.

“At first, the crowd was cheering the assaulters, and I think that made it worse. They beat him up for five minutes, kicking and punching him in the gut,” the witness added.

Police did not arrest the assaulters and allowed them to watch the movie as planned.

“We view this as justifiable assault,” a police officer said.

































Spoiler
these idiots thought this was real
Last Edit: December 20, 2015, 10:05:11 PM by Jolly Rocket


 
TB
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Ohhh so that's what would have happened if the guy behind me and my buddies had actually spoiled it.
Spoiler
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN DARTH VADER IS LUKE'S FATHER?!


 
Elai
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Good. I wanted to do the same thing to the person who spoiled it for me.


 
Jono
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Goodness gracious, great balls of lightning!
WOAH WTF THIS HAPPENED IN MY CITY??

This doesn't surprise me honestly.


 
Elai
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I would not trust myself with a gun when the sound of spoilers fills the room...


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The Tribune really doesn't check sources

http://thegoodlordabove.com/articles/details/134


Septy | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Isn't Tribune satire


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Isn't Tribune satire

The "about" section doesn't say it's satire


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Septy | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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I would not trust myself with a gun when the sound of spoilers fills the room...
Are you 14


 
Elai
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God man, get on some Xanax, 4Chan spoiled the movie for me a week before it came out and I didn't flip my shit.

I don't care about what happened to you.


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I would not trust myself with a gun when the sound of spoilers fills the room...
Are you 14

No he's Ganondorf, so......really fucking old?


 
Elai
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Are you 14

No, I just despise spoilers with a burning fucking passion.

Fiction of any kind is the only thing that makes the world tolerable. When someone ruins that for anyone, I'm bound to lose my shit.


 
Elai
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I don't really care that Ep. 7 was spoiled for me. I just hate that it happened to other people as well.


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"flaming nipple chops"-Your host, the man they call Ghost.

To say, 'nothing is true', is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say, 'everything is permitted', is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic.
lol


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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No he's Ganondorf, so......really fucking old?
Can you stop trying to be funny for one day?

Instead of commenting relevantly to the topic, let's derail it.


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Elai
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You're mixing up fiction with money, drugs, and hedonistic pleasure. If fiction could still make life better, I'd still believe in God and an afterlife.

Fiction = escapism. Fiction includes video games, movies, books, television... Drugs could also be a form of escapism, but without the grace and creative prowess that fiction offers.

It's quite funny how the only way to truly enjoy life is to escape it. Says something about the experience as a whole.


 
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Are you 14

No, I just despise spoilers with a burning fucking passion.

Fiction of any kind is the only thing that makes the world tolerable. When someone ruins that for anyone, I'm bound to lose my shit.
You realize the way you've been sperging out eclipses all of the shit that's been going on with deci, right?


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It's quite funny how the only way to truly enjoy life is to escape it. Says something abot the experience as a whole.
No it isn't


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Are you 14

No, I just despise spoilers with a burning fucking passion.

Fiction of any kind is the only thing that makes the world tolerable. When someone ruins that for anyone, I'm bound to lose my shit.
You're mixing up fiction with money, drugs, and hedonistic pleasure. If fiction could still make life better, I'd still believe in God and an afterlife.
Daily reminder:

This man is going to teach our children math.


 
Elai
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You realize the way you've been sperging out eclipses all of the shit that's been going on with deci, right?

Awesome. Maybe people will understand what I'm trying to get across if it's sits in the limelight for a bit.


 
Elai
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Elai
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You'll grow out of this phase.

What "phase"?

And aren't you one of the younger users here?