Man Kills Imaginary Friend

Elegiac · May 13, 2015, 02:00:54 AM

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Geoff Gaylord walked into a Jacksonville Sheriff's Office and confessed to his crime: he had repeatedly stabbed his friend "Mr. Happy" with a kitchen knife, cut up Mr. Happy with a hatchet, and buried him in his backyard.

Cheat · May 13, 2015, 02:01:30 AM

That guy is so metal.

Jono · May 13, 2015, 02:02:15 AM

He should have just sent him to Foster's Home if he didn't want his friend

🂿 · May 13, 2015, 02:05:37 AM

YouTube

Solonoid · May 13, 2015, 02:05:38 AM

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He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen... never picked up his empty cocaine baggies...He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn't get it clean...Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF...We'd go dancing, play on the children's park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal – listened to it for hours with the lights turned off.

This guy had a clinical case of being too hardcore.

Girl of Mystery · May 13, 2015, 02:11:52 AM

What a Gaylord

N/A · May 13, 2015, 02:13:22 AM

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Mattie G Indahouse · May 13, 2015, 05:18:53 AM

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Geoff Gaylord

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Gaylord

Lel.

Flee · May 13, 2015, 05:30:20 AM

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Elegiac · May 13, 2015, 05:50:17 AM

Quote from: Flee on May 13, 2015, 05:30:20 AM

I'm not even from the US and can see the steady trend of all weird shit coming out of Florida.

I have secret information.

Kitsune 狐 · May 13, 2015, 06:23:26 AM

Awwwww he's so sad!!! He needs help.

Elegiac · May 13, 2015, 06:34:40 AM

Quote from: Kitsunekun on May 13, 2015, 06:23:26 AM

Awwwww he's so sad!!! He needs help.

He'll get help now. If he's lucky and well-behaved he'll end up on Oprah or something.

challengerX · May 13, 2015, 07:43:11 AM

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FatherlyNick - fuck putin · May 13, 2015, 08:23:14 AM

I wonder if any of Mr. Happy's relatives showed up in court as witnesses.

Kitsune 狐 · May 13, 2015, 08:39:47 AM

Quote from: Elegiac on May 13, 2015, 06:34:40 AM

Quote from: Kitsunekun on May 13, 2015, 06:23:26 AM
Awwwww he's so sad!!! He needs help.
He'll get help now. If he's lucky and well-behaved he'll end up on Oprah or something.

Oprah gives away free shit oooo lucky guy lol

Deesbee · May 13, 2015, 09:20:43 AM

#imaginarylivesmatter

Super Irish · May 13, 2015, 09:22:42 AM

He's a bit skewed in the head, but he certainly has some moral compass.

I mean, he owned up to an imaginary crime. Sorta good, mostly bad.

King pesto · May 13, 2015, 09:28:31 AM

Quote from: Flee on May 13, 2015, 05:30:20 AM

I'm not even from the US and can see the steady trend of all weird shit coming out of Florida.

I've heard it has a lot to do with the police records in Florida, where everything is public. At least, as I understand it.

Jester · May 13, 2015, 10:42:00 AM

And I thought I had problems. Sweet jeebus

R o c k e t · May 13, 2015, 11:28:45 AM

Quote from: Flee on May 13, 2015, 05:30:20 AM

I'm not even from the US and can see the steady trend of all weird shit coming out of Florida.

:/

R o c k e t · May 13, 2015, 11:29:19 AM

Is this how the movie "Minority Report" started?

Flee · May 13, 2015, 11:35:52 AM

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nͫiͤcͫeͤ · May 13, 2015, 12:10:45 PM

hopefully he gets the punishment he deserves for this

i think it would only get fair to put him on imaginary death row

Naru · May 13, 2015, 12:14:18 PM

Jester · May 13, 2015, 12:14:59 PM

what a fucking monster.

Naru · May 13, 2015, 12:40:26 PM

Editor's Note: So apparently this story comes from a phony site. Oh well. Even the smartest people in the world (read: Mandatory editors) get fooled every now and then. Enjoy the story anyway.

Hahahaha very funny Zonda · May 13, 2015, 12:42:48 PM

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Elegiac · May 13, 2015, 01:07:41 PM

I can't believe you guys fell for this

Solonoid · May 14, 2015, 04:20:26 AM

Quote from: Mr Whiteflame on May 13, 2015, 09:20:43 AM

#imaginarylivesmatter

Yeah, just like you social life.