monogamy is dumb, but if you enter a relationship with someone with the mutual understanding that it is monogamous, and that person cheats, that's fucked up. and it's totally cool to warn other people who might want monogamous relationships that this person who ostensibly wants to be in a 1 on 1 relationship with them is actually a cheater. its all in the interest of transparency.

its easy for me to say these things because i dont actively seek partners, and i do think that when i do find someone i want to be with my attitude might change, but really, monogamous relationships implode the vast majority of the time. its silly that we're still so attached to the idea when it's been proven time and time again to be extremely difficult to maintain in the long run.

Quote from: SecondClass on May 18, 2016, 07:00:25 PM

"degenerate" by your standards

Which are probably relatively close to yours, too.

I like the family unit and "proper" upbringing for children because it generally benefits me not to have kids running around trying to assault or rape me. It's as much a matter of self interest as it is looking out for everyone else.

We can get into how all of these value systems are based on arbitrary meaningless bullshit, but you have to promise me you'll drop the "muh rights" crap, because that's arbitrary nonsense too.

Quote from: SecondClass on May 18, 2016, 07:06:51 PM

"if you aren't held to every standard and expectation of the modern family unit, you'll end up a rapist or murderer"

can't say I thought you'd say anything less insane

Thank you so much for putting words in my mouth.

still seems too broad a brush to paint. there are plenty of entirely monogamous heterosexual couples who have absolutely no fucking business raising children, yet here they are, doing it all the same. its a bad qualifier to use, there are too many other things that go into this for us to really use monogamous heterosexuality (or, really, any type of amorous relationship) as a baseline for proper households. how stable is the household's income, are the parents/guardians religious nuts, is the public school system good or bad, et cetera..

Quote from: Azumarill on May 18, 2016, 07:13:19 PM

still seems too broad a brush to paint. there are plenty of entirely monogamous heterosexual couples who have absolutely no fucking business raising children, yet here they are, doing it all the same.

I don't disagree.

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its a bad qualifier to use, there are too many other things that go into this for us to really use monogamous heterosexuality as a baseline for proper households.

I don't use either as a baseline, but IF the parents are heterosexual, monogamy is an important factor.

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how stable is the household's income,  is the public school system good or bad, et cetera..

Of course these are all important. I don't mean to claim that the sexual practices of the parents are the most important factor.

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are the parents/guardians religious nuts,

*tips*


Here's my thing. There is no biological imperative to raise another male's offspring. There just isn't, unless the male is suffering from some form of mental illness. There may be an externally-imposed pressure to "stand by yo woman" or to be charitable, but from an evolutionary standpoint it is a humongous waste of precious time and energy. The conflict between cultural value and biological law can only lead to problems. If you can't safely reproduce, I understand adoption, but that is more guided by charitable instincts than paternal ones, at least until the adoptee is fully integrated.

This is why the patriarchal monogamous family unit is the way it is. To ensure that the male partner, who generally plays the role of protector, has motivation to do his job. A male lion will murder the fuck out of another male's offspring when he wants to mate with the mother. Having multiple polygamous males compete for multiple polygamous females leads to unnecessary violence and bloodshed. The one man, one woman system is a good way to ensure both partners are biologically motivated to do their jobs, and there is no confusion or conflict over the offspring's lineage. Breaking this monogamy fucks everything up, and creates a doorway for conflict and mistrust.

At least, ideally. Unfortunately, our society is full of degenerate parents who don't do their jobs. I don't think that's entirely a fault of the system, but it could be tweaked to leave less room for failure.