It's been so long since my romantic feelings have been verbally reciprocated.

 
Elai
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Okay. Let's slow the train down here. For starters I don't know quite what we're talking about here. I need some context. I'm tired and my eyes are bleeding. I'm not gonna go through that many pages.

Can you give me a quick summary?

I'm no specialist, but hey. Let's give it a shot. Discussion always lands somewhere.

Ill do my best but im on mobile.

It's been a long time since I've been loved. I've been in varying degrees of romantic periods individually but I haven't had my love reciprocated in a very long time, and this just dawned on me.

I want someone to love, who also loves me, so that I have a reason to get up in the morning (see, a purpose). That purpose being, to provide for them. That obligation will force me to get my life together.

I also said I hate myself and want someone who loves me to tell me why they do.

Additionally, though i havent said it yet, i believe that the human experience is not genuine if you arent depressed. I believe depression is unfiltered reality, and that getting over it is fine and all but its fleeting. The Human condition is defined by suffering.

Well, fuck, there's your problem. Right there. RIGHT FUCKING THERE. I could give you a monumentally long post. I can cover almost every single aspect of what you just said and dismantle it. Completely.

Guess Nuka's right. The doc you visited was shit.

But, I'm not going to waste my time. Do you want me to write a post?

I dunno if I can do it now, because my head's kinda..... messy. But after I wake up and maybe sort out some of my problems. I can break everything down for you piece by piece.

Again, it might be messy and come insegments. But I hear you, okay.


Feel free to respond when youre comfortable. I dont want to make you do anything you dont want to.

If you need to take the night or whatever, feel free to PM me whrn you get the chance


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MyNameIsCharlie | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Sandtrap, you're dead wrong. Depression IS part and parcel of the human experience. You can't know a high without a low. No pleasure without pain. Chasing the eternal high is an addict's dream.

I tried that for 15 years. You know what? It ALWAYS fails. Always.

We define our pleasure by our pain, and our pain by our pleasure.


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become enamoured in facets of that person which you do not understand instead of focusing on things you have in common.

You'll find the joy of discovering a person is more powerful than cold comfort gleaned by being in synchronicity with another.

Thats all well n good but you need to connect with someome on some level to be even just friends with em

Its also pretty clear to me that the opposite attract theory of tomance is dogshit


Additionally, thanks for being somewhat serious. Though, i think youre being a bit childish when you call me unintelligent just cuz we disagree.
If you find contentment in what you have in common with others, then you are not a creature of ambition, and it is not high intelligence, but arrogance which prevents you from connecting with others.

If that is the case, then humble yourself before others, that they may better convey themselves to you.

I never said it was high intelligence that doesnt allow me to connecy with others

Theres a ton of different reasons i dont connect with oeople

Arrogance may be one of them, sure

But its not the maon reason

Anyways im not really interested in discussing this with you
Advice you don't want to hear I the best advice you can take.

Also, don't complain your level of intelligence is "awkward" and then say that it doesn't make it hard for you to connect with others.

See this is the reason shrinks didn't work for you, you're so adamant about being complicated and saying that nobody could possibly understand you that when somebody gets it on the nose, you don't want to believe it.

1. I also never saif my intelligence DOESNT hinder my ability to connect. It doesn,but there are other reasons too.

2. Im so glad you know my experiences better than i do regarding shrinks.
See, there you go again assuming you're unique.

You're basically a textbook example.

I know why shrinks won't work on you because its the most basic reason in the whole fucking world that therapy doesn't work on people, and you've conveyed that trait countless times in this thread alone.

I've got news buddy,
Spoiler
You're basic[./spoiler]


 
Elai
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I appreciate where Charley is coming from, though. Out of all the people ITT, he's "got it" the most IMO.


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Telling him to get help is counterproductive. What could a shrink tell him? Let his guard down? Some other pie in the sky bullshit? I've been to more than a few. They all read the same textbooks and give minor variations on the same shit. At the end of the day it comes down to Eli. Their advice boils down to telling a homeless person to get a job as a stockbroker buy a mansion.

What he needs is to just find someone who's there tomorrow. Not necessarily next week. Just tomorrow. Relearn self worth. If she's good enough for longer, great. If not, then oh well. She'll get someone tomorrow and so will he.

We're all broken. The game is just making tomorrow livable.

YEAH

woo
Tread carefully, 'ol Charles is one of the people that encouraged Roman.
We all know how that went.

Roman gets in where he fits in. Mad that he banged a fatty? That's your problem. He doesn't feel he has a problem. He feels happy.

People that fuck with him are the unhappy ones.
With all due respect, this is coming from the guy with a horribly failed marriage and a whole string of other problems. You don't even seem to have your own shit sorted out yet. All I'm saying is I don't think you're the best candidate for advice in this department. Not that any of are, but...y'know what I mean.

All true. But, given all of my shit, I haven't taken the noose-express out of all this. In fact, I still get up and smile. Why?

I know where my pleasures lie. I go to them. I sought someone who needed me for a week, and it stretched to over a year.  I don't try to hold on. I let it happen. You know what? I have been happier for this year than I was for a decade and a half of forcing it.

Like I said, I have been there and back.


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what a great guy

he's totally just misunderstood


 
Elai
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become enamoured in facets of that person which you do not understand instead of focusing on things you have in common.

You'll find the joy of discovering a person is more powerful than cold comfort gleaned by being in synchronicity with another.

Thats all well n good but you need to connect with someome on some level to be even just friends with em

Its also pretty clear to me that the opposite attract theory of tomance is dogshit


Additionally, thanks for being somewhat serious. Though, i think youre being a bit childish when you call me unintelligent just cuz we disagree.
If you find contentment in what you have in common with others, then you are not a creature of ambition, and it is not high intelligence, but arrogance which prevents you from connecting with others.

If that is the case, then humble yourself before others, that they may better convey themselves to you.

I never said it was high intelligence that doesnt allow me to connecy with others

Theres a ton of different reasons i dont connect with oeople

Arrogance may be one of them, sure

But its not the maon reason

Anyways im not really interested in discussing this with you
Advice you don't want to hear I the best advice you can take.

Also, don't complain your level of intelligence is "awkward" and then say that it doesn't make it hard for you to connect with others.

See this is the reason shrinks didn't work for you, you're so adamant about being complicated and saying that nobody could possibly understand you that when somebody gets it on the nose, you don't want to believe it.

1. I also never saif my intelligence DOESNT hinder my ability to connect. It doesn,but there are other reasons too.

2. Im so glad you know my experiences better than i do regarding shrinks.
See, there you go again assuming you're unique.

You're basically a textbook example.

I know why shrinks won't work on you because its the most basic reason in the whole fucking world that therapy doesn't work on people, and you've conveyed that trait countless times in this thread alone.

I've got news buddy,
Spoiler
You're basic[./spoiler]
Lol what

How do you get "assuming youre unique" from a sarcastic response regarding YOU making baseless assumptions

But like i said, i dont have any interest in talking to you because you dont have anything to offer me. You clearly have some sort of bias against me and nothing youve said in this thread has been particularly helpful or accurate. Its not a matter of me not liking your advice, like you suggest. But rather, you just not understanding what im trying to say because you dont really want to.


 
Elai
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what a great guy

he's totally just misunderstood

LOL

what is humour

You dug up that old comment just to make me look bad

And you wonder why im "so mean" to you

Take your butt buddy sol and go make another thread jerking each other off lmao


MyNameIsCharlie | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Actually, for the first time in too long, yes. I don't feel I have to change. I just be myself. I am with someone who is herself. And we accept each other as we are. Neither of us thought it would last beyond 6 weeks. But we came to realize that life is too damned short for the drama we create for ourselves.


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β€”Judge Aaron Satie
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what a great guy

he's totally just misunderstood

LOL

what is humour

You dug up that old comment just to make me look bad

And you wonder why im "so mean" to you

Take your butt buddy sol and go make another thread jerking each other off lmao
"Dug up"

it's a pretty iconic comment

not really a joke, more like literally wishing death on another user because he spoiled a fucking movie for you

everything you've said about yourself ITT is true, don't let these other people tell you otherwise

you're a scumbag bro


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omg guys chill plz


 
TB
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#13

omg guys chill plz
Oh boy here we go again!


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"old"

it's less than a week old

actually that's a week >.>


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Elai
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what a great guy

he's totally just misunderstood

LOL

what is humour

You dug up that old comment just to make me look bad

And you wonder why im "so mean" to you

Take your butt buddy sol and go make another thread jerking each other off lmao
"old"

it's less than a week old

He still woulda had to search through the forum to find it.

Dug up seems appropriate, maybe not "old" tho


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Oh boy here we go again!
oh boy here we go


 
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#13


 
Elai
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what a great guy

he's totally just misunderstood

LOL

what is humour

You dug up that old comment just to make me look bad

And you wonder why im "so mean" to you

Take your butt buddy sol and go make another thread jerking each other off lmao
"Dug up"

it's a pretty iconic comment

not really a joke, more like literally wishing death on another user because he spoiled a fucking movie for you

everything you've said about yourself ITT is true, don't let these other people tell you otherwise

you're a scumbag bro

You realize deci didnt spoil star wars for me

Right


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He still woulda had to search through the forum to find it.

Dug up seems appropriate, maybe not "old" tho
Dug up implies that I had to search extensively for it. What you posted was a pretty fucked up comment, and plenty of people saved it. I don't know why you're trying to even defend himself here when you (supposedly) fundamentally hate yourself.


 
Elai
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But for real class

Ive literally never done anything to warrant your dislike for me

ever

So i hope you know youre being a cunt all on your own.


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become enamoured in facets of that person which you do not understand instead of focusing on things you have in common.

You'll find the joy of discovering a person is more powerful than cold comfort gleaned by being in synchronicity with another.

Thats all well n good but you need to connect with someome on some level to be even just friends with em

Its also pretty clear to me that the opposite attract theory of tomance is dogshit


Additionally, thanks for being somewhat serious. Though, i think youre being a bit childish when you call me unintelligent just cuz we disagree.
If you find contentment in what you have in common with others, then you are not a creature of ambition, and it is not high intelligence, but arrogance which prevents you from connecting with others.

If that is the case, then humble yourself before others, that they may better convey themselves to you.

I never said it was high intelligence that doesnt allow me to connecy with others

Theres a ton of different reasons i dont connect with oeople

Arrogance may be one of them, sure

But its not the maon reason

Anyways im not really interested in discussing this with you
Advice you don't want to hear I the best advice you can take.

Also, don't complain your level of intelligence is "awkward" and then say that it doesn't make it hard for you to connect with others.

See this is the reason shrinks didn't work for you, you're so adamant about being complicated and saying that nobody could possibly understand you that when somebody gets it on the nose, you don't want to believe it.

1. I also never saif my intelligence DOESNT hinder my ability to connect. It doesn,but there are other reasons too.

2. Im so glad you know my experiences better than i do regarding shrinks.
See, there you go again assuming you're unique.

You're basically a textbook example.

I know why shrinks won't work on you because its the most basic reason in the whole fucking world that therapy doesn't work on people, and you've conveyed that trait countless times in this thread alone.

I've got news buddy,
Spoiler
You're basic[./spoiler]
Lol what

How do you get "assuming youre unique" from a sarcastic response regarding YOU making baseless assumptions

But like i said, i dont have any interest in talking to you because you dont have anything to offer me. You clearly have some sort of bias against me and nothing youve said in this thread has been particularly helpful or accurate. Its not a matter of me not liking your advice, like you suggest. But rather, you just not understanding what im trying to say because you dont really want to.
You don't want  to hear anything that is hard to swallow, ergo the reason your problems won't go away.

Charlie's advice won't help you one bit, whereas sandtrap's is spot on.

You've posted so much self indulgent crap in this thread that its ridiculously easy to read you.

If you stopped for a moment and considered my advice from when this conversation was still somewhat civil, and tried it instead of remaining in denial, we would be done talking.


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Get of my lawn
Actually, for the first time in too long, yes. I don't feel I have to change. I just be myself. I am with someone who is herself. And we accept each other as we are. Neither of us thought it would last beyond 6 weeks. But we came to realize that life is too damned short for the drama we create for ourselves.
Okay one last question I guess before I stop bothering with this (I got shit I really need to work on and these threads need to stop distracting me) what advice would you give to someone who fundamentally hates themselves? Because that's the core issue here.

I think that very few people actually hate themselves. I think we all paint ourselves into boxes and hate what we become. All it takes is to find someone who cares, if even for a minute.

The trick is to just be who you are and make no apologies. If they act weird at your weirdness, then do not waste a second with them.

The sad truth is, we're all the same. We put on airs to make people think we're better, but we all share the exact same baggage.

That's why Eli should just find someone for tomorrow. Validate who he is, unchanged, and he restores his self value. What do you think love is? It's simply acceptance.


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β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
Ive literally never done anything to warrant your dislike for me
You're just an inherently deplorable person. Annoying, tactless, boring.

And this thread is only further proving it.


 
Elai
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He still woulda had to search through the forum to find it.

Dug up seems appropriate, maybe not "old" tho
Dug up implies that I had to search extensively for it. What you posted was a pretty fucked up comment, and plenty of people saved it. I don't know why you're trying to even defend himself here when you (supposedly) fundamentally hate yourself.

This i did not know

But you still would have had to search through threads to find it, as i only changed my avatar yesterday to what it is now

So yeah, you searched through the forum to find that comment

Which is fine, you do you

But admit it at least


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#13



Seriously?

What? You don't like Stephen Colbert?
He's fine.

Just not really the time or place for the gif.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
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β€”β€”Carmen
He still woulda had to search through the forum to find it.

Dug up seems appropriate, maybe not "old" tho
Dug up implies that I had to search extensively for it. What you posted was a pretty fucked up comment, and plenty of people saved it. I don't know why you're trying to even defend himself here when you (supposedly) fundamentally hate yourself.

This i did not know

But you still would have had to search through threads to find it, as i only changed my avatar yesterday to what it is now

So yeah, you searched through the forum to find that comment

Which is fine, you do you

But admit it at least
Wasn't even me who screencapped it, I got it from someone else

You'll never guess who