It's been so long since my romantic feelings have been verbally reciprocated.

MyNameIsCharlie | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Get of my lawn
Eli. Move on to someone else. Find someone who does reciprocate. Trust me on this. Do not stay in this hell. I was there for a long, long time. If you don't have someone, find them. Even if they're just around a little bit.


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It's only impossible because you're telling yourself it is.

I hate my sense of humour, my habitual tendencies, the way i speak, my inability to connect with people, my physique, my voice, my awkward level of intelligence... none of which I can change.
Is "incredibly low" synonymous with awkward?


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
It's only impossible because you're telling yourself it is.

I hate my sense of humour, my habitual tendencies, the way i speak, my inability to connect with people, my physique, my voice, my awkward level of intelligence... none of which I can change.
What are your reasons for hating those things?

Example: "I hate my voice because it's too high"

Humour: because it's esoteric and often childish or unintelligent
Habits: i clench my jaw a lot. Grind my teeth too. It gives me head aches.
The way I speak: it's often hard to follow my train of thought for some reason, even though to me it feels like im just saying the most basic things ever. Makes it hard for people to empathise or sympathise with me (you can see it in this thread, even)
My physique: i just dont like it, idk
My voice: i just find my own voice annoying.
Intelligence: im at this weird level where i'm smarter than most people i talk to but not smart enough to play ball with the people who are "speaking my language", if that makes any sense
This is going to sound cliche as fuck but all of those things are what make you special, and you can improve them too. I have a ton of resources I can lead you to that I've collected over the years that will definitely improve your self image dude.

It sounds cheesy but I believe self-improvement will help you so much. I truly believe my deep involvement in self improvement material from ages 14-now set the base for my impenetrable wall of self confidence. Completely serious not trying to flex, I love myself so much and I'm surprised at how a lot of people I talk to don't feel the same way about themselves. If you want me to go through the effort I'll link some stuff bro but only if you'll actually look into it.

I appreciate the concern man but if im being honest i probably wouldnt look at the stuff youd send me

Im just coming from too different a place than almost anyone here including you for it to be of any use.


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I neither fear, nor despise.
I definitely definitely definitely dont lack confidence. Its not that.

Im also not particularly shy either. Im one of those guys thatll just be straight up when i like someone and start making moves immediately (unless there's something in the way, like, a boyfriend. Then i dont do anything but casual talk every once in awhile)
I'm gonna echo Nuka here and suggest you talk to a Psych. In fact I'd suggest it to like half the users here tbh

A change of perspective may be all people need.


 
Elai
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It's only impossible because you're telling yourself it is.

I hate my sense of humour, my habitual tendencies, the way i speak, my inability to connect with people, my physique, my voice, my awkward level of intelligence... none of which I can change.
Is "incredibly low" synonymous with awkward?

Fuck off


 
Elai
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Eli. Move on to someone else. Find someone who does reciprocate. Trust me on this. Do not stay in this hell. I was there for a long, long time. If you don't have someone, find them. Even if they're just around a little bit.

Im not stuck on one person tho

I just want to be in love, with someone who loves me. And i dont have that


 
TB
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#13
Gonna echo everyone else and say Psych is the way to go.
Quick tip if you do that though. You need to buy in. Like. All the way.


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
Ive been to psychs before

Theyre a waste of my time and money


MyNameIsCharlie | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Get of my lawn
Eli. Move on to someone else. Find someone who does reciprocate. Trust me on this. Do not stay in this hell. I was there for a long, long time. If you don't have someone, find them. Even if they're just around a little bit.

Im not stuck on one person tho

I just want to be in love, with someone who loves me. And i dont have that

I know exactly what you mean.

My advice remains the same. Find Mrs Right now, instead of holding out for Mrs Right. Even if it lasts a day, you restore your feeling of self worth. When you get that back, you can hold out or on a bit longer.


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I neither fear, nor despise.
Eli. Move on to someone else. Find someone who does reciprocate. Trust me on this. Do not stay in this hell. I was there for a long, long time. If you don't have someone, find them. Even if they're just around a little bit.

Im not stuck on one person tho

I just want to be in love, with someone who loves me. And i dont have that

Before finding that significant person, establish a strong foundation of friends. Just waiting til that one person comes along will drive you mad.


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
Eli. Move on to someone else. Find someone who does reciprocate. Trust me on this. Do not stay in this hell. I was there for a long, long time. If you don't have someone, find them. Even if they're just around a little bit.

Im not stuck on one person tho

I just want to be in love, with someone who loves me. And i dont have that

I know exactly what you mean.

My advice remains the same. Find Mrs Right now, instead of holding out for Mrs Right. Even if it lasts a day, you restore your feeling of self worth. When you get that back, you can hold out or on a bit longer.

Thanks man

Youre alright, you know that


 
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#13
Ive been to psychs before

Theyre a waste of my time and money
They're not. You've either been to bad ones or haven't bought into what they're saying and asking you.


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
Eli. Move on to someone else. Find someone who does reciprocate. Trust me on this. Do not stay in this hell. I was there for a long, long time. If you don't have someone, find them. Even if they're just around a little bit.

Im not stuck on one person tho

I just want to be in love, with someone who loves me. And i dont have that

Before finding that significant person, establish a strong foundation of friends. Just waiting til that one person comes along will drive you mad.

Everyone i know goes away in the end


 
Sandtrap
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I just got back about five minutes ago. Dunno what's going on here. But that last comment warrents a comment.

All the doctors in the world can do nothing for you if you don't do things for yourself or are willing to make the effort or commitment to change.

A psyche can get to the root of things. But they don't have the magic fix you button. You do.


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
Ive been to psychs before

Theyre a waste of my time and money
They're not. You've either been to bad ones or haven't bought into what they're saying and asking you.

Well i can tell you that i did give an honesy effort buying into that stuff

I just felt like my problems were being exasberated by putting them on spotlight. For example, i would say something that made perfect sense to me amd meant one thing, and the psych would misconstrue (through no fault of her own) that i meant something else entirely

Its just not worth the money or the time


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I just got back about five minutes ago. Dunno what's going on here. But that last comment warrents a comment.

All the doctors in the world can do nothing for you if you don't do things for yourself or are willing to make the effort or commitment to change.

A psyche can get to the root of things. But they don't have the magic fix you button. You do.
Dude how'd it go


Solonoid | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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It's only impossible because you're telling yourself it is.

I hate my sense of humour, my habitual tendencies, the way i speak, my inability to connect with people, my physique, my voice, my awkward level of intelligence... none of which I can change.
Is "incredibly low" synonymous with awkward?
Fuck off
Real talk friend, if you are smarter than you come off as on this site, then I can understand your distress in connecting with people, and the solution is really more simple than you might surmise; become enamoured in facets of that person which you do not understand instead of focusing on things you have in common.

You'll find the joy of discovering a person is more powerful than cold comfort gleaned by being in synchronicity with another.


 
Elai
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I should really spend some time writing a long paper about my issues in a way that conveys them accurately enough for people to understamd what i mean when i say "im different"

That might make things a bit easier


 
Sandtrap
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I just got back about five minutes ago. Dunno what's going on here. But that last comment warrents a comment.

All the doctors in the world can do nothing for you if you don't do things for yourself or are willing to make the effort or commitment to change.

A psyche can get to the root of things. But they don't have the magic fix you button. You do.
Dude how'd it go

Fucking waste of time. All tests inconclusive. My eyes are fine. But they don't know what's causing it. I'm looking into booking a neurologist now. But that's gonna be a problem because those type of docs are rare as shit in my province. There's like fucking two of them.


MyNameIsCharlie | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Get of my lawn
Eli. Move on to someone else. Find someone who does reciprocate. Trust me on this. Do not stay in this hell. I was there for a long, long time. If you don't have someone, find them. Even if they're just around a little bit.

Im not stuck on one person tho

I just want to be in love, with someone who loves me. And i dont have that

I know exactly what you mean.

My advice remains the same. Find Mrs Right now, instead of holding out for Mrs Right. Even if it lasts a day, you restore your feeling of self worth. When you get that back, you can hold out or on a bit longer.

Thanks man

Youre alright, you know that

I can be stupid. I know that. But I have been there and back, and if what I have been through helps someone else, then it wasn't for nothing.

What I have learned is that doing what makes you happy is worth it. If even for a day. Life's too short to feel that way.


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I neither fear, nor despise.
Eli. Move on to someone else. Find someone who does reciprocate. Trust me on this. Do not stay in this hell. I was there for a long, long time. If you don't have someone, find them. Even if they're just around a little bit.

Im not stuck on one person tho

I just want to be in love, with someone who loves me. And i dont have that

Before finding that significant person, establish a strong foundation of friends. Just waiting til that one person comes along will drive you mad.

Everyone i know goes away in the end

Same. And I'm in a bit of a slump regarding being social. Like a buddy of mine. Gave him rides to work every day I worked, for 2 months. We hung out randomly all the time, probably at least 3 times a week.

I randomly stopped hearing from him 2 weeks ago, and frankly it sucks.


However I have other people who I can hang out with whenever I want. Basically, if I lose a friend or two it's fine, I have more. So I'm never forced to be alone. If I lose all my friends, I've got my mom and brother.

You've got tons of people talking with you right now so I'll leave it with this:

Feel loved by family and/or friends.
And love yourself, find a way because there is no reason that can't be changed that says you shouldn't.
See that you have value and meaning, because then you won't need this other person to love you.
Because before they came along you had a purpose, and after they show up you will still have a purpose.


 
Elai
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
become enamoured in facets of that person which you do not understand instead of focusing on things you have in common.

You'll find the joy of discovering a person is more powerful than cold comfort gleaned by being in synchronicity with another.

Thats all well n good but you need to connect with someome on some level to be even just friends with em

Its also pretty clear to me that the opposite attract theory of tomance is dogshit


Additionally, thanks for being somewhat serious. Though, i think youre being a bit childish when you call me unintelligent just cuz we disagree.


 
Sandtrap
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Ive been to psychs before

Theyre a waste of my time and money
They're not. You've either been to bad ones or haven't bought into what they're saying and asking you.

Well i can tell you that i did give an honesy effort buying into that stuff

I just felt like my problems were being exasberated by putting them on spotlight. For example, i would say something that made perfect sense to me amd meant one thing, and the psych would misconstrue (through no fault of her own) that i meant something else entirely

Its just not worth the money or the time

Or maybe not. Maybe they were telling you the truth.

One thing however, is that with docs, you need to voice your point very clearly.


Kiwicake | Legendary Invincible!
 
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hey


 
Elai
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Or maybe not. Maybe they were telling you the truth.

"Why did you want to come see a psychologist after all this time?"

"I really want to figure out what's wrong with me on a fundamental level so that I can do well in school, set up a bright future for myself and increase my level of communication and friendliness with my friends, peers and family. I don't want to waste my parents time or money."

"Oh, so this is all about your parents, is it?"

Quote
One thing however, is that with docs, you need to voice your point very clearly.

Well thats one of my problems yeah. I feel like im talking some basic shit but people dont understand what im saying. Its infuriating.


R o c k e t | Mythic Smash Master
 
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I neither fear, nor despise.

"Oh, so this is all about your parents, is it?"


oh my fucking god



 
Elai
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Exactly.


 
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Or maybe not. Maybe they were telling you the truth.

"Why did you want to come see a psychologist after all this time?"

"I really want to figure out what's wrong with me on a fundamental level so that I can do well in school, set up a bright future for myself and increase my level of communication and friendliness with my friends, peers and family. I don't want to waste my parents time or money."

"Oh, so this is all about your parents, is it?"

Quote
One thing however, is that with docs, you need to voice your point very clearly.

Well thats one of my problems yeah. I feel like im talking some basic shit but people dont understand what im saying. Its infuriating.

What you just posted up there is a really poor example. Dude, the first place you look is the parents. Then you look at the childhood.

Parents, whether they're there or not, give, fuck.... 90% of your traits to you. She's not wrong. That is the first place you look.
Last Edit: January 26, 2016, 01:01:43 AM by Sandtrap


 
Elai
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I mean obviously id like to find the robin williams from good will hunting of psychologists but until that point

Ehh


 
Elai
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Or maybe not. Maybe they were telling you the truth.

"Why did you want to come see a psychologist after all this time?"

"I really want to figure out what's wrong with me on a fundamental level so that I can do well in school, set up a bright future for myself and increase my level of communication and friendliness with my friends, peers and family. I don't want to waste my parents time or money."

"Oh, so this is all about your parents, is it?"

Quote
One thing however, is that with docs, you need to voice your point very clearly.

Well thats one of my problems yeah. I feel like im talking some basic shit but people dont understand what im saying. Its infuriating.

What you just posted up there is a really poor example. Dude, the first place you look is the parents. Then you look at the childhood.

Parents, whether they're there or not, give, fuck.... 90% of your traits to you.

Well im actually very different from my parents. Like, so much so that they used to joke that i was adopted.

But besides that, how do you get "its your parents fault" from what i said

Thats LITERALLY how it went down