The tradition of banter goes back a long way in Britain

 
 
Mr. Psychologist | Imperial Forum Ninja
 
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Way back when the nazis were still being a bit of a problem in europe, the theory goes that the bri'ish spies dug up some of hitler's WW1 medical records, where an examination recorded he was missing a nut. To 'drive him round the bend, whatwhat' they decided to encourage the spread of banter that mocked hitler's missing crown jewel.

One such appearance of this government sanctioned banter is this little ditty

[Introductory verse]
To the tune of 'land of hope and glory'
Tune embed for the yanks
YouTube


Quote
Land of Soap and Water
Hitler's avin a bath
Churchills lookin through the keeeeeyhole
Avin a jolly good laugh

[Bridge]
Beeeeeeeeeeecaaaaaaaauuuuuuuse

[Main verses]
To the tune of Colonel Bogey/Bridge on the River Kwai song
YouTube


Quote
Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall1
His mother, the dirty bugger
Cut it off when he was small

She threw it into a great big tree
It fell into the deep blue sea
The fishes got out their dishes
And had scallops2 and bollocks3 for tea

Footnotes for the yenks
1. Propa bri'ish exhibition hall
2. Seafood, dunno if you call them scallops across the pond or what but it's the little marshmallow looking things that cost a fortune
3. Slang for goolies, which is slang for knackers, which is slang for nuts, which is slang for testes.

If any other bongs wish to add historical banter to the thread, feel free. The next post is gonna be on the Archer's Salute™ (Historical accuracy be damned, it's banter all the same).

 
 
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen
this thread is just gross

 
 
 
Mr. Psychologist | Imperial Forum Ninja
 
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Zonda | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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‘The most inoffensive user on this website’ - Verbatim
cheeky ooga booga with the cavelads

Yu | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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>scallops
>costing a fortune

 
 
True Turquoise | MILF Hunter
 
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fuck you
Actual good ones m8

 
DAS B00T x2 | Cultural Appropriator
 
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
Scallops are fucking cheap. Your shitty government probably just taxes them to pay for your slow as shit healthcare.

 
 
 
Mr. Psychologist | Imperial Forum Ninja
 
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oh

why the hell are they cheap for you buggers then?

 
 
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fuck you
hohoho the Colonials are getting mad

 
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fuck you
Quote from: Mr. Psychologist on December 02, 2015, 01:41:03 PM
oh

why the hell are they cheap for you buggers then?
The ones they get might as well poison you

 
 
 
Mr. Psychologist | Imperial Forum Ninja
 
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tfw the best yank lads song involves their own soldiers falling out of planes to their deaths

step it up lads

 
 
 
Mr. Psychologist | Imperial Forum Ninja
 
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Quote from: True Turquoise on December 02, 2015, 01:41:53 PM
Quote from: Mr. Psychologist on December 02, 2015, 01:41:03 PM
oh

why the hell are they cheap for you buggers then?
The ones they get might as well poison you
ohh

how quaint

 
 
DAS B00T x2 | Cultural Appropriator
 
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
Quote from: Mr. Psychologist on December 02, 2015, 01:42:20 PM
tfw the best yank lads song involves their own soldiers falling out of planes to their deaths

step it up lads
uhm... that's I can't find a single mention of dying paratroopers here


    OH, I WISH I WAS IN THE LAND OF COTTON,
    OLD TIMES THERE ARE NOT FORGOTTEN.
    LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY DIXIE LAND!

    IN DIXIE'S LAND, WHERE I WAS BORN IN,
    EARLY ON ONE FROSTY MORNIN'.
    LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY DIXIE LAND!

    I WISH I WAS IN DIXIE, HOORAY! HOORAY!
    IN DIXIE'S LAND I'LL TAKE MY STAND,
    TO LIVE AND DIE IN DIXIE.
    AWAY, AWAY, AWAY DOWN SOUTH IN DIXIE!
    AWAY, AWAY, AWAY DOWN SOUTH IN DIXIE!

    THERE'S BUCKWHEAT CAKES AND INJUN BATTER,
    MAKES YOU FAT OR A LITTLE FATTER.
    LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! DIXIE LAND

    THEN HOE IT DOWN AND SCRATCH YOUR GRAVEL,
    TO DIXIE'S LAND I'M BOUND TO TRAVEL.
    LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! DIXIE LAND

    I WISH I WAS IN DIXIE, HOORAY! HOORAY!
    IN DIXIE'S LAND I'LL TAKE MY STAND,
    TO LIVE AND DIE IN DIXIE.
    AWAY, AWAY, AWAY DOWN SOUTH IN DIXIE!
    AWAY, AWAY, AWAY DOWN SOUTH IN DIXIE!

Yu | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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They're cheap because we get them by the shit load, lobster and crab is expensive, scallops aren't seen as something particularly fancy either.

 
 
DAS B00T x2 | Cultural Appropriator
 
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
Quote from: Yu on December 02, 2015, 01:49:00 PM
They're cheap because we get them by the shit load, lobster and crab is expensive, scallops aren't seen as something particularly fancy either.
yeah, but tbh I'd rather have some big ol' scalops wrapped in bacon and broiled than a lobster any day.

 
Ásgeirr | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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The angel agreed to trade a set of white wings for the head of another demon. Overjoyed, the demon killed one of his own and plucked the head right off its still-warm body.

The angel then led the demon to heaven, where he underwent centuries of the cruelest tortures imaginable. Finally, the pain was so great that he lost consciousness - at which point his dark wings turned the promised shade of white.
something something
Spoiler

Solonoid | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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When Britain annexed Wales, the King told them he would give them a prince who spoke not one word of English.

As they cheered he held up his baby son.
They were bretty butthurt.

 
 
Mr. Psychologist | Imperial Forum Ninja
 
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Quote from: DAS FOTZEZERSTÖRER on December 02, 2015, 01:45:37 PM
Quote from: Mr. Psychologist on December 02, 2015, 01:42:20 PM
tfw the best yank lads song involves their own soldiers falling out of planes to their deaths

step it up lads
uhm... that's I can't find a single mention of dying paratroopers here


    OH, I WISH I WAS IN THE LAND OF COTTON,
    OLD TIMES THERE ARE NOT FORGOTTEN.
    LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY DIXIE LAND!

    IN DIXIE'S LAND, WHERE I WAS BORN IN,
    EARLY ON ONE FROSTY MORNIN'.
    LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY DIXIE LAND!

    I WISH I WAS IN DIXIE, HOORAY! HOORAY!
    IN DIXIE'S LAND I'LL TAKE MY STAND,
    TO LIVE AND DIE IN DIXIE.
    AWAY, AWAY, AWAY DOWN SOUTH IN DIXIE!
    AWAY, AWAY, AWAY DOWN SOUTH IN DIXIE!

    THERE'S BUCKWHEAT CAKES AND INJUN BATTER,
    MAKES YOU FAT OR A LITTLE FATTER.
    LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! DIXIE LAND

    THEN HOE IT DOWN AND SCRATCH YOUR GRAVEL,
    TO DIXIE'S LAND I'M BOUND TO TRAVEL.
    LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! DIXIE LAND

    I WISH I WAS IN DIXIE, HOORAY! HOORAY!
    IN DIXIE'S LAND I'LL TAKE MY STAND,
    TO LIVE AND DIE IN DIXIE.
    AWAY, AWAY, AWAY DOWN SOUTH IN DIXIE!
    AWAY, AWAY, AWAY DOWN SOUTH IN DIXIE!
I thought it started with 'My eyes have seen the glory of...'

but okay

touché all the same

 
Yu | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Quote from: DAS FOTZEZERSTÖRER on December 02, 2015, 01:51:31 PM
Quote from: Yu on December 02, 2015, 01:49:00 PM
They're cheap because we get them by the shit load, lobster and crab is expensive, scallops aren't seen as something particularly fancy either.
yeah, but tbh I'd rather have some big ol' scalops wrapped in bacon and broiled than a lobster any day.
Those are good too, takes a delicate touch to make a lobster damn good, crab less so. I'm more of a crab guy myself, I can eat them for days.