I need Survival Tips for Britbongistan(UPDATED)

Assassin 11D7 | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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"flaming nipple chops"-Your host, the man they call Ghost.

To say, 'nothing is true', is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say, 'everything is permitted', is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic.
To all Britbongers on The Flood,
I need your help, I happen to have a friend that is planning to travel to your land for vacation this month. After Psych's "Chav thread", I am concerned that there are many dangers and cultural differences in the land that one should be prepared for. So please, what should I tell them before they embark on their travels?

Spoiler
Sincerely,
Sans Testicleese

Further information on London and Northern England would be greatly appreciated.
Last Edit: November 03, 2014, 02:47:44 PM by Assassin 11D7


slayingold | Heroic Posting Rampage
 
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Corgi is best land animal
A good way to make friends there is to go out and ask people "You want some beef m8?"
I make lot of friends this way ;3


 
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You will find out who you are not a thousand times, before you ever discover who you are. I hope you find peace in yourself and learn to love instead of hate.
Which part of britbongistan?


 
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fuck you
Just bring milk

Green cap.


clum clum | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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It's full of dangers. Keep a toothbrush handy, that'll scare em' off.


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Almost always, with moderation


Assassin 11D7 | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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"flaming nipple chops"-Your host, the man they call Ghost.

To say, 'nothing is true', is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say, 'everything is permitted', is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic.
A good way to make friends there is to go out and ask people "You want some beef m8?"
I make lot of friends this way ;3
Should you have some beef with you when you ask?


slayingold | Heroic Posting Rampage
 
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Corgi is best land animal
A good way to make friends there is to go out and ask people "You want some beef m8?"
I make lot of friends this way ;3
Should you have some beef with you when you ask?
Yes, that makes them more docile and less likely to provoke them to attack you while your in their territory


 
Mat Cauthon
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Be Irish.
They'll either be amazed or frightened.


Assassin 11D7 | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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"flaming nipple chops"-Your host, the man they call Ghost.

To say, 'nothing is true', is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say, 'everything is permitted', is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic.
A good way to make friends there is to go out and ask people "You want some beef m8?"
I make lot of friends this way ;3
Should you have some beef with you when you ask?
Yes, that makes them more docile and less likely to provoke them to attack you while your in their territory
What is the proper response to when they start speaking British at you? Is there a way to predict what the words mean?


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Moms spaghetti
Bring a gun and assert your freedom.


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
1. Don't make eye contact with the peasantry
2. Manners are always appreciated
3. Wear a chainmail hauberk to prevent knife attacks
4. If you ask someone a question that doesn't pertain to the weather or the time, expect to be stabbed.
5. If you find yourself in a Sharia Law zone, keep your head down and run like a mad bugger to save yourself from decapitation. They don't like yanks.
6. Insist that you (the USA) are responsible for singlehandedly winning both world wars at every opportunity*
7. If anyone asks you if you would like a cup of tea, you have to accept. Refusal of tea tends to result in being stabbed.
8. If by chance you can procure a hauberk then prepare to be sued for hurting people's feelings and for causing RSI when they repeatedly try to stab through the mail and are unable to.
9. Common sense doesn't apply to laws here, you will go to jail for 20 years for downloading music and 3 years for killing 6 people.
10. When it's 6bong, Hide.

*This will allow you to look like a typical yank tourist and thus not be subjected to public bongarongs when you inevitably breach etiquette.


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Be Irish.
They'll either be amazed or frightened.

Make sure you say you're in the IRA, too. They'll know what it means.


Assassin 11D7 | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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"flaming nipple chops"-Your host, the man they call Ghost.

To say, 'nothing is true', is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say, 'everything is permitted', is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic.
1. Don't make eye contact with the peasantry
2. Manners are always appreciated
3. Wear a chainmail hauberk to prevent knife attacks
4. If you ask someone a question that doesn't pertain to the weather or the time, expect to be stabbed.
5. If you find yourself in a Sharia Law zone, keep your head down and run like a mad bugger to save yourself from decapitation. They don't like yanks.
6. Insist that you (the USA) are responsible for singlehandedly winning both world wars at every opportunity*
7. If anyone asks you if you would like a cup of tea, you have to accept. Refusal of tea tends to result in being stabbed.
8. If by chance you can procure a hauberk then prepare to be sued for hurting people's feelings and for causing RSI when they repeatedly try to stab through the mail and are unable to.
9. Common sense doesn't apply to laws here, you will go to jail for 20 years for downloading music and 3 years for killing 6 people.
10. When it's 6bong, Hide.

*This will allow you to look like a typical yank tourist and thus not be subjected to public bongarongs when you inevitably breach etiquette.
Many thanks to you Imam, I will be sure to get this information to them as soon as I can.


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
Be Irish.
They'll either be amazed or frightened.

How disturbingly accurate ._.


 
Mat Cauthon
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Be Irish.
They'll either be amazed or frightened.

Make sure you say you're in the IRA, too. They'll know what it means.
Talk about car bombs too.

Spoiler
The drink of course.


 
Mat Cauthon
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Be Irish.
They'll either be amazed or frightened.

How disturbingly accurate ._.
...

Off to England, time to be feared and respected like I should be.


 
DAS B00T x2
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
1. Don't make eye contact with the peasantry
2. Manners are always appreciated
3. Wear a chainmail hauberk to prevent knife attacks
4. If you ask someone a question that doesn't pertain to the weather or the time, expect to be stabbed.
5. If you find yourself in a Sharia Law zone, keep your head down and run like a mad bugger to save yourself from decapitation. They don't like yanks.
6. Insist that you (the USA) are responsible for singlehandedly winning both world wars at every opportunity*
7. If anyone asks you if you would like a cup of tea, you have to accept. Refusal of tea tends to result in being stabbed.
8. If by chance you can procure a hauberk then prepare to be sued for hurting people's feelings and for causing RSI when they repeatedly try to stab through the mail and are unable to.
9. Common sense doesn't apply to laws here, you will go to jail for 20 years for downloading music and 3 years for killing 6 people.
10. When it's 6bong, Hide.

*This will allow you to look like a typical yank tourist and thus not be subjected to public bongarongs when you inevitably breach etiquette.
Bu chainmail is ballocks fah stabby things, mi lird. 'e should bring full plate.


 
gats
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You will find out who you are not a thousand times, before you ever discover who you are. I hope you find peace in yourself and learn to love instead of hate.
Tell people you know where Madeleine McCann is. They'll love you


 
Mat Cauthon
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Tell people you know where Madeleine McCann is. They'll love you
They'll literally flock to you.


 
gats
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You will find out who you are not a thousand times, before you ever discover who you are. I hope you find peace in yourself and learn to love instead of hate.
Tell people you know where Madeleine McCann is. They'll love you
They'll literally flock to you.
'My daughter was kidnapped please buy my book and make me a millionaire"


 
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Mat Cauthon
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Don't get beheaded by Muslims
Permadeath Run: Bongistan


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
1. Don't make eye contact with the peasantry
2. Manners are always appreciated
3. Wear a chainmail hauberk to prevent knife attacks
4. If you ask someone a question that doesn't pertain to the weather or the time, expect to be stabbed.
5. If you find yourself in a Sharia Law zone, keep your head down and run like a mad bugger to save yourself from decapitation. They don't like yanks.
6. Insist that you (the USA) are responsible for singlehandedly winning both world wars at every opportunity*
7. If anyone asks you if you would like a cup of tea, you have to accept. Refusal of tea tends to result in being stabbed.
8. If by chance you can procure a hauberk then prepare to be sued for hurting people's feelings and for causing RSI when they repeatedly try to stab through the mail and are unable to.
9. Common sense doesn't apply to laws here, you will go to jail for 20 years for downloading music and 3 years for killing 6 people.
10. When it's 6bong, Hide.

*This will allow you to look like a typical yank tourist and thus not be subjected to public bongarongs when you inevitably breach etiquette.
Bu chainmail is ballocks fah stabby things, mi lird. 'e should bring full plate.
Yes but full plate is expensive as fuuuck <_<


Assassin 11D7 | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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"flaming nipple chops"-Your host, the man they call Ghost.

To say, 'nothing is true', is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say, 'everything is permitted', is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic.
1. Don't make eye contact with the peasantry
2. Manners are always appreciated
3. Wear a chainmail hauberk to prevent knife attacks
4. If you ask someone a question that doesn't pertain to the weather or the time, expect to be stabbed.
5. If you find yourself in a Sharia Law zone, keep your head down and run like a mad bugger to save yourself from decapitation. They don't like yanks.
6. Insist that you (the USA) are responsible for singlehandedly winning both world wars at every opportunity*
7. If anyone asks you if you would like a cup of tea, you have to accept. Refusal of tea tends to result in being stabbed.
8. If by chance you can procure a hauberk then prepare to be sued for hurting people's feelings and for causing RSI when they repeatedly try to stab through the mail and are unable to.
9. Common sense doesn't apply to laws here, you will go to jail for 20 years for downloading music and 3 years for killing 6 people.
10. When it's 6bong, Hide.

*This will allow you to look like a typical yank tourist and thus not be subjected to public bongarongs when you inevitably breach etiquette.
Bu chainmail is ballocks fah stabby things, mi lird. 'e should bring full plate.
Yes but full plate is expensive as fuuuck <_<
Eh.


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
1. Don't make eye contact with the peasantry
2. Manners are always appreciated
3. Wear a chainmail hauberk to prevent knife attacks
4. If you ask someone a question that doesn't pertain to the weather or the time, expect to be stabbed.
5. If you find yourself in a Sharia Law zone, keep your head down and run like a mad bugger to save yourself from decapitation. They don't like yanks.
6. Insist that you (the USA) are responsible for singlehandedly winning both world wars at every opportunity*
7. If anyone asks you if you would like a cup of tea, you have to accept. Refusal of tea tends to result in being stabbed.
8. If by chance you can procure a hauberk then prepare to be sued for hurting people's feelings and for causing RSI when they repeatedly try to stab through the mail and are unable to.
9. Common sense doesn't apply to laws here, you will go to jail for 20 years for downloading music and 3 years for killing 6 people.
10. When it's 6bong, Hide.

*This will allow you to look like a typical yank tourist and thus not be subjected to public bongarongs when you inevitably breach etiquette.
Bu chainmail is ballocks fah stabby things, mi lird. 'e should bring full plate.
Yes but full plate is expensive as fuuuck <_<
Eh.

Well I suppose that's not too bad then <.<

But that's just a breastplate, if you went with full plate... that would be pricey <_<
And good full plate too, not just Larp crap >.>


Assassin 11D7 | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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"flaming nipple chops"-Your host, the man they call Ghost.

To say, 'nothing is true', is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile, and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say, 'everything is permitted', is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic.
1. Don't make eye contact with the peasantry
2. Manners are always appreciated
3. Wear a chainmail hauberk to prevent knife attacks
4. If you ask someone a question that doesn't pertain to the weather or the time, expect to be stabbed.
5. If you find yourself in a Sharia Law zone, keep your head down and run like a mad bugger to save yourself from decapitation. They don't like yanks.
6. Insist that you (the USA) are responsible for singlehandedly winning both world wars at every opportunity*
7. If anyone asks you if you would like a cup of tea, you have to accept. Refusal of tea tends to result in being stabbed.
8. If by chance you can procure a hauberk then prepare to be sued for hurting people's feelings and for causing RSI when they repeatedly try to stab through the mail and are unable to.
9. Common sense doesn't apply to laws here, you will go to jail for 20 years for downloading music and 3 years for killing 6 people.
10. When it's 6bong, Hide.

*This will allow you to look like a typical yank tourist and thus not be subjected to public bongarongs when you inevitably breach etiquette.
Bu chainmail is ballocks fah stabby things, mi lird. 'e should bring full plate.
Yes but full plate is expensive as fuuuck <_<
Eh.

Well I suppose that's not too bad then <.<

But that's just a breastplate, if you went with full plate... that would be pricey <_<
And good full plate too, not just Larp crap >.>
Don't suck, and you don't need anything else.

Yesh, full suit is expensive though.


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
1. Don't make eye contact with the peasantry
2. Manners are always appreciated
3. Wear a chainmail hauberk to prevent knife attacks
4. If you ask someone a question that doesn't pertain to the weather or the time, expect to be stabbed.
5. If you find yourself in a Sharia Law zone, keep your head down and run like a mad bugger to save yourself from decapitation. They don't like yanks.
6. Insist that you (the USA) are responsible for singlehandedly winning both world wars at every opportunity*
7. If anyone asks you if you would like a cup of tea, you have to accept. Refusal of tea tends to result in being stabbed.
8. If by chance you can procure a hauberk then prepare to be sued for hurting people's feelings and for causing RSI when they repeatedly try to stab through the mail and are unable to.
9. Common sense doesn't apply to laws here, you will go to jail for 20 years for downloading music and 3 years for killing 6 people.
10. When it's 6bong, Hide.

*This will allow you to look like a typical yank tourist and thus not be subjected to public bongarongs when you inevitably breach etiquette.
Bu chainmail is ballocks fah stabby things, mi lird. 'e should bring full plate.
Yes but full plate is expensive as fuuuck <_<
Eh.

Well I suppose that's not too bad then <.<

But that's just a breastplate, if you went with full plate... that would be pricey <_<
And good full plate too, not just Larp crap >.>
Don't suck, and you don't need anything else.

Yesh, full suit is expensive though.

*winces*

Ouch.

And that's in today's money, just thinking back to battles like Agincourt where the entire french nobility were decked out in the expensive shit and they all died to some archers in a mudbath. GG.

Although I'd put that down to tactical idiocy rather than the plate being shit, because it certainly isn't <.<
The good stuff shrugs off a Longbow with ease, but yeaaah >.> Stuck in the mud = Rekt.


Super Irish | Legendary Invincible!
 
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If I'm not here, I'm doing photography. Or I'm asleep. Or in lockdown. One of those three, anyway.

The current titlebar/avatar setup is just normal.
Always carry Earl Grey Tea bags at ALL times. You never know when you get stuck in a sticky situation and need to throw teabags to distract Chavs and the Landed Gentry while you scarper.

If anyone mentions London, the next sentence must, I repeat, MUST have the words "apples and pears" in it, or it is considered offensive (and you will receive a sternly worded letter within the next 2-3 working days).

NEVER call the Welsh, Northern Irish or Scottish "English", unless they assert themselves as it (though that is virtually impossible). It is tantamount to dropping your pants and shitting on their shoes.

Beers are "Pints", Pounds are "Quid" and Apartments are "Flats". Faggots are widely regarded as a British version of meatballs, so calm your tits if you are offered them by a Britistanian.

If anyone comes up to you and asks are you American in an angry tone, deny it and say you're Canadian. It'll save you the hassle (and a stabbing), plus the added bonus of that person maybe buying you a pint.

The Welsh hate the English, the Scottish hate the English, the Irish hate the English, and the English hate the English. If for some reason you have either forgotten or ran out of EG Tea Bags on your travels, quickly shout "Look! It's an Englishman!" at your assailant and run. David Cameron also will suffice.

That's all for now.
Last Edit: November 03, 2014, 02:13:31 PM by SuperIrish


 
Mat Cauthon
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Always carry Earl Grey Tea bags at ALL times. You never know when you get stuck in a sticky situation and need to throw teabags to distract Chavs and the Landed Gentry while you scarper.

If anyone mentions London, the next sentence must, I repeat, MUST have the words "apples and pears" in it, or it is considered offensive (and you will receive a sternly worded letter within the next 2-3 working days).


NEVER call the Welsh, Northern Irish or Scottish "English", unless they assert themselves as it (though that is virtually impossible). It is tantamount to dropping your pants and shitting on their shoes.

Beers are "Pints", Pounds are "Quid" and Apartments are "Flats". Faggots are widely regarded as a British version of meatballs, so calm your tits if you are offered them by a Britistanian.

If anyone comes up to you and asks are you American in an angry tone, deny it and say you're Canadian. It'll save you the hassle (and a stabbing), plus the added bonus of that person maybe buying you a pint.

That's all for now.
10/10