I need a drink.

Jive Turkey | Mythic Invincible!
 
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Get some expensive Cognac and bump Dr Dre you'll feel like a g


Mordo | Mythic Invincible!
 
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emigrate or degenerate. the choice is yours

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me about these stronger ciders which renders them "hard."
Last Edit: June 02, 2015, 07:01:55 PM by Madman Mordo


 
DAS B00T x2
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
Stop being such a fucking Englishman.


Mordo | Mythic Invincible!
 
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emigrate or degenerate. the choice is yours

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
Stop being such a fucking Englishman.
*Pictish


Coomer | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
I can go to the store and buy apple cider if I'm 12. I can't do that if I'm buying hard cider.


 
DAS B00T x2
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
Stop being such a fucking Englishman.
*Pictish
So uncivilized...


Septy | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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See you Cowgirl,
Someday, somewhere
Mead, it's like wine made with honey instead of grapes. you can expect it to be about 10%-20% alcohol by volume, found a nice brand that puts black currants in theirs.
Mead is so hard to come by in the south  :'(


Mordo | Mythic Invincible!
 
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emigrate or degenerate. the choice is yours

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
I can go to the store and buy apple cider if I'm 12. I can't do that if I'm buying hard cider.
Either this is a burgerclap law I'm unaware of or "apple cider" is a codename for a non alcoholic drink in burgerland. Either way, apple cider in bongland is most certainly illegal to anyone under the age of 18, and it's not "hard" either.
Last Edit: June 02, 2015, 07:02:33 PM by Madman Mordo


 
𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
I can go to the store and buy apple cider if I'm 12. I can't do that if I'm buying hard cider.
Either this is a burgerclap law I'm unaware of or "apple cider" is a codename for a non alcoholic drink in burgerland. Either way, apple cider in bongland is most certainly illegal to anyone under the age of 18, and it's not "hard" either.
Cider is like apple juice here. Kids love it. You usually buy a bunch from the apple orchard in the fall.

So I have no idea what you're talking about. It's non-alcoholic.


🂿 | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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So I have no idea what you're talking about. It's non-alcoholic.

The one I had was 25% alcohol by volume. I don't know what that exactly means but 1 bottle got me buzzed.


Mordo | Mythic Invincible!
 
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emigrate or degenerate. the choice is yours

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
I can go to the store and buy apple cider if I'm 12. I can't do that if I'm buying hard cider.
Either this is a burgerclap law I'm unaware of or "apple cider" is a codename for a non alcoholic drink in burgerland. Either way, apple cider in bongland is most certainly illegal to anyone under the age of 18, and it's not "hard" either.
Cider is like apple juice here. Kids love it. You usually buy a bunch from the apple orchard in the fall.

So I have no idea what you're talking about. It's non-alcoholic.
Yeah we just call apple juice, apple juice. No idea why you would call it cider if kids drink it, seeing as how cider is usually associated with alcoholic beverages.


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
Alcohol is a worse evil than ISIS-Eboloid-Nazi-Vampires.

One drop and you go to hell.


 
𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
I can go to the store and buy apple cider if I'm 12. I can't do that if I'm buying hard cider.
Either this is a burgerclap law I'm unaware of or "apple cider" is a codename for a non alcoholic drink in burgerland. Either way, apple cider in bongland is most certainly illegal to anyone under the age of 18, and it's not "hard" either.
Cider is like apple juice here. Kids love it. You usually buy a bunch from the apple orchard in the fall.

So I have no idea what you're talking about. It's non-alcoholic.
Yeah we just call apple juice, apple juice. No idea why you would call it cider if kids drink it, seeing as how cider is usually associated with alcoholic beverages.
It's not apple juice. It's apple cider.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_cider

Jeez, just read the first two sentences of that article if you're so adamant against this.


 
Verbatim
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it's like root beer, mordo

unless you don't have that either


Mordo | Mythic Invincible!
 
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emigrate or degenerate. the choice is yours

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
I can go to the store and buy apple cider if I'm 12. I can't do that if I'm buying hard cider.
Either this is a burgerclap law I'm unaware of or "apple cider" is a codename for a non alcoholic drink in burgerland. Either way, apple cider in bongland is most certainly illegal to anyone under the age of 18, and it's not "hard" either.
Cider is like apple juice here. Kids love it. You usually buy a bunch from the apple orchard in the fall.

So I have no idea what you're talking about. It's non-alcoholic.
Yeah we just call apple juice, apple juice. No idea why you would call it cider if kids drink it, seeing as how cider is usually associated with alcoholic beverages.
It's not apple juice. It's apple cider.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_cider

Jeez, just read the first two sentences of that article if you're so adamant against this.
It's basically just apple juice m9.

You can stop beating around the bush.


 
𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔
| 𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒏
 
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
I can go to the store and buy apple cider if I'm 12. I can't do that if I'm buying hard cider.
Either this is a burgerclap law I'm unaware of or "apple cider" is a codename for a non alcoholic drink in burgerland. Either way, apple cider in bongland is most certainly illegal to anyone under the age of 18, and it's not "hard" either.
Cider is like apple juice here. Kids love it. You usually buy a bunch from the apple orchard in the fall.

So I have no idea what you're talking about. It's non-alcoholic.
Yeah we just call apple juice, apple juice. No idea why you would call it cider if kids drink it, seeing as how cider is usually associated with alcoholic beverages.
It's not apple juice. It's apple cider.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_cider

Jeez, just read the first two sentences of that article if you're so adamant against this.
It's basically just apple juice m9.

You can stop beating around the bush.
They're objectively two different things. This isn't a matter of opinion.


🂿 | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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Alcohol is a worse evil than ISIS-Eboloid-Nazi-Vampires.

One drop and you go to hell.

Oh I'm already going to hell. Not believing in god has already set that stone long ago.


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
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<.<
Alcohol is a worse evil than ISIS-Eboloid-Nazi-Vampires.

One drop and you go to hell.

Oh I'm already going to hell. Not believing in god has already set that stone long ago.

Well it is never too late to repent and ask the omnissiah's forgiveness.
You might have to give up a few organs in favour of the machine replacements, but that's more of a blessing than a curse.


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
This user has been blacklisted from posting on the forums. Until the blacklist is lifted, all posts made by this user have been hidden and require a Sep7agon® SecondClass Premium Membership to view.


 
DAS B00T x2
| Cultural Appropriator
 
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
I can go to the store and buy apple cider if I'm 12. I can't do that if I'm buying hard cider.
Either this is a burgerclap law I'm unaware of or "apple cider" is a codename for a non alcoholic drink in burgerland. Either way, apple cider in bongland is most certainly illegal to anyone under the age of 18, and it's not "hard" either.
Cider is like apple juice here. Kids love it. You usually buy a bunch from the apple orchard in the fall.

So I have no idea what you're talking about. It's non-alcoholic.
Yeah we just call apple juice, apple juice. No idea why you would call it cider if kids drink it, seeing as how cider is usually associated with alcoholic beverages.
Apple juice and apple cider are both fruit beverages made from apples, but there is a difference between the two. Fresh cider is raw apple juice that has not undergone a filtration process to remove coarse particles of pulp or sediment. It takes about one third of a bushel to make a gallon of cider.

To make fresh cider, apples are washed, cut and ground into a mash that is the consistency of applesauce. Layers of mash are wrapped in cloth, and put into wooded racks. A hydraulic press squeezes the layers, and the juice flows into refrigerated tanks. This juice is
bottled as apple cider.

Apple juice is juice that has been filtered to remove solids and pasteurized so that it will stay fresh longer. Vacuum sealing and additional filtering extend the shelf life of the juice.
- some Massachusetts government website


🂿 | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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Alcohol is a worse evil than ISIS-Eboloid-Nazi-Vampires.

One drop and you go to hell.

Oh I'm already going to hell. Not believing in god has already set that stone long ago.

Well it is never too late to repent and ask the omnissiah's forgiveness.
You might have to give up a few organs in favour of the machine replacements, but that's more of a blessing than a curse.

No thanks. I'll take my chances with Satan.


Mordo | Mythic Invincible!
 
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emigrate or degenerate. the choice is yours

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
I can go to the store and buy apple cider if I'm 12. I can't do that if I'm buying hard cider.
Either this is a burgerclap law I'm unaware of or "apple cider" is a codename for a non alcoholic drink in burgerland. Either way, apple cider in bongland is most certainly illegal to anyone under the age of 18, and it's not "hard" either.
Cider is like apple juice here. Kids love it. You usually buy a bunch from the apple orchard in the fall.

So I have no idea what you're talking about. It's non-alcoholic.
Yeah we just call apple juice, apple juice. No idea why you would call it cider if kids drink it, seeing as how cider is usually associated with alcoholic beverages.
Apple juice and apple cider are both fruit beverages made from apples, but there is a difference between the two. Fresh cider is raw apple juice that has not undergone a filtration process to remove coarse particles of pulp or sediment. It takes about one third of a bushel to make a gallon of cider.

To make fresh cider, apples are washed, cut and ground into a mash that is the consistency of applesauce. Layers of mash are wrapped in cloth, and put into wooded racks. A hydraulic press squeezes the layers, and the juice flows into refrigerated tanks. This juice is
bottled as apple cider.

Apple juice is juice that has been filtered to remove solids and pasteurized so that it will stay fresh longer. Vacuum sealing and additional filtering extend the shelf life of the juice.
- some Massachusetts government website
Yeah we just call that Apple juice with "bits" in bongistan so we don't confuse it with actual cider.


 
𝑺𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔
| 𝑪𝒂𝒓𝒎𝒆𝒏
 
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30,019 posts
"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
I can go to the store and buy apple cider if I'm 12. I can't do that if I'm buying hard cider.
Either this is a burgerclap law I'm unaware of or "apple cider" is a codename for a non alcoholic drink in burgerland. Either way, apple cider in bongland is most certainly illegal to anyone under the age of 18, and it's not "hard" either.
Cider is like apple juice here. Kids love it. You usually buy a bunch from the apple orchard in the fall.

So I have no idea what you're talking about. It's non-alcoholic.
Yeah we just call apple juice, apple juice. No idea why you would call it cider if kids drink it, seeing as how cider is usually associated with alcoholic beverages.
Apple juice and apple cider are both fruit beverages made from apples, but there is a difference between the two. Fresh cider is raw apple juice that has not undergone a filtration process to remove coarse particles of pulp or sediment. It takes about one third of a bushel to make a gallon of cider.

To make fresh cider, apples are washed, cut and ground into a mash that is the consistency of applesauce. Layers of mash are wrapped in cloth, and put into wooded racks. A hydraulic press squeezes the layers, and the juice flows into refrigerated tanks. This juice is
bottled as apple cider.

Apple juice is juice that has been filtered to remove solids and pasteurized so that it will stay fresh longer. Vacuum sealing and additional filtering extend the shelf life of the juice.
- some Massachusetts government website
Yeah we just call that Apple juice with "bits" in bongistan so we don't confuse it with actual cider.
That's dumb.

Having the apple cider/hard cider distinction is cleaner and makes more sense.


 
 
Mr. Psychologist
| Imperial Forum Ninja
 
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17,215 posts
<.<
Alcohol is a worse evil than ISIS-Eboloid-Nazi-Vampires.

One drop and you go to hell.

Oh I'm already going to hell. Not believing in god has already set that stone long ago.

Well it is never too late to repent and ask the omnissiah's forgiveness.
You might have to give up a few organs in favour of the machine replacements, but that's more of a blessing than a curse.

No thanks. I'll take my chances with Satan.
There is no Satan though, you simply get your soul eaten by the warp and then you cease to exist.

Repent and find immortality in the machine.


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Toys are hereby declared:
ILLEGAL
IMMORAL
UNLAWFUL
 anyone found with a TOY in his possession will be
placed under ARREST and thrown in the DUNGEON!
No kidding!               🅱
I'm debating if I should make a drink.
But I think I'll get sad if I do.


Mordo | Mythic Invincible!
 
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emigrate or degenerate. the choice is yours

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
I can go to the store and buy apple cider if I'm 12. I can't do that if I'm buying hard cider.
Either this is a burgerclap law I'm unaware of or "apple cider" is a codename for a non alcoholic drink in burgerland. Either way, apple cider in bongland is most certainly illegal to anyone under the age of 18, and it's not "hard" either.
Cider is like apple juice here. Kids love it. You usually buy a bunch from the apple orchard in the fall.

So I have no idea what you're talking about. It's non-alcoholic.
Yeah we just call apple juice, apple juice. No idea why you would call it cider if kids drink it, seeing as how cider is usually associated with alcoholic beverages.
Apple juice and apple cider are both fruit beverages made from apples, but there is a difference between the two. Fresh cider is raw apple juice that has not undergone a filtration process to remove coarse particles of pulp or sediment. It takes about one third of a bushel to make a gallon of cider.

To make fresh cider, apples are washed, cut and ground into a mash that is the consistency of applesauce. Layers of mash are wrapped in cloth, and put into wooded racks. A hydraulic press squeezes the layers, and the juice flows into refrigerated tanks. This juice is
bottled as apple cider.

Apple juice is juice that has been filtered to remove solids and pasteurized so that it will stay fresh longer. Vacuum sealing and additional filtering extend the shelf life of the juice.
- some Massachusetts government website
Yeah we just call that Apple juice with "bits" in bongistan so we don't confuse it with actual cider.
That's dumb.

Having the apple cider/hard cider distinction is cleaner and makes more sense.
Not really.

Why would you want a children's drink conflated with an alcoholic drink?


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Your love gets me so high
alcohol is a depressant and is only going to make you feel worse, especially since you're in a bad mood.

honestly just smoke a bowl, i'm telling you that you will feel so much more relaxed


 
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This is not the greatest sig in the world, no. This is just a tribute.
I'm debating if I should make a drink.
But I think I'll get sad if I do.
ayy boi, we should drink tomorrow.

I think I have kahlua


 
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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
—Judge Aaron Satie
——Carmen

>hard cider
>judging people for their taste in alcohol
How can I judge something that doesn't even exist?
::)

Good one?
Please tell me all the different kinds of "hard ciders" there are then.
Alcoholic cider...

There's apple cider, which is non-alcoholic, and then hard cider, which is alcoholic. This isn't a difficult concept.
lmao what are you talking about.

Apple cider is distilled from apples, making it alcoholic or non alcoholic depending on the distiller. Same can be applied to literally any alcoholic drink.

Cider usually comes in 4-7% range. Please tell me of about these stronger ciders, which renders them "hard."
I can go to the store and buy apple cider if I'm 12. I can't do that if I'm buying hard cider.
Either this is a burgerclap law I'm unaware of or "apple cider" is a codename for a non alcoholic drink in burgerland. Either way, apple cider in bongland is most certainly illegal to anyone under the age of 18, and it's not "hard" either.
Cider is like apple juice here. Kids love it. You usually buy a bunch from the apple orchard in the fall.

So I have no idea what you're talking about. It's non-alcoholic.
Yeah we just call apple juice, apple juice. No idea why you would call it cider if kids drink it, seeing as how cider is usually associated with alcoholic beverages.
Apple juice and apple cider are both fruit beverages made from apples, but there is a difference between the two. Fresh cider is raw apple juice that has not undergone a filtration process to remove coarse particles of pulp or sediment. It takes about one third of a bushel to make a gallon of cider.

To make fresh cider, apples are washed, cut and ground into a mash that is the consistency of applesauce. Layers of mash are wrapped in cloth, and put into wooded racks. A hydraulic press squeezes the layers, and the juice flows into refrigerated tanks. This juice is
bottled as apple cider.

Apple juice is juice that has been filtered to remove solids and pasteurized so that it will stay fresh longer. Vacuum sealing and additional filtering extend the shelf life of the juice.
- some Massachusetts government website
Yeah we just call that Apple juice with "bits" in bongistan so we don't confuse it with actual cider.
That's dumb.

Having the apple cider/hard cider distinction is cleaner and makes more sense.
Not really.

Why would you want a children's drink conflated with an alcoholic drink?
"Cider" doesn't mean alcohol, in and of itself. That's hard cider. Like hard lemonade.