Am I selfish for thinking this?

It's been a month since I've been laid.


Al Baghdadi has been sick, and I have been a good boyfriend in helping her with her kid, cleaning, cooking, running to the store etc...

But I haven't been laid now since New Years, and it's starting to get frustrating. I'd never voice it, she had fucking pneumonia, so it's not her fault. But goddamn, a man's gotta fuck.

Talk to her than you fucking retard

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Okay so you remember all the time it took until you first had sex? Knowing you, I'd say it's somewhere in the 17-19 range.

Pretty long stretch of years right?

Couple more months won't kill you. And you'll appreciate it more when the wait's over.

Talk to her than you fucking retard

She's getting over pneumonia. That takes me from thinking selfish thoughts to being actually selfish.

Go have a wank until she's better you pest.

Okay so you remember all the time it took until you first had sex? Knowing you, I'd say it's somewhere in the 17-19 range.

Pretty long stretch of years right?

Couple more months won't kill you. And you'll appreciate it more when the wait's over.

True, but to be more accurate it takes about 5-7 years. You can only really start counting from your first sexual boner. Until that happens it's not even a possibility.

Yes

I haven't been laid in 19 years

Go have a wank until she's better you pest.

What the hell do you think I've been doing? My nuts would explode if I waited.

Talk to her than you fucking retard

She's getting over pneumonia. That takes me from thinking selfish thoughts to being actually selfish.

Than wait until she's better and than talk to her

Okay so you remember all the time it took until you first had sex? Knowing you, I'd say it's somewhere in the 17-19 range.

Pretty long stretch of years right?

Couple more months won't kill you. And you'll appreciate it more when the wait's over.

True, but to be more accurate it takes about 5-7 years. You can only really start counting from your first sexual boner. Until that happens it's not even a possibility.

5-7 years is still a bit of a stretch.

Go have a wank until she's better you pest.

What the hell do you think I've been doing? My nuts would explode if I waited.

Well go stroke your jam roll some more then

Find someone else

Fleshlight, bro.

Actually no, forget the feshlighs, 'cause we're taking this to a whole nother level

Spoiler

Cheat on her

Fuck a jalapeño

Honestly, everyone plays with selfish thoughts

The challenge is to not submit to them

Be strong lil nigga

Marry her, then you can have sex any time you want.