AMA I hate my life

πŸ‚Ώ | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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Just Ama. whatever.


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Me too


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Me too

Not really a question but whatever


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whatever.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
Why? You might not have the best self esteem, but you still have a good life. You have people who care about you.


Jive Turkey | Mythic Invincible!
 
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whatever.
look dude I'm sure whatever problem you have isn't as bad as you're making it out to be. The thing is you have a tendency to act like you're so above any suggestion to fix it, it's pointless to even recommend anything to u cause you won't take the advice anyways


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Why? You might not have the best self esteem, but you still have a good life. You have people who care about you.

There are a number of factors as to why. First things first my perception of reality feels completely off. Each day I wake up I'm like "oh great, life again." because I don't really have anything good going for me, knowing that I'm pretty much waiting for the inevitable. If anything its a struggle, sometimes I wish I was somebody else, I'm not content with the person I am, the condition I have, and the fact that I can't joke around and grasp sarcasm with others. People who watch The Big Bang Theory always compare me to Sheldon and that gets really annoying.

On top of that I'm growing tired of being an introvert and being in front of my computer nearly all day, but I have no where to go, I don't have club meetings until Friday and I only go to school once a week now since my financial aid has been cut and I can't handle more than 12 units unless I'm ready to torture myself each semester. I'm living in limbo basically and the toughest challenge right now is how to get out of limbo. I've also been losing interest in video games overall including game development itself. I'm having a shift between playing music and wanting to make video games, music coming back to my life with the guitar is like visiting an old friend in a sense, with that said I still want to finish what I started at the club, I just don't know what to do with my life anymore.

Granted, I have people that care about me, believe me I am grateful for that. But I feel like saying it and actually caring are two different things. Maybe I think too deep but I always feel like people secretly have to hide something about me that they rather not admit to me at face value. I mean my ex said she cared and I'll never truly know if she really did or not, I know I cared about her. I've just been really jaded and find it really hard to enjoy anything anymore.

Oh and therapy isn't really working. I feel like the therapist wants me to be someone that I'm not to a degree.

I know everyone here has problems of there own, but sometimes I feel like people here in some way, have things going much better than I ever will.
Last Edit: April 26, 2016, 02:14:09 AM by Decimator Omega


πŸ‚Ώ | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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whatever.
look dude I'm sure whatever problem you have isn't as bad as you're making it out to be. The thing is you have a tendency to act like you're so above any suggestion to fix it, it's pointless to even recommend anything to u cause you won't take the advice anyways

That's where your wrong. I take suggestions, I just don't like the suggestions you provide tbh.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
Why? You might not have the best self esteem, but you still have a good life. You have people who care about you.

There are a number of factors as to why. First things first my perception of reality feels completely off. Each day I wake up I'm like "oh great, life again." because I don't really have anything good going for me, knowing that I'm pretty much waiting for the inevitable. If anything its a struggle, sometimes I wish I was somebody else, I'm not content with the person I am, the condition I have, and the fact that I can't joke around and grasp sarcasm with others. People who watch The Big Bang Theory always compare me to Sheldon and that gets really annoying.

On top of that I'm growing tired of being an introvert and being in front of my computer nearly all day, but I have no where to go, I don't have club meetings until Friday and I only go to school once a week now since my financial aid has been cut and I can't handle more than 12 units unless I'm ready to torture myself each semester. I'm living in limbo basically and the toughest challenge right now is how to get out of limbo. I've also been losing interest in video games overall including game development itself. I'm having a shift between playing music and wanting to make video games, music coming back to my life with the guitar is like visiting an old friend in a sense, with that said I still want to finish what I started at the club, I just don't know what to do with my life anymore.

Granted, I have people that care about me, believe me I am grateful for that. But I feel like saying it and actually caring are two different things. Maybe I think too deep but I always feel like people secretly have to hide something about me that they rather not admit to me at face value. I mean my ex said she cared and I'll never truly know if she really did or not, I know I cared about her. I've just been really jaded and find it really hard to enjoy anything anymore.

Oh and therapy isn't really working. I feel like the therapist wants me to be someone that I'm not to a degree.

I know everyone here has problems of there own, but sometimes I feel like people here in some way, have things going much better than I ever will.
Sounds like you're just in a rut, why should that make you hate your whole life?

Honestly, people in general are less underhanded than commonly believed. They're blunt and rude for the most part. If someone didn't like you, they'd probably just say it. And if someone says they care about you and yet there's nothing they can gain from you, they're probably being sincere.

The only question you have to ask yourself is whether you're being sincere. Are you acting as yourself, presenting to others who you really are? If so, any care or positive comments anyone gives you are legitimate. If not, they're only caring about who you're pretending to be. And yet sometimes you have to pretend. That's the big paradox.


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Why? You might not have the best self esteem, but you still have a good life. You have people who care about you.

There are a number of factors as to why. First things first my perception of reality feels completely off. Each day I wake up I'm like "oh great, life again." because I don't really have anything good going for me, knowing that I'm pretty much waiting for the inevitable. If anything its a struggle, sometimes I wish I was somebody else, I'm not content with the person I am, the condition I have, and the fact that I can't joke around and grasp sarcasm with others. People who watch The Big Bang Theory always compare me to Sheldon and that gets really annoying.

On top of that I'm growing tired of being an introvert and being in front of my computer nearly all day, but I have no where to go, I don't have club meetings until Friday and I only go to school once a week now since my financial aid has been cut and I can't handle more than 12 units unless I'm ready to torture myself each semester. I'm living in limbo basically and the toughest challenge right now is how to get out of limbo. I've also been losing interest in video games overall including game development itself. I'm having a shift between playing music and wanting to make video games, music coming back to my life with the guitar is like visiting an old friend in a sense, with that said I still want to finish what I started at the club, I just don't know what to do with my life anymore.

Granted, I have people that care about me, believe me I am grateful for that. But I feel like saying it and actually caring are two different things. Maybe I think too deep but I always feel like people secretly have to hide something about me that they rather not admit to me at face value. I mean my ex said she cared and I'll never truly know if she really did or not, I know I cared about her. I've just been really jaded and find it really hard to enjoy anything anymore.

Oh and therapy isn't really working. I feel like the therapist wants me to be someone that I'm not to a degree.

I know everyone here has problems of there own, but sometimes I feel like people here in some way, have things going much better than I ever will.
Sounds like you're just in a rut, why should that make you hate your whole life?

Honestly, people in general are less underhanded than commonly believed. They're blunt and rude for the most part. If someone didn't like you, they'd probably just say it. And if someone says they care about you and yet there's nothing they can gain from you, they're probably being sincere.

The only question you have to ask yourself is whether you're being sincere. Are you acting as yourself, presenting to others who you really are? If so, any care or positive comments anyone gives you are legitimate. If not, they're only caring about who you're pretending to be. And yet sometimes you have to pretend. That's the big paradox.

I guess you can say I've been in a rut my entire life really. I've had irl "friends" pretty much stab me in the back or use me for something, I didn't get on forums and basically live on the net until I was 16 when I joined Bungie. It was a nice escape.

I'm pretty blunt myself, I mean unless I'm in a professional environment like in class or work, I tell it like it is. I am always myself. I can't pretend to be this. Its really hard for me to lie, I'm a really horrible liar and it shows when I lie.


πŸ‚Ώ | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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Thing is its just really hard to keep contentment. In one way or another, I just feel like I keep failing someway somehow.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
Thing is its just really hard to keep contentment. In one way or another, I just feel like I keep failing someway somehow.
Failing in what? Do you feel like you have to garner accomplishments to be content?


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Thing is its just really hard to keep contentment. In one way or another, I just feel like I keep failing someway somehow.
Failing in what? Do you feel like you have to garner accomplishments to be content?

No. I just feel like I'm failing overall as a person. Like no matter whatever decide to do, may it be have a new job, go to school, its never enough and it will never be enough. I could be just thinking too hard on all this but everyday its rather the same deal, I don't have anything exciting going on.

For once I'd love to take a vacation and just leave the city and go up to Northern California, but lack of time and money prevents that. I don't know if that will clear my head though. I have never traveled anywhere really and I've been in this city my entire life.

I don't know what to feel and what I should do about it. I think it has more to do with that craving of escape again, which websites like these give us that illusion imho.


Coomer | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Waiting for the weekly suicide thread because you ate a donut again


 
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You will find out who you are not a thousand times, before you ever discover who you are. I hope you find peace in yourself and learn to love instead of hate.
Same


Korra | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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uhhh...

- korrie
So, what's up with magnets? How do they work?


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
Thing is its just really hard to keep contentment. In one way or another, I just feel like I keep failing someway somehow.
Failing in what? Do you feel like you have to garner accomplishments to be content?

No. I just feel like I'm failing overall as a person. Like no matter whatever decide to do, may it be have a new job, go to school, its never enough and it will never be enough. I could be just thinking too hard on all this but everyday its rather the same deal, I don't have anything exciting going on.
Sounds like an internal thing, which is lucky for you. Obviously it's still a big deal, but something that can be changed with perspective. I said it earlier ITT and I'll say it again: most of your problems seem to come down to self-esteem. You lack confidence and love for yourself, which is why you feel like you're failing no matter what you do. It's a vicious cycle in a way - self-esteem is largely tied to personal success, which is hard to recognize if you have low self-esteem.

You really just need to work on yourself, and forget the external shit. Once you are content with yourself as a person, you can be content with the world. And for you specifically, I think you just need to lower your expectations. You're not perfect, and people will always disappoint you. Learning to expect the very least from people and to accept your own limitations is going to bring you closer to reality, and the reality is that you're not a failure or bad at being a person. You just have autism, low self-esteem, and bad experiences with people, which naturally manifests into a desire to escape. But even if you took the longest vacation in the world, it wouldn't help a thing.


 
Naru
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The Rage....
same tbh


πŸ‚Ώ | Mythic Unfrigginbelievable!
 
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So, what's up with magnets? How do they work?

Postive and negative forces attract bringing them together whole a 2 negative forces and 2 positive forces against each other causes them to repel one another.

Thing is its just really hard to keep contentment. In one way or another, I just feel like I keep failing someway somehow.
Failing in what? Do you feel like you have to garner accomplishments to be content?

No. I just feel like I'm failing overall as a person. Like no matter whatever decide to do, may it be have a new job, go to school, its never enough and it will never be enough. I could be just thinking too hard on all this but everyday its rather the same deal, I don't have anything exciting going on.
Sounds like an internal thing, which is lucky for you. Obviously it's still a big deal, but something that can be changed with perspective. I said it earlier ITT and I'll say it again: most of your problems seem to come down to self-esteem. You lack confidence and love for yourself, which is why you feel like you're failing no matter what you do. It's a vicious cycle in a way - self-esteem is largely tied to personal success, which is hard to recognize if you have low self-esteem.

You really just need to work on yourself, and forget the external shit. Once you are content with yourself as a person, you can be content with the world. And for you specifically, I think you just need to lower your expectations. You're not perfect, and people will always disappoint you. Learning to expect the very least from people and to accept your own limitations is going to bring you closer to reality, and the reality is that you're not a failure or bad at being a person. You just have autism, low self-esteem, and bad experiences with people, which naturally manifests into a desire to escape. But even if you took the longest vacation in the world, it wouldn't help a thing.

I see. Well, I can try that, see if it works out or not. Just not expect anything from anybody anymore and whatnot. I mean I used to have a pretty high self esteem in high school. I don't know what went wrong.


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Why? You might not have the best self esteem, but you still have a good life. You have people who care about you.

There are a number of factors as to why. First things first my perception of reality feels completely off. Each day I wake up I'm like "oh great, life again." because I don't really have anything good going for me, knowing that I'm pretty much waiting for the inevitable. If anything its a struggle, sometimes I wish I was somebody else

Sounds like you're depressed fam. Get a new hobby and stop shitposting on niche internet forums.

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I'm not content with the person I am, the condition I have, and the fact that I can't joke around and grasp sarcasm with others. People who watch The Big Bang Theory always compare me to Sheldon and that gets really annoying.

Bazango

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On top of that I'm growing tired of being an introvert and being in front of my computer nearly all day, but I have no where to go,

Deci, open your front door. Go for a walk.

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I've also been losing interest in video games overall including game development itself. I'm having a shift between playing music and wanting to make video games, music coming back to my life with the guitar is like visiting an old friend in a sense, with that said I still want to finish what I started at the club, I just don't know what to do with my life anymore.


Why not develop music for games? Download FL studio and a bunch of plugins and go to town. You can make some really amazing stuff when you combine a real guitar with that stuff. The composer Kevin Keiner does something very similar. He uses all computerized instruments through FL studio, but adds in his own strings occasionally. Good example is around 2 minutes.

YouTube


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Maybe I think too deep but I always feel like people secretly have to hide something about me that they rather not admit to me at face value.

The world doesn't revolve around you Deci. I don't know you, and I don't care about you. I can say that you seem to be a young and angsty person with emotional trust issues. No one is secretly talking about you behind your back except for maybe your parents, wondering why their son never goes outside. No one cares that much Deci. But let's say for a moment they do.

Why does it matter? Why are you letting what others could possibly think of you matter? You're probably reading what I say and are thinking I'm being a dick or something and you don't care what I have to say. That's good, now think like that to everybody. No one matters except you.

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I mean my ex said she cared and I'll never truly know if she really did or not, I know I cared about her. I've just been really jaded and find it really hard to enjoy anything anymore.

If she cared, then she wouldn't be your ex, would she?

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Oh and therapy isn't really working. I feel like the therapist wants me to be someone that I'm not to a degree.

Well, you have to push to be someone else, because "you" aren't working obviously.

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I know everyone here has problems of there own, but sometimes I feel like people here in some way, have things going much better than I ever will.

You're not a special snowflake. You live in a first world country and have a college level education and are well fed and housed. Billions of people have it worse then you. Trillions have lived through worse than you. Man up.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
Man up.
Literally the worst thing you can say to someone like this. You need to grow up.


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Long live NoNolesNeckin.

Ya fuckin' ganderneck.
Hey I'm a deadeat, AND I'm sick af, so tell the hate to fuck off and muster up that resolve already.


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Man up.
Literally the worst thing you can say to someone like this. You need to grow up.

What else should you say? Go to therapy? He already is. The only thing left he can do is forcefully get his mind over it with help from his therapist. Or in simpler terms, man-up.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
Man up.
Literally the worst thing you can say to someone like this. You need to grow up.

What else should you say? Go to therapy? He already is. The only thing left he can do is forcefully get his mind over it with help from his therapist. Or in simpler terms, man-up.
He shouldn't be changing who he is or denying his emotions. He should be expecting less from everything, it's obvious that he has inappropriately high standards for himself and everyone else. I'll admit you're right when you say he's paranoid about others' opinions of him, but that's just another example of him being needlessly self-critical. That's what he needs to work on, not "manning up".


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uhhh...

- korrie
"Somebody To Love" - Queen


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Therapists try to change the way you respond to situations which cause distress; they are trying to change you into someone else... someone more capable of dealing with your problems. If you think the therapy is failing it might indicate that you're not making enough of a commitment to change. 


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Long live NoNolesNeckin.

Ya fuckin' ganderneck.
lack of will=lack of change


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He shouldn't be changing who he is or denying his emotions.


If he can't socialize, function like a normal person, and is depressed then yes he should. Straight outa Tumblr, are we?

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He should be expecting less from everything, it's obvious that he has inappropriately high standards for himself and everyone else.

He has never gone into specific detail about that, so I don't think you can accurately say that. Unless you count not wanting a druggy party-prone whore as a romantic partner as a "high standard", in which case you are a degenerate.

His issue is not high standards. Everyone should have high standards. It's how he reacts when those standards aren't met.
 
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I'll admit you're right when you say he's paranoid about others' opinions of him, but that's just another example of him being needlessly self-critical.

That's not being self-critical, it's just negative self obsession. And yes there is a difference. Criticism is... well, criticism. He's just attacking himself.


Frankly, Deci is a depressed self-loathing narcissist who wants a qt3.14159265359 american value gf and doesn't want anything bad to come his way. Well, life isn't like that, and pouting about it isn't going to do anything. Attend therapy. Change therapists if needed. Man up.
Last Edit: April 26, 2016, 10:07:53 PM by Dapper Droid


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
You're not helping anyone. People like him don't respond well to insensitive and simplying pieces of advice like "man up". It's actually pretty belittling and condescending. Even if that's your message, there are far smarter ways to say it.