i've been thinking a bit about friendship lately.

 
Elai
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and i think you can only really be someone's friend if you support them in everything -- even when they're wrong.

for example, a friend of mine is routinely cheating on his wife. now, i personally wouldn't do something like that and i think it's wrong, but truly having someone's back and being loyal, to me, is more important than doing what is maybe the morally right thing to do. because he would for me.

and i think that's what defines friendship. it's almost an extension of family, really. i would never want to put one of my friends in a morally ambiguous position but i'd like to think there's a few i could absolutely go to with any of my problems for help.

just something i've been tossing around lately.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
Exactly.


 
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
And i think a lot of people (here in particular) have never actually felt a real friendship like that... you may share similar interests or backgrounds but you don't have the camaraderie that some of the "bad people" of the world have. When it comes down to it, those people won't be there for you.


Ingy | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Being friends doesn't lock you in to some inescapable relationship

If a friend of mine starts cheating on his wife, I would disapprove and if he continued on that line of behavior, we would probably not be friends anymore
Loyalty doesn't mean just accepting anything they do


 
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Nah, fuck that.


 
Elai
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Loyalty doesn't mean just accepting anything they do

yeah, it kinda does.

if you don't want to define friendship using the word loyalty, than don't -- but i do, and i think have someone who's loyal to you is better than having a friend.


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That's fuckin dumb as fuck fuck off

that's just cuz you don't have any friends, man


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I'd expect a friend to tell me when I'm being a fucking idiot and suggest a better course of action.


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Elai
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I'd expect a friend to tell me when I'm being a fucking idiot and suggest a better course of action.

of course, i'd do the same -- but if they continued on that path, that's none of my business


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
And i think a lot of people (here in particular) have never actually felt a real friendship like that... you may share similar interests or backgrounds but you don't have the camaraderie that some of the "bad people" of the world have. When it comes down to it, those people won't be there for you.
I do, luckily. I've had my best friend since 7th grade and we've been through so much shit, lol. It's always amazing when you have someone like that.


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
If a friend of mine cheated on his wife, I'd tell her and hope his life is ruined
Then he's not a true friend.


 
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dracula can eat my whole ass!
And i think a lot of people (here in particular) have never actually felt a real friendship like that... you may share similar interests or backgrounds but you don't have the camaraderie that some of the "bad people" of the world have. When it comes down to it, those people won't be there for you.
I do, luckily. I've had my best friend since 7th grade and we've been through so much shit, lol. It's always amazing when you have someone like that.

i envy that. i only have one like that. even when we fought for a couple of months, he didn't tell anyone anything about the things i've done or said. and for that i realised how good of a friend he actually was to me. and i realised that this is someone i should probably keep around.


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Loyalty doesn't mean just accepting anything they do

yeah, it kinda does.

if you don't want to define friendship using the word loyalty, than don't -- but i do, and i think have someone who's loyal to you is better than having a friend.

So if you met someone who was respectable but then 1O years later turned into a junkie rapist, you would still be loyal to them for some arbitrary honor code?


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Exactly.
Yeah, but what if you just want your friend to know that GMOs aren't inherently evil but he refuses to see the light?

(hypothetical situation)


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That's a yes-man, not a friend.


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Ya fuckin' ganderneck.
I definitely don't define a relationship with a person I consider to be a friend with something as simple as just loyalty.

The entire notion of that just sounds ridiculous to me.


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If a friend of mine cheated on his wife, I'd tell her and hope his life is ruined
Then he's not a true friend.
No, that would make Jim the one who isn't a true friend.


 
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So if you met someone who was respectable but then 1O years later turned into a junkie rapist, you would still be loyal to them for some arbitrary honor code?

really would depend on the level of friendship that was established before the 10 year absence.

but if i considered them a good friend, probably. my good friends are my family and you don't disown family, no matter what.


 
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Friends should be as disloyal as possible, if need be.


 
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That's a yes-man, not a friend.

you have a poor definition of friendship if yours doesn't include loyalty


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"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."
β€”Judge Aaron Satie
β€”β€”Carmen
Exactly.
Yeah, but what if you just want your friend to know that GMOs aren't inherently evil but he refuses to see the light?

(hypothetical situation)
If you're best friends with someone, that's a blood bond that's more important than any values you hold.

That's why I believe you can only have one best friend, and not everyone always even finds that person.


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So if you met someone who was respectable but then 1O years later turned into a junkie rapist, you would still be loyal to them for some arbitrary honor code?

really would depend on the level of friendship that was established before the 10 year absence.

but if i considered them a good friend, probably. my good friends are my family and you don't disown family, no matter what.

Why not

Actions from way back don't define you now
People change
You would be dragging yourself down just for memories


 
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So if you met someone who was respectable but then 1O years later turned into a junkie rapist, you would still be loyal to them for some arbitrary honor code?

really would depend on the level of friendship that was established before the 10 year absence.

but if i considered them a good friend, probably. my good friends are my family and you don't disown family, no matter what.

Why not

Actions from way back don't define you now
People change
You would be dragging yourself down just for memories

because the things you went through together transcend any values you have.

if for nothing else, it's blackmail -- you don't turn against your friends because they have dirty info on you that you don't want released. i don't like to think of that, but it's definitely a part of it.

you don't necessarily even need to continue being active friends with this person if what they do turns you off from them so much.


 
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fuck you
eh


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Heavily disagree. I'll write a good post in a bit I'm at the sandwich shop on mobile


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So if you met someone who was respectable but then 1O years later turned into a junkie rapist, you would still be loyal to them for some arbitrary honor code?

really would depend on the level of friendship that was established before the 10 year absence.

but if i considered them a good friend, probably. my good friends are my family and you don't disown family, no matter what.

Why not

Actions from way back don't define you now
People change
You would be dragging yourself down just for memories

because the things you went through together transcend any values you have.

if for nothing else, it's blackmail -- you don't turn against your friends because they have dirty info on you that you don't want released. i don't like to think of that, but it's definitely a part of it.

you don't necessarily even need to continue being active friends with this person if what they do turns you off from them so much.

But those values are what brought you together and hold you together
If a person strays from everything you loved them for, then what's left keeping you together other than memories