I've been lurking here

 
Naru
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The Rage....
Whatever it is you're dealing with I hope you can find a way to fix or move past it, Gasai.
I will soon, man. Just now is not the time.
I'll definitely go on record and say that I'm not necessarily the best at giving advice, but if you feel like you need to get this stuff off of your chest I'm willing to listen and provide some insight.
It's fine man. You're a cool guy, but I'm fine. I just need to release my flaws I have.

If you don't want to talk about that, then what are your flaws? What do you, think your flaws are? Come on. Shoot.

I'll tell you mine up front and center if you tell me yours. A trade.
Jealousy, dependent, clingy.

I want to better myself, and to prove that I can change. Ugh, the episode of House has the name "Selfish".. See what I mean? I keep seeing these signs.

Jealousy is natural.

Tell you what. I'm jealous. Every time I see two people, friends or something more, it burns me. It hurts. Because I'm alone. And it burns my ass when I try to change shit and it just doesn't change.

How about dependant?

Do you know the reason why I'm here right now? Because I can't fight alone anymore. I can't do it. Try as hard as I might, I can't stand on my own two feet.

How about clingy?

I've gotten overly clingy with a friend. I made a mistake. A big one. And it backfired. Even worse, I made the same mistake again with somebody else. Another friend. And while it didn't backfire, I know that what was said will always push them away from me. The direct opposite of what I wanted.

So, here I am Naru. I'm in your shoes. And you're in mine. How are we going to change it. Don't know yet. But, certainly, not alone.
I made a huge mistake.. The only thing I'm told to do is to wait out and see what can happen. It's been days and soon to be a week, and nothing. I'm scared something will happen and things will drastically change. I made it happen and it's horrible.

If I had to guess. Don't quote me on this. Maybe I'm not reading things right here. Pregnant? Pregnancy, isn't it? Or, you came out. You told somebody. You told somebody what was in your head. Told them what you've kept chained up inside and set that free.

And they flinched when you told them. They backed away. And now you're just waiting right? Waiting for something?
Nothing like that. I did something, it was their last straw. yes, backed away, and I'm told to wait it out. Waiting for something..

Last straw implies doing something to disappoint someone. Friend or family?
Closest friend I have.. Or soon.. "Had"

So you said something or did something. Now, personally, I don't know of any friend of mine that would be dissappointed in me if I said something. And, depending on what I did, they wouldn't be dissappointed either. In the personal context.

You did something big to upset them then. I can think of three things, maybe four, that would do that.

Stealing and using money without permission.

Snapping and lashing out at them, physically, or verbally.

Fucking around with relationships.

If I had to guess, you got upset. Said stuff you didn't mean to.
Things I got annoyed about from the past. Mainly said by jealousy and my idiotic ways.


 
Elegiac
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I keep seeing signs from TV, the radio, and videogames reminding me of what happened, how much I lost, and how much I failed. Maybe I'm over thinking it, but I just can't wrap my head around it.
Imagine having that but with paranoid schizophrenia at the same time. I could read the signs in things like... things that didn't even have a symbolic relation... like a two line advertisement for an egg cup or something. You've gotta knuckle down and tune all that shit out.

Edit: Oh damn. I just assumed this thread was about your lady friend. Sorry.
Last Edit: December 08, 2014, 10:14:46 PM by Elegiac


 
Naru
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The Rage....
I keep seeing signs from TV, the radio, and videogames reminding me of what happened, how much I lost, and how much I failed. Maybe I'm over thinking it, but I just can't wrap my head around it.
Imagine having that but with paranoid schizophrenia at the same time. I could read the signs in things like... things that didn't even have a symbolic relation... like a two line advertisement for an egg cup or something. You've gotta knuckle down and tune all that shit out.

Edit: Oh damn. I just assumed this thread was about your lady friend. Sorry.
That's my problem.. I'm a paranoid person who can over think the simplest things. I don't know, but I am trying to get through this toxic way of thinking.


 
Sandtrap
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Rockets on my X
Whatever it is you're dealing with I hope you can find a way to fix or move past it, Gasai.
I will soon, man. Just now is not the time.
I'll definitely go on record and say that I'm not necessarily the best at giving advice, but if you feel like you need to get this stuff off of your chest I'm willing to listen and provide some insight.
It's fine man. You're a cool guy, but I'm fine. I just need to release my flaws I have.

If you don't want to talk about that, then what are your flaws? What do you, think your flaws are? Come on. Shoot.

I'll tell you mine up front and center if you tell me yours. A trade.
Jealousy, dependent, clingy.

I want to better myself, and to prove that I can change. Ugh, the episode of House has the name "Selfish".. See what I mean? I keep seeing these signs.

Jealousy is natural.

Tell you what. I'm jealous. Every time I see two people, friends or something more, it burns me. It hurts. Because I'm alone. And it burns my ass when I try to change shit and it just doesn't change.

How about dependant?

Do you know the reason why I'm here right now? Because I can't fight alone anymore. I can't do it. Try as hard as I might, I can't stand on my own two feet.

How about clingy?

I've gotten overly clingy with a friend. I made a mistake. A big one. And it backfired. Even worse, I made the same mistake again with somebody else. Another friend. And while it didn't backfire, I know that what was said will always push them away from me. The direct opposite of what I wanted.

So, here I am Naru. I'm in your shoes. And you're in mine. How are we going to change it. Don't know yet. But, certainly, not alone.
I made a huge mistake.. The only thing I'm told to do is to wait out and see what can happen. It's been days and soon to be a week, and nothing. I'm scared something will happen and things will drastically change. I made it happen and it's horrible.

If I had to guess. Don't quote me on this. Maybe I'm not reading things right here. Pregnant? Pregnancy, isn't it? Or, you came out. You told somebody. You told somebody what was in your head. Told them what you've kept chained up inside and set that free.

And they flinched when you told them. They backed away. And now you're just waiting right? Waiting for something?
Nothing like that. I did something, it was their last straw. yes, backed away, and I'm told to wait it out. Waiting for something..

Last straw implies doing something to disappoint someone. Friend or family?
Closest friend I have.. Or soon.. "Had"

So you said something or did something. Now, personally, I don't know of any friend of mine that would be dissappointed in me if I said something. And, depending on what I did, they wouldn't be dissappointed either. In the personal context.

You did something big to upset them then. I can think of three things, maybe four, that would do that.

Stealing and using money without permission.

Snapping and lashing out at them, physically, or verbally.

Fucking around with relationships.

If I had to guess, you got upset. Said stuff you didn't mean to.
Things I got annoyed about from the past. Mainly said by jealousy and my idiotic ways.

You try telling them what you're telling me now?


 
Naru
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The Rage....
I keep seeing signs from TV, the radio, and videogames reminding me of what happened, how much I lost, and how much I failed. Maybe I'm over thinking it, but I just can't wrap my head around it.
Imagine having that but with paranoid schizophrenia at the same time. I could read the signs in things like... things that didn't even have a symbolic relation... like a two line advertisement for an egg cup or something. You've gotta knuckle down and tune all that shit out.

Edit: Oh damn. I just assumed this thread was about your lady friend. Sorry.
Ugh.. It is.. You assumed right.. I was trying to hide it but I can't


 
Naru
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The Rage....
Whatever it is you're dealing with I hope you can find a way to fix or move past it, Gasai.
I will soon, man. Just now is not the time.
I'll definitely go on record and say that I'm not necessarily the best at giving advice, but if you feel like you need to get this stuff off of your chest I'm willing to listen and provide some insight.
It's fine man. You're a cool guy, but I'm fine. I just need to release my flaws I have.

If you don't want to talk about that, then what are your flaws? What do you, think your flaws are? Come on. Shoot.

I'll tell you mine up front and center if you tell me yours. A trade.
Jealousy, dependent, clingy.

I want to better myself, and to prove that I can change. Ugh, the episode of House has the name "Selfish".. See what I mean? I keep seeing these signs.

Jealousy is natural.

Tell you what. I'm jealous. Every time I see two people, friends or something more, it burns me. It hurts. Because I'm alone. And it burns my ass when I try to change shit and it just doesn't change.

How about dependant?

Do you know the reason why I'm here right now? Because I can't fight alone anymore. I can't do it. Try as hard as I might, I can't stand on my own two feet.

How about clingy?

I've gotten overly clingy with a friend. I made a mistake. A big one. And it backfired. Even worse, I made the same mistake again with somebody else. Another friend. And while it didn't backfire, I know that what was said will always push them away from me. The direct opposite of what I wanted.

So, here I am Naru. I'm in your shoes. And you're in mine. How are we going to change it. Don't know yet. But, certainly, not alone.
I made a huge mistake.. The only thing I'm told to do is to wait out and see what can happen. It's been days and soon to be a week, and nothing. I'm scared something will happen and things will drastically change. I made it happen and it's horrible.

If I had to guess. Don't quote me on this. Maybe I'm not reading things right here. Pregnant? Pregnancy, isn't it? Or, you came out. You told somebody. You told somebody what was in your head. Told them what you've kept chained up inside and set that free.

And they flinched when you told them. They backed away. And now you're just waiting right? Waiting for something?
Nothing like that. I did something, it was their last straw. yes, backed away, and I'm told to wait it out. Waiting for something..

Last straw implies doing something to disappoint someone. Friend or family?
Closest friend I have.. Or soon.. "Had"

So you said something or did something. Now, personally, I don't know of any friend of mine that would be dissappointed in me if I said something. And, depending on what I did, they wouldn't be dissappointed either. In the personal context.

You did something big to upset them then. I can think of three things, maybe four, that would do that.

Stealing and using money without permission.

Snapping and lashing out at them, physically, or verbally.

Fucking around with relationships.

If I had to guess, you got upset. Said stuff you didn't mean to.
Things I got annoyed about from the past. Mainly said by jealousy and my idiotic ways.

You try telling them what you're telling me now?
A few times, but no response. So I have to wait to see what happens


 
Elegiac
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I keep seeing signs from TV, the radio, and videogames reminding me of what happened, how much I lost, and how much I failed. Maybe I'm over thinking it, but I just can't wrap my head around it.
Imagine having that but with paranoid schizophrenia at the same time. I could read the signs in things like... things that didn't even have a symbolic relation... like a two line advertisement for an egg cup or something. You've gotta knuckle down and tune all that shit out.

Edit: Oh damn. I just assumed this thread was about your lady friend. Sorry.
That's my problem.. I'm a paranoid person who can over think the simplest things. I don't know, but I am trying to get through this toxic way of thinking.
I'm a reader so I did a lot of reading, but maybe for a gamer, this?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sparx_%28video_game%29

I just read the page and it seems interesting.


 
Naru
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The Rage....
I keep seeing signs from TV, the radio, and videogames reminding me of what happened, how much I lost, and how much I failed. Maybe I'm over thinking it, but I just can't wrap my head around it.
Imagine having that but with paranoid schizophrenia at the same time. I could read the signs in things like... things that didn't even have a symbolic relation... like a two line advertisement for an egg cup or something. You've gotta knuckle down and tune all that shit out.

Edit: Oh damn. I just assumed this thread was about your lady friend. Sorry.
That's my problem.. I'm a paranoid person who can over think the simplest things. I don't know, but I am trying to get through this toxic way of thinking.
I'm a reader so I did a lot of reading, but maybe for a gamer, this?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sparx_%28video_game%29

I just read the page and it seems interesting.
The game is only available to New Zealand citizens...

Huh..


 
Naru
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The Rage....
Sorry to hear Gasai. I wish you the best through this.
And to you, Nuka-chan


Wizard | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Remind me to make a better bio.
Is it ok if I ask what's wrong?

If not, I hope you can get past it man.


 
Naru
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The Rage....
Sorry to hear Gasai. I wish you the best through this.
And to you, Nuka-chan
You have me on Skype. I'm pretty much always willing to talk.
Oh, but you don't reply to my message from days ago. Meanie..


 
Naru
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The Rage....
Is it ok if I ask what's wrong?

If not, I hope you can get past it man.
This one girl I've known for 4+ years, I hit her last nerve with me.


Wizard | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Remind me to make a better bio.
Is it ok if I ask what's wrong?

If not, I hope you can get past it man.
This one girl I've known for 4+ years, I hit her last nerve with me.
Shit man, what'd you do?


 
Elegiac
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I keep seeing signs from TV, the radio, and videogames reminding me of what happened, how much I lost, and how much I failed. Maybe I'm over thinking it, but I just can't wrap my head around it.
Imagine having that but with paranoid schizophrenia at the same time. I could read the signs in things like... things that didn't even have a symbolic relation... like a two line advertisement for an egg cup or something. You've gotta knuckle down and tune all that shit out.

Edit: Oh damn. I just assumed this thread was about your lady friend. Sorry.
That's my problem.. I'm a paranoid person who can over think the simplest things. I don't know, but I am trying to get through this toxic way of thinking.
I'm a reader so I did a lot of reading, but maybe for a gamer, this?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sparx_%28video_game%29

I just read the page and it seems interesting.
The game is only available to New Zealand citizens...

Huh..
Missed that.

Sonovabitch.


 
Naru
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The Rage....
Is it ok if I ask what's wrong?

If not, I hope you can get past it man.
This one girl I've known for 4+ years, I hit her last nerve with me.
Shit man, what'd you do?
Jealousy took over.


Wizard | Heroic Unstoppable!
 
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Remind me to make a better bio.
Is it ok if I ask what's wrong?

If not, I hope you can get past it man.
This one girl I've known for 4+ years, I hit her last nerve with me.
Shit man, what'd you do?
Jealousy took over.
Damn man... I know the feels.
I hope you feel better soon.


 
Sandtrap
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Rockets on my X
Whatever it is you're dealing with I hope you can find a way to fix or move past it, Gasai.
I will soon, man. Just now is not the time.
I'll definitely go on record and say that I'm not necessarily the best at giving advice, but if you feel like you need to get this stuff off of your chest I'm willing to listen and provide some insight.
It's fine man. You're a cool guy, but I'm fine. I just need to release my flaws I have.

If you don't want to talk about that, then what are your flaws? What do you, think your flaws are? Come on. Shoot.

I'll tell you mine up front and center if you tell me yours. A trade.
Jealousy, dependent, clingy.

I want to better myself, and to prove that I can change. Ugh, the episode of House has the name "Selfish".. See what I mean? I keep seeing these signs.

Jealousy is natural.

Tell you what. I'm jealous. Every time I see two people, friends or something more, it burns me. It hurts. Because I'm alone. And it burns my ass when I try to change shit and it just doesn't change.

How about dependant?

Do you know the reason why I'm here right now? Because I can't fight alone anymore. I can't do it. Try as hard as I might, I can't stand on my own two feet.

How about clingy?

I've gotten overly clingy with a friend. I made a mistake. A big one. And it backfired. Even worse, I made the same mistake again with somebody else. Another friend. And while it didn't backfire, I know that what was said will always push them away from me. The direct opposite of what I wanted.

So, here I am Naru. I'm in your shoes. And you're in mine. How are we going to change it. Don't know yet. But, certainly, not alone.
I made a huge mistake.. The only thing I'm told to do is to wait out and see what can happen. It's been days and soon to be a week, and nothing. I'm scared something will happen and things will drastically change. I made it happen and it's horrible.

If I had to guess. Don't quote me on this. Maybe I'm not reading things right here. Pregnant? Pregnancy, isn't it? Or, you came out. You told somebody. You told somebody what was in your head. Told them what you've kept chained up inside and set that free.

And they flinched when you told them. They backed away. And now you're just waiting right? Waiting for something?
Nothing like that. I did something, it was their last straw. yes, backed away, and I'm told to wait it out. Waiting for something..

Last straw implies doing something to disappoint someone. Friend or family?
Closest friend I have.. Or soon.. "Had"

So you said something or did something. Now, personally, I don't know of any friend of mine that would be dissappointed in me if I said something. And, depending on what I did, they wouldn't be dissappointed either. In the personal context.

You did something big to upset them then. I can think of three things, maybe four, that would do that.

Stealing and using money without permission.

Snapping and lashing out at them, physically, or verbally.

Fucking around with relationships.

If I had to guess, you got upset. Said stuff you didn't mean to.
Things I got annoyed about from the past. Mainly said by jealousy and my idiotic ways.

You try telling them what you're telling me now?
A few times, but no response. So I have to wait to see what happens

Then I guess you'll have to wait. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're here now waiting. It'll come when it comes. And it will come eventually. And if it doesn't, then you have your answer. Point is, you and me? We'll sit around and wait together. If you get bad news, then I'm here. Remember that. There's folks here for you when you need them.


 
True Turquoise
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fuck you
Hey, we talked about it. We can talk again if you want....


Anyway, I'm starting to have to take pills for my anxiety. Kinda annoying.


 
Verbatim
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is it wrong that i get solace/comfort from hearing about other people's depression

because i'm depressed
you can't be me
and think the things that i think
believe the things that i believe, and not be depressed

everywhere i go, i feel burdensome
even when i'm with people i know, i feel like they're day would've been better off if i hadn't been there, and i have trouble expressing how much i appreciate the people who tolerate my presence day and day out

i cried for the first time in years tonight
i don't normally cry, because of the stigma associated with it, but that's just how sad i am i guess

but when i see threads like this
and i read what other people are going through
just knowing that there's people who have an idea of what you're going through

it doesn't help anything, it doesn't make anything better
but i feel less alone
Last Edit: December 09, 2014, 02:02:30 AM by Verbatim


 
Verbatim
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a lot of people tell me to take medication

no, i want to be stronger than that
not that taking meds necessarily makes you weak, but
i want to be stronger than that
i am stronger than that
Last Edit: December 09, 2014, 02:02:47 AM by Verbatim


CIS | Legendary Invincible!
 
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is it wrong that i get solace/comfort from hearing about other people's depression

because i'm depressed
you can't be me
and think the things that i think
believe the things that i believe, and not be depressed

everywhere i go, i feel burdensome
even when i'm with people i know, i feel like they're day would've been better off if i hadn't been there, and i have trouble expressing how much i appreciate the people who tolerate my presence day and day out

i cried for the first time in years tonight
i don't normally cry, because of the stigma associated with it, but that's just how sad i am i guess

but when i see threads like this
and i read what other people are going through
just knowing that there's people who have an idea of what you're going through

it doesn't help anything, it doesn't make anything better
but i feel less alone

fix'd


CIS | Legendary Invincible!
 
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a lot of people tell me to take medication

no, i want to be stronger than that
not that taking meds necessarily makes you weak, but
i want to be stronger than that
i am stronger than that

also fix'd


V | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Just message me.
vienquitonm is my discord


☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
☭☭☭☭☭☭  卐   卐  卐 ✡卐  卐  卐  卐   卐

Last Edit: December 09, 2014, 02:52:41 AM by Vien


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Imma gib you dat fish


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You've come to the right place! Welcome where lost destroyed dreams, Nerds/Geeks Anime/Gamers, oldFloodFarts outcast and losers come here to support and Abuse each other!     Haha try and see the humour in that!  It helps to make threads about problems to people you hardly know! I've been through a Fair bit of crap, but now im doing fine. I mite make a whiny thread about not getting girls or whatever, but that's when my finger is up my arse. Pretty tired, but if you're depressed... Start exercising  and doing more constructive work! Art, Sport, theatre, charity work, involve yourself with your community and world.
Last Edit: December 09, 2014, 07:40:36 AM by Twitchyloner


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uhhh...

- korrie
Aw man...

:(


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Imma gib you dat fish
Ayy, you're back.


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Naru
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The Rage....
Hey, we talked about it. We can talk again if you want....


Anyway, I'm starting to have to take pills for my anxiety. Kinda annoying.
It's ok Tru, I failed you, too. I really am a moron


 
Naru
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The Rage....