I've been doing a lot of thinking today Flood. And I realize something I've been missing. Something I'd forgotten, as I'd grown semi comfortable with all these years. My one reason. The sole reason I wake up every morning, and continue to beat my head against this endless wall of troubles, and my own vices that are pulling me along on strings.

This something, this reason, is a person. My better half. My sister. I'd like to tell you her story, because of all the people that deserve to have someone talk about them, and perhaps listen, it's her. Most of all, I'd like to remind myself of why I keep going. Why I wanted to, at least. She never asked for what life handed her. But all the same she got it anyway. So, here we go.

My sister was 10 by the time I was born. And even by then, she'd gone through a hellish childhood. She was born with relatively poor vision, and donned those ancient, thick, goggle like glasses that folks used to wear. Mistakes that the doctor made early on landed her with the wrong kind of glasses, and over the years, it only damaged her eyes further.

And, once, she had crooked teeth. Braces fixed it, but again, at a cost. The braces gave her crippling headaches, which in turn put strain on her optic nerves, damaging her eyes even more.

And, naturally, my sister, being shy, quiet, and wearing goggle glasses and braces, was a target. And she was defenseless. Kids, in their unthinking cruelty, mocked and teased, with no end in sight. And the more vicious ones did more. Threw basketballs and footballs at her. Tripped her, kicked her down, broke her glasses.

Was it any wonder why she never finished school?

By the time I was five, it was just me, her, and my mother. The two of us witnessed my father, one night, after one of many arguments, lash out and break my mother's jaw. This left it's mark on me for years. Nightmares every night, long after my father was gone. I was too young at the time to recognize what was going in with my sister, but she was always there for me. I'd wake up in the night, terrified. And she'd lead me along to the couch, sit me down, and we'd stay up and watch TV all night until we fell asleep.

But, being a dropout, and partially blind, she had no future. And it took it's toll on her. Depression set in, just like it has for me in the past and right now. Self inflicted harm, and when things were the worst, a noose.

The years after this, are one long, bad memory. But despite this, my sister managed to recover. Even grow and overcome things. And through it all she was there for me. And as I grew older, I became her best, and only friend. But, everything ends at some point or another.

In her early 20's, after years of troubles plagued us, my mother's fighting with men and her own issues, my sister took a backpack, and left. She hitchhiked across Canada, two provinces over. And it was there that she found her husband. And, for some time, things were going well. For once in her life, something was looking up.

And then the headaches came. Powerful, crippling headaches. Painful headaches that were so bad that she had to be taken to the hospital, and put on morphine. And the doctors found out what it was. Headaches that were affecting and putting enormous amounts of pressure on her optic nerves. And, they acted. Gave her drugs to treat it. But the doc that gave the drugs gave the wrong kind. And it was only years after that we learned about it.

My sister lost her vision because of it. One eye, completely dead. If you close one fully, and keep one of your eyes open by less than half, that is the effective vision of my sister today. And despite her husband's efforts in court, they lost.

But my sister continued on anyway. She had a baby with her husband. And she lives on a farm, oh so far away from my little town. She hauls firewood, navigates the house and area around it, cooks, cleans, and goes so far beyond what her limited vision allows.

This is my sister. Never once, in my life, have I ever heard her complain about any of it. Never once, has she said anything ill of mind towards what happened. And despite her vision, she keeps going. Raising her daughter alongside her husband, and taking each day as it comes.

Of every person I've ever met in my life, my sister was the only one I could trust, absolutely. Of all the people I've seen, met, and passed by, my sister never once betrayed me, hurt me, or did anything to harm me.

But I did. I failed her. And I work everyday in the hopes that I can make up for it. She is stern and hard when she has to be. But she never said anything to me, other than the fact that she understood, and she forgave me. But all the same, I will make up for my mistakes.

My sister is peaceful, content, caring, and most of all, braver than I could ever hope to be. But she can't do everything by herself. And that's why I still get up in the morning. Because I hope, that in the future, I can give her what life never did.

She never asked for the life that was given, but she took it anyway, and against all odds, she did it. I can only hope that in the future, I can emulate the wonderful person that she is. Most of all, I hope I'm there to hold things up when life will no doubt, come knocking on her door once more with bad news.

Damn, she has extremely will power.

If anything, the both of us seem to have inherited one good thing. Stubborn to the bitter end. Gimme a second here, digging up something.

Dang bro, your sister should win the medal for the Mentally Strongest Person in the World. Hope her life heads down a bright path.

(Her doctors are idiots, imo.)

Damn that's inspiring

I am proud of your sister. You don't see many individuals in this world that are mentally capable to go through the shit she has had to go through.

I don't think I'd be able to survive after going through all of that.

If you see or hear from your sister again, tell her that one of the randoms you talk to online on forums named Decimator Omega, respects her.

She really has earned my respect, you just don't see many people like this out in the world anymore. It's a rarity.

She is special, I'll give her that for sure. When I haul wood in the summer, she's there with me as well. I'm glad that she's done so well. She is, extremely lucky to be where she is today. The number of chances for things to go wrong and so much worse were, and still are many in number. But, we're all still here, at least.

I can only hope what I have doesn't get worse as I get older. Both me, and my sister, inherited some problems. She has her headaches, and her poor vision.

I have the very same headaches, and a weak heart. But we've both stuck things out this far right? I know she wouldn't ever give up on me, and I have to try. If not for myself, then at least I can do it for her.

This story better not have black people in it.

Great read. You need to write a book someday, man.

Heavily inspired man, your sister is incredible

Wow, Sandtrap.. you have really opened up to this forum.

I need to. If I don't talk and just sit here like a lump I'm going to keep falling faster into my depression here. Nobody ever did anything for me and they won't do it now. So, I have to say something, whatever it is.