hang in there, college can be toughI tried to go for the whole college experience and I didn't work out, chemistry is super hardand I'm all right - just working and trying to meet someoneTWD S8 is over and I haven't even finished it, it's been so long since I've watched a show
Deadline for a coursework in MondayDeadline for task to take a job is in Monday. Taking job will consume all my free time.A shittone of homework for next weekDiploma until June thoughNobody visits classesNobody to help meNobody to talk withNo time to update my gaming thread, no time to wasteWhy I'm still here? A big hypocrisy from my side. But other than that it is great.
I'm in between going nuts and being totally oblivious. I just turned in my research paper, so that's off my back. But today I start a week long excursion to Nuremberg and then to Prague, and I'm freaking out because for one, I've made no friends here, so I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do when we have free time, and two I have to share a room with other people, and I've never been able to do that, especially with strangers. And I couldn't find a cheap enough single room, so there went that. I've been inbetween moods of being totally miserable from being alone to being content and thinking i don't need anyone. Uhh I've still convinced myself that I have no future, because I'll have to go back home to take care of my mom, try to learn zbrush, but then might have to get a job, so I don't know how that is going to interfere with trying to learn. Plus I may be moving to Alaska at some point, but not having an estimate is bothering me. Uhhh classes are frustrating because I'm in a class of Californian/Middle Class fuckwits who dont care about learning while I sit bored in class trying to learn as much German as I can. Also not being able to buy an Gundam models to build is eating at me bad. I think that's everything off the top of my head other than the usual overthinking and getting pissed when I start thinking about my past. Part of me wants to get tested for like autism or aspegers or whatever when I get home, but I don't know what good it will do, since it'll be just another thing for my mom to tell me to get over. So yeahOh and even though I only have a month or so left here, I'd still like to meet up with oss, even thought he already blew me of like twice before. I doubt it'll happen tho
I have one more academic year to finish my astronomy major and physics minor. I would've gotten a physics major but the quantum professor said no because she doesn't want me to fail and I don't wanna stay another fucking semester being jewed out thousands for one core class to finish a second bachelors. Plus I hate physics. Might get a research position with faculty about asteroid stuff which seems promising. Technically I graduate this coming fall but I'm starting the extra semester for research experience and maybe a during internship for a newspaper.Also I went bar hopping
Quote from: Casper on April 20, 2018, 02:13:16 AMI'm in between going nuts and being totally oblivious. I just turned in my research paper, so that's off my back. But today I start a week long excursion to Nuremberg and then to Prague, and I'm freaking out because for one, I've made no friends here, so I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do when we have free time, and two I have to share a room with other people, and I've never been able to do that, especially with strangers. And I couldn't find a cheap enough single room, so there went that. I've been inbetween moods of being totally miserable from being alone to being content and thinking i don't need anyone. Uhh I've still convinced myself that I have no future, because I'll have to go back home to take care of my mom, try to learn zbrush, but then might have to get a job, so I don't know how that is going to interfere with trying to learn. Plus I may be moving to Alaska at some point, but not having an estimate is bothering me. Uhhh classes are frustrating because I'm in a class of Californian/Middle Class fuckwits who dont care about learning while I sit bored in class trying to learn as much German as I can. Also not being able to buy an Gundam models to build is eating at me bad. I think that's everything off the top of my head other than the usual overthinking and getting pissed when I start thinking about my past. Part of me wants to get tested for like autism or aspegers or whatever when I get home, but I don't know what good it will do, since it'll be just another thing for my mom to tell me to get over. So yeahOh and even though I only have a month or so left here, I'd still like to meet up with oss, even thought he already blew me of like twice before. I doubt it'll happen thoi dont think the βnot knowing what to do cuz i dont know anybodyβ part is a bad thing. during the summer, i was forced to live on campus for the college experienceβ’ and dorm w/ others, but i ended up always going home instead of living in the dorms. my roommates were cool, but i never bothered to get to know them better outside of classhow come youre tryna learn german? my brother has a gundam model thats been siting there for like a month, hasnt tried to build ithavent seen much of oss around, is he even active still?
Quote from: MarKhan on April 20, 2018, 01:49:23 AMSpoilerDeadline for a coursework in MondayDeadline for task to take a job is in Monday. Taking job will consume all my free time.A shittone of homework for next weekDiploma until June thoughNobody visits classesNobody to help meNobody to talk withNo time to update my gaming thread, no time to wasteWhy I'm still here? A big hypocrisy from my side. But other than that it is great.sounds like a lotta stress
SpoilerDeadline for a coursework in MondayDeadline for task to take a job is in Monday. Taking job will consume all my free time.A shittone of homework for next weekDiploma until June thoughNobody visits classesNobody to help meNobody to talk withNo time to update my gaming thread, no time to wasteWhy I'm still here? A big hypocrisy from my side. But other than that it is great.
do you try to find time to relieve some stress?
Quote from: SecondClass on April 20, 2018, 01:41:13 AMhang in there, college can be toughI tried to go for the whole college experience and I didn't work out, chemistry is super hardand I'm all right - just working and trying to meet someoneTWD S8 is over and I haven't even finished it, it's been so long since I've watched a show yeah, chemistry is a challenge but it feels good when i finally understand itive been super bad about twd, i think i stopped watching it 2 episodes into season 8
I'm alright, but stressed out and overworked. My job comes with a lot of responsibilities and people depending on me. Lots of deadlines and last minute tasks to do. Gotta go back to Greece next month and then London for work as well. Also under a lot of pressure to get my PhD grant and approval done.
Quote from: Dietrich Six on April 20, 2018, 07:55:28 AMQuote from: Flee on April 20, 2018, 07:49:03 AMI'm alright, but stressed out and overworked. My job comes with a lot of responsibilities and people depending on me. Lots of deadlines and last minute tasks to do. Gotta go back to Greece next month and then London for work as well. Also under a lot of pressure to get my PhD grant and approval done.Not to mention being the number 1 quake champions streamer.That too of course, though the Quake stuff is just a lot of fun. The rest not so much. A lot of people expect great things of me and, as much as I want to live up to it all, that's a lot of pressure and so much that can fail.
Quote from: Flee on April 20, 2018, 07:49:03 AMI'm alright, but stressed out and overworked. My job comes with a lot of responsibilities and people depending on me. Lots of deadlines and last minute tasks to do. Gotta go back to Greece next month and then London for work as well. Also under a lot of pressure to get my PhD grant and approval done.Not to mention being the number 1 quake champions streamer.
Quote from: Flee on April 20, 2018, 08:05:27 AMQuote from: Dietrich Six on April 20, 2018, 07:55:28 AMQuote from: Flee on April 20, 2018, 07:49:03 AMI'm alright, but stressed out and overworked. My job comes with a lot of responsibilities and people depending on me. Lots of deadlines and last minute tasks to do. Gotta go back to Greece next month and then London for work as well. Also under a lot of pressure to get my PhD grant and approval done.Not to mention being the number 1 quake champions streamer.That too of course, though the Quake stuff is just a lot of fun. The rest not so much. A lot of people expect great things of me and, as much as I want to live up to it all, that's a lot of pressure and so much that can fail.You got this, use your quake skills to your advantage.
Quote from: Naru on April 20, 2018, 02:57:23 AMI have one more academic year to finish my astronomy major and physics minor. I would've gotten a physics major but the quantum professor said no because she doesn't want me to fail and I don't wanna stay another fucking semester being jewed out thousands for one core class to finish a second bachelors. Plus I hate physics. Might get a research position with faculty about asteroid stuff which seems promising. Technically I graduate this coming fall but I'm starting the extra semester for research experience and maybe a during internship for a newspaper.Also I went bar hoppingastronomy is cool, it was one of the majors i was thinking about before i chose biology. what else would you wanna do w/ thag astronomy major? i have to take physics too, super not looking forward to thatwhat is bar hopping
Quote from: Eli on April 20, 2018, 02:45:02 PMI've had a subpar week. I've become obsessed with abstinence for its social benefits as well as my own pride as I remove addiction from my life (as well as the chemical boost I'd receive to facilitate muscle growth). Unfortunately, this presents a few problems I've had issues dealing with. For example, my anxiety has spiked. I used to be a pretty anxious person to begin with but in the last couple of years I've been meeting my very high personal standards of productivity and the confidence boost did wonders for my stress levels. This last week though has been particularly difficult because, when I'm not otherwise occupied, all I'm thinking about is sex. I spent 4 hours at the gym on Tuesday, most likely because of this (I mean, I also wanted a thorough leg workout.) My sex drive is through the fucking roof, which makes it a lot harder to focus on other things while at home (school, art, talking with friends, etc.) This makes me feel anxious because a) I'm trying to avoid sex and/or masturbation, but I really want to fuckand b) I don't want to fail to meet my own expectations. So I either give in to my desires and feel somewhat relaxed for a time (which can be helpful for falling asleep, which is generally how I used to do it), but have to deal with the fact that I failed to do something I set out to do, OR deal with the side affects of my anxiety, like difficulty falling asleep, difficulty finding motivation (which I've always prided myself on not needing, so imagine how low it must really be here), lowered hunger, etc. Failing to fall asleep and not eating right directly affects my primary focus these days (training), so it's an even bigger problem. For example, Wednesday night which marked the 2 week point for my current absitence period, I could NOT fall asleep. This directly affected my ability to perform at the gym the following morning, where I could not lift anywhere near my previous bests. For anyone who trains, the high you get from visibly getting stronger and pushing higher weight is awesome, but you also know the feeling of defeat at not being able to beat even on par with your previous self. I also got my results for my monthly weigh-in and it should have made me much happier than it did.It could be that I didn't have a great work schedule last weekend (I feel very useless if I'm at work and not working, so when they asked me to train the new kid, I had him do everything I usually do on my shift, and I felt sort of superfluous) or the fact that my trainer has been gone for a week on a trip, and being the highly habitual creature that I am (borderline neurotic), I'm just feeling a little subconsciously frazzled at the weird day-to-day I'm going through. I'm trying to get back to my normal sex drive (release every other day or so, sometimes longer depending on schedule.) Not a bad week relatively speaking, but I'm someone that generally wakes up pretty excited to get his shit done and loves his life, so a 5 or 6/10 week feels like a real bust to me. I was going to make a thread but this worked out perfectly.Why even set this "goal"? What's wrong with having sex and masturbating?
I've had a subpar week. I've become obsessed with abstinence for its social benefits as well as my own pride as I remove addiction from my life (as well as the chemical boost I'd receive to facilitate muscle growth). Unfortunately, this presents a few problems I've had issues dealing with. For example, my anxiety has spiked. I used to be a pretty anxious person to begin with but in the last couple of years I've been meeting my very high personal standards of productivity and the confidence boost did wonders for my stress levels. This last week though has been particularly difficult because, when I'm not otherwise occupied, all I'm thinking about is sex. I spent 4 hours at the gym on Tuesday, most likely because of this (I mean, I also wanted a thorough leg workout.) My sex drive is through the fucking roof, which makes it a lot harder to focus on other things while at home (school, art, talking with friends, etc.) This makes me feel anxious because a) I'm trying to avoid sex and/or masturbation, but I really want to fuckand b) I don't want to fail to meet my own expectations. So I either give in to my desires and feel somewhat relaxed for a time (which can be helpful for falling asleep, which is generally how I used to do it), but have to deal with the fact that I failed to do something I set out to do, OR deal with the side affects of my anxiety, like difficulty falling asleep, difficulty finding motivation (which I've always prided myself on not needing, so imagine how low it must really be here), lowered hunger, etc. Failing to fall asleep and not eating right directly affects my primary focus these days (training), so it's an even bigger problem. For example, Wednesday night which marked the 2 week point for my current absitence period, I could NOT fall asleep. This directly affected my ability to perform at the gym the following morning, where I could not lift anywhere near my previous bests. For anyone who trains, the high you get from visibly getting stronger and pushing higher weight is awesome, but you also know the feeling of defeat at not being able to beat even on par with your previous self. I also got my results for my monthly weigh-in and it should have made me much happier than it did.It could be that I didn't have a great work schedule last weekend (I feel very useless if I'm at work and not working, so when they asked me to train the new kid, I had him do everything I usually do on my shift, and I felt sort of superfluous) or the fact that my trainer has been gone for a week on a trip, and being the highly habitual creature that I am (borderline neurotic), I'm just feeling a little subconsciously frazzled at the weird day-to-day I'm going through. I'm trying to get back to my normal sex drive (release every other day or so, sometimes longer depending on schedule.) Not a bad week relatively speaking, but I'm someone that generally wakes up pretty excited to get his shit done and loves his life, so a 5 or 6/10 week feels like a real bust to me. I was going to make a thread but this worked out perfectly.
Got promoted at work so I'm gonna be making an extra dollar an hour. That means I'll be making $14.75 an hour now.Changed the oil in my car cause it needed to be changed so now she's all good to go until I hit 22k miles. Next purchase is going to have to be tires.Everything else has been going good right now. There's really nothing that is negative going on that's affecting me.