On the way home I almost caused an accident. I was doing a left turn, the green arrow for a left turn didn't appear but I noticed when watching the cars in front of me go, there was like a three second delay between the oncoming traffic stopping and the traffic to our right going which gave one car enough time to make a left turn before the traffic started.

I tried doing the same but there was no three second delay and having already committed I drove right in front of a guy who was already in the middle of the intersection. There was no honking or yelling behind me, but I still know I did a really dick move and put at least three people in danger. I feel fucking awful and I really wish I could slap myself half an hour into the past.

How do I cope with being the fucking douche of the road my parents always warned me about?

i know the fucking feeling
I went from driving 1000 or so miles a month to not touching the wheel for a month
holy shit i can't believe I didn't crash on the way to the clinic

No, I generally try to be in the lane I want to be as quick as possible so I don't have to worry about a situation like that. Like if the exist I need is five miles away I want to be in that lane with the exist way in advance. Also, I've been told to speed up if I want to get into a lane because if I don't I'll get stuck since I seem to never "cut" people off.

Are you one of those people that guns it across 3 lanes on the highway to make an exit that's 150 feet ahead, cutting off everyone behind them in the process?

I can't cope, I have to uncondition myself.

Didnt know you were a woman