Fuck everything.  I hate doing this shit to just have a steady job I know I can do well. It's annoying to say the least to work over the phone technical support and do remote assistance. Especially for a 3rd party company whose sales team probably still is shit and can get sketchy at times.

Edit: Got out of the retail frying pan and into the oven of pain.

Try becoming an IT technician for some other company. Chances are, your experience will be enough.