how do i console this friend of mine

Verbatim · November 20, 2018, 02:41:51 PM

>approaching his late 20s
>hates his job
>got a 4-year degree and moved to the other side of the country to get it; hates it there
>has no friends outside of the internet, can't make any more due to anxiety
>makes more money than he needs for his lifestyle
>lives with his shitty conservative family who drives him up the wall every day
>nowhere else to go
>is overall unhappy
>wants to quit and move back to his home where he has friends
>plans on doing this
>decides to stick it out for another 4 months so he can put 2 full years of experience on his resume
>3 months later
>just suffered through the slowest performing month in his career
>suddenly receive a raise and a bonus for seemingly no reason
>literally can't quit now without it being a spit-in-the-face and instantaneously burning the only bridge he's ever built
>can't whine about this to anyone without seeming like an entitled brat
>seems like he's gonna be trapped in this boring friendless cesspit forever but he makes bank so he's not allowed to complain

what do i even say to this guy

maverick · November 20, 2018, 02:56:54 PM

Honestly seems like this guy is wayyy too concerned with what other people think. Not sure if you’re looking for advice to give him but I would hightail it out of there and come back home.

Verbatim · November 20, 2018, 03:25:01 PM

Quote from: maverick on November 20, 2018, 02:56:54 PM

Honestly seems like this guy is wayyy too concerned with what other people think. Not sure if you’re looking for advice to give him but I would hightail it out of there and come back home.

this is the only job he's ever had, so in his eyes, if he burns the bridge, it's 2 years of experience down the drain and he'll be back at square 1

whatever references he'd have been able to use aren't gonna have anything nice to say about a guy who quits after receiving such a generous gift, and since he's far up into the "making it somewhere in life" meme (which i don't have the heart to disillusion him from), it's not necessarily about caring what people think, it's just a fear of wasting all of his efforts networking by making what could ultimately and honestly be described as an overall selfish decision

challengerX · November 20, 2018, 03:38:12 PM

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November 20, 2018, 04:45:03 PM

convince him to let me move in with him I will change his life

DAS B00T x2 · November 20, 2018, 05:08:28 PM

There's not a problem in this world that five pounds of tannerite can't fix.

challengerX · November 20, 2018, 05:14:36 PM

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Super Irish · November 20, 2018, 07:20:15 PM

Use his more money than needs to rent/buy a deposit on a house somewhere else (Solves the parents problem)

Plan on saving that mad bank he's got if it isn't immediately doable, and if he can't sustain himself alone on his wage then there's a perfect excuse to just leave that says "I leave because I have to, not because I want to" vibe. Might even be an opportunity to get a better raise if they really want him there.

There is no obligation to be loyal to the company (Though America's a bit fucked with the whole capitalism thing, workers rights, etc..., then there's professionalism in general, if the manager's a cunt then there's not much you could do whether he left before or now.).

If he looks for another job right now while still working currently, then he can claim when he leaves that they had better benefits/packages/whatever. Workers can be poached and it's a problem with the company, not the worker if someone else offers a better deal. That's if he really has trouble with just leaving, but it means staying there longer then trying with the first point.

He has no friends at work at all, and they gave him a raise? What does he do? It's hard to console or remedy without a bit more to go on.

Ingy · November 20, 2018, 07:49:04 PM

Seems like the memories of home are holding him back from moving forward in his current situation

Solonoid · November 20, 2018, 09:12:04 PM

give him some tough love and tell him he needs to just do it

lying to him and saying some bull so he'll feel better (which wouldn't work anyway) would only weigh on your own conscience

before you can get out of a rut, you need a sense of direction and the drive to go in that direction

Solonoid · November 20, 2018, 09:13:25 PM

oh and by just do it, I mean that he should do whatever he wants to, not what he feels he has to

Flee · November 21, 2018, 10:21:03 AM

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Jive Turkey · November 21, 2018, 02:15:59 PM

He should find a job back home and move back. He should be qualified enough to get a similar wage. And even if not a similar wage, why does it matter then if he already makes more money than he needs for his lifestyle?

Needs to get himself out of that toxic environment(parents/work that he hates). Literally no point to continue there just for the approval of others (or fear of disapproval). Fears basically the only thing holding him back from all this. But if he doesn’t face it he’ll be miserable anyways so there’s nothing to lose

Mint · November 27, 2018, 06:38:48 PM

Dating apps.