How do I boost my confidence

 
TB
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#13
the problem with working out is that you will never know if a girl likes you for you, or for your body

so i'd find that plan viscerally unappealing no matter what
Does it matter really? I doubt the general populous cares enough to disassociate the two and over time the feelings will blend into a general view of the person anyway. If you require someone to like you for your mind I think you're overthinking how attraction works.


 
Elai
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the problem with working out is that you will never know if a girl likes you for you, or for your body

so i'd find that plan viscerally unappealing no matter what

idk about anyone else, but for me, the gym is less about looking good, and more about feeling good. if you feel good about yourself, it's easier to be confident, and the rest of your life improves from that. i think there's something to be said about liking how you look, but working out even as an "unfit" person empirically makes you feel better because of the workout high. it's just good for you even if you dont have fitness goals of any kind.

unless you're willing to take the argument further... "does she like me for me, or my confidence?" where i think it'd be silly to make the distinction.


 
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the problem with working out is that you will never know if a girl likes you for you, or for your body

so i'd find that plan viscerally unappealing no matter what
Does it matter really? I doubt the general populous cares enough to disassociate the two and over time the feelings will blend into a general view of the person anyway. If you require someone to like you for your mind I think you're overthinking how attraction works.
uh, yeah, it kinda matters a whole fuck of a lot, actually

i think you're underthinking how attraction should work

>be a good yet unfit and therefore unattractive person
>work out
>suddenly attractive
>be the exact same person you were before, but now girls suddenly care about you

you shouldn't want ANYTHING to do with any girl who is that much of a shallow cunt


 
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#13
the problem with working out is that you will never know if a girl likes you for you, or for your body

so i'd find that plan viscerally unappealing no matter what
Does it matter really? I doubt the general populous cares enough to disassociate the two and over time the feelings will blend into a general view of the person anyway. If you require someone to like you for your mind I think you're overthinking how attraction works.
uh, yeah, it kinda matters a whole fuck of a lot, actually

i think you're underthinking how attraction should work

>be a good yet unfit and therefore unattractive person
>work out
>suddenly attractive
>be the exact same person you were before, but now girls suddenly care about you

you shouldn't want ANYTHING to do with a girl who is that much of a shallow cunt
It's already been mentioned before but confidence plays a big role in the whole thing really.

Beyond that I don't think people exclusively like others for one reason or the other really. It's a blend and being physically attractive can lead to more chances to show off your personality. Like you might have the most interesting personality in the world but if you never get a chance to talk to people then it won't do you much good. It's not one or the other, they work in tandem along with the whole added confidence deal.


 
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it's generally pretty easy to tell what a girl is into you for so i don't think it's that big of a deal

someone who likes you for you looks, do you really expect that to last


 
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#13
it's generally pretty easy to tell what a girl is into you for so i don't think it's that big of a deal

someone who likes you for you looks, do you really expect that to last
This too. At some point it'll come to a head and they'll either decide they like you or they're tired of you.


 
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the problem with working out is that you will never know if a girl likes you for you, or for your body

so i'd find that plan viscerally unappealing no matter what
idk about anyone else, but for me, the gym is less about looking good, and more about feeling good. if you feel good about yourself, it's easier to be confident, and the rest of your life improves from that. i think there's something to be said about liking how you look, but working out even as an "unfit" person empirically makes you feel better because of the workout high. it's just good for you even if you dont have fitness goals of any kind.

unless you're willing to take the argument further... "does she like me for me, or my confidence?" where i think it'd be silly to make the distinction.
i kind of get that?

but i'd still recommend avoiding any endorphins attained from activities that are otherwise useless or unproductive

in other words, there's better ways to do it that are less time-consuming and actually give you something of value at the end

unless your job involves lifting heavy shit frequently, being stronger isn't going to do much for you if you're not attracted to dumb shallow bitches


 
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then again this is fucking jono we're talking about


 
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You will find out who you are not a thousand times, before you ever discover who you are. I hope you find peace in yourself and learn to love instead of hate.
working out wont boost your confidence engaging in social activities will.


 
Elai
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the problem with working out is that you will never know if a girl likes you for you, or for your body

so i'd find that plan viscerally unappealing no matter what
idk about anyone else, but for me, the gym is less about looking good, and more about feeling good. if you feel good about yourself, it's easier to be confident, and the rest of your life improves from that. i think there's something to be said about liking how you look, but working out even as an "unfit" person empirically makes you feel better because of the workout high. it's just good for you even if you dont have fitness goals of any kind.

unless you're willing to take the argument further... "does she like me for me, or my confidence?" where i think it'd be silly to make the distinction.
i kind of get that?

but i'd still recommend avoiding any endorphins attained from activities that are otherwise useless or unproductive

in other words, there's better ways to do it that are less time-consuming and actually give you something of value at the end

unless your job involves lifting heavy shit frequently, being stronger isn't going to do much for you if you're not attracted to dumb shallow bitches

the "use" in working out is the improved confidence levels which in turn help you function in society. what other activities would you recommend that are equally as beneficial yet you consider to be worthwhile?


 
Elai
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working out wont boost your confidence engaging in social activities will.

how would you know you dont do either


 
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it's generally pretty easy to tell what a girl is into you for so i don't think it's that big of a deal

someone who likes you for you looks, do you really expect that to last
that's the problem

relationships that begin based off of physical attraction alone are relationships that should never have begun at all

not only is that just a waste of everybody's time, it's incredibly fucking hurtful when it suddenly dawns on you

you're just an object to them, oh cool awesome that makes me feel great


 
Elai
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the gym is a social arena too


 
Elai
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it's generally pretty easy to tell what a girl is into you for so i don't think it's that big of a deal

someone who likes you for you looks, do you really expect that to last
that's the problem

relationships that begin based off of physical attraction alone are relationships that should never have begun at all

not only is that just a waste of everybody's time, it's incredibly fucking hurtful when it suddenly dawns on you

you're just an object to them, oh cool awesome that makes me feel great

i mean any relationship that doesnt last is a giant waste of time in that light. its kind of... unavoidable? people are shitty. i wouldnt blame anyone from not "trying" because of that.


 
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i mean any relationship that doesnt last is a giant waste of time in that light. its kind of... unavoidable? people are shitty. i wouldnt blame anyone from not "trying" because of that.
yeah, and that's precisely why i don't

the point of a relationship is to have it last

if you knew a relationship wouldn't last going into it, would you bother


 
Elai
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i mean any relationship that doesnt last is a giant waste of time in that light. its kind of... unavoidable? people are shitty. i wouldnt blame anyone from not "trying" because of that.
yeah, and that's precisely why i don't

the point of a relationship is to have it last

if you knew a relationship wouldn't last going into it, would you bother

we seem to be on the same page here, so...


 
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the "use" in working out is the improved confidence levels which in turn help you function in society. what other activities would you recommend that are equally as beneficial yet you consider to be worthwhile?
that's gonna vary from person to person, but for me, it's writing and video games

any hobby that you enjoy doing, really

i can't really recommend anything, but working out is among the last things i'd recommend, because i do consider it a colossal waste of time for most people that winds up having inadvertently detrimental effects that most people don't think about when pursuing relationships

because apart from the whole idea that shallow cunts are undesirable, it's also undesirable to assume that a girl would be into you just because you're physically attractive, that's kind of insulting to her, too

it's all fucked up, i don't know why intelligent people bother


 
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the "use" in working out is the improved confidence levels which in turn help you function in society. what other activities would you recommend that are equally as beneficial yet you consider to be worthwhile?
that's gonna vary from person to person, but for me, it's writing and video games

any hobby that you enjoy doing, really

thats all well and good, but none of those provide the objective chemical equivalent to working out, even if you really enjoy them.

Quote
because apart from the whole idea that shallow cunts are undesirable, it's also undesirable to assume that a girl would be into you just because you're physically attractive, that's kind of insulting to her, too

it's all fucked up, i don't know why intelligent people bother

well i know it doesn't necessarily matter to you, but some intelligent people like feeling healthy and well. personally i don't truly care because i think people should be miserable in order to foster efilist notions, but as someone who already has those ideas, i'd like to not feel like waking up everyday is a gigantic burden, y'know?


 
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the best advice i can give is to not feel as though you have to take anyone's advice

if someone here's telling you to do shit a certain way, but you don't feel in your heart that it's the right thing to do, then absolutely don't do it, even if it's been shown to be successful 99% of the time

that's called being fake, and being fake might get you in a relationship, but it's absolutely not going to make you happy, which is ultimately what i think you want in the end

the thing that a lot of people forget to realize is that life isn't a game, and it's not wise to live it like it is one

there's no prima strategy guide for how to get women, and MOST lasting relationships are based on sheer dumb luck and happenstance alone, two people being in the right place and the right time, saying and doing all the right things to each other

so i say just do whatever the hell you want

if that's not good enough for some girl, then she can go fuck herself


 
Elai
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the best advice i can give is to not feel as though you have to take anyone's advice

if someone here's telling you to do shit a certain way, but you don't feel in your heart that it's the right thing to do, then absolutely don't do it, even if it's been shown to be successful 99% of the time

that's called being fake, and being fake might get you in a relationship, but it's absolutely not going to make you happy, which is ultimately what i think you want in the end

the thing that a lot of people forget to realize is that life isn't a game, and it's not wise to live it like it is one

there's no prima strategy guide for how to get women, and MOST lasting relationships are based on sheer dumb luck and happenstance alone, two people being in the right place and the right time, saying and doing all the right things to each other

so i say just do whatever the hell you want

if that's not good enough for some girl, then she can go fuck herself

thats the reasonable verbatim i like to see


 
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thats all well and good, but none of those provide the objective chemical equivalent to working out, even if you really enjoy them.
speaking as someone who spent a lot of time working out a couple years ago, and gained absolutely nothing from it, i do not want an objective chemical equivalent

i want the activity itself to be more worthwhile

you're comparing the faux-happiness achieved from performing an otherwise worthless activity to the genuine happiness achieved from performing activities that i personally consider more valuable

if jono is the type of person who likes feeling confident for no logical reason, i have nothing more to say to him

edit:
have you ever just submitted an incomplete post
Last Edit: February 01, 2018, 06:26:37 PM by Verbatim


 
Elai
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thats all well and good, but none of those provide the objective chemical equivalent to working out, even if you really enjoy them.
speaking as someone who spent a lot of time working out a couple years ago, and gained absolutely nothing from it, i do not want an objective chemical equivalent

i want the activity itself to be more worthwhile

you're comparing the faux-happiness achieved from performing an otherwise worthless activity to the genuine happiness achieved from performing activities that i personally consider more valuable

if jono is the type of person who likes feeling confident for no logical reason, i have nothing more to say to him

edit:
have you ever just submitted an incomplete post

do you consider working out to be worthless if someone was trying to improve their health


 
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do you consider working out to be worthless if someone was trying to improve their health
not worthless, but i would use the word futile instead

in general, if it's not one thing, it's another

there are afflictions associated with lack of fitness, and there are afflictions associated with being fit

you're doomed either way, so it's simply a matter of picking your poison, and whatever poison you pick is none of my business


 
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do you consider working out to be worthless if someone was trying to improve their health
not worthless, but i would use the word futile instead

in general, if it's not one thing, it's another

there are afflictions associated with lack of fitness, and there are afflictions associated with being fit

you're doomed either way, so it's simply a matter of picking your poison, and whatever poison you pick is none of my business

well if the goal is to prolong life, dieting and working out are pretty much the only things you can do


 
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Goodness gracious, great balls of lightning!
On top of all of that and to your point about the first 2 points just being good things to develop in the first place, learning to listen is another great tool for general use. Paraphrasing is a good way to do this.

Asking questions is another great way to get anyone talking. An interesting sort of thing is that people love talking about themselves. So asking questions (without sounding like you're interrogating them of course) is a great way to keep up conversation. "How was work today?" "Oh that's good / bad, that must've felt pretty ________. What did you say to them?" stuff like that.

An advantage to this is that if she starts asking questions about you and stuff you're doing it's a decent indicator she might be interested.

Also just in general listening is a pretty good habit to acquire.
This is some good advice and I've been thinking about asking her these same questions. Small talk is all I really have time for whenever I get the chance to talk to her because we're always busy.

Also some other info about her is that she's beautiful, has nice hips, keeps to herself, and is rather shy. She doesn't seem like a social person because I usually see her walk by herself and talk to 1 or 2 other girls that she works with.

The girl that works in my department who used to work in hers told me that she is single too.


 
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You will find out who you are not a thousand times, before you ever discover who you are. I hope you find peace in yourself and learn to love instead of hate.
working out wont boost your confidence engaging in social activities will.

how would you know you dont do either
i've never experienced child birth and yet i can tell you its painful. 


 
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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I DONT GIVE A SINGLE -blam!- MOTHER -blam!-ER ITS A MOTHER -blam!-ING FORUM, OH WOW, YOU HAVE THE WORD NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, HOW MOTHER -blam!-ING COOL, NOT, YOUR ARE NOTHING TO ME BUT A BRAINWASHED PIECE OF SHIT BLOGGER, PEOPLE ONLY LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE NINJA BELOW YOUR NAME, SO PLEASE PUNCH YOURAELF IN THE FACE AND STAB YOUR EYE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT OF SOCIETY
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Verbatim
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the problem with working out is that you will never know if a girl likes you for you, or for your body

so i'd find that plan viscerally unappealing no matter what
You should be able to spot a girl like that from a mile away.
i should have a million dollars


 
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What the hell? You should always be in shape and ready for anything, you never know what situation you might find yourself in. Personally I think the education system should encourage this and teach you survival skills.
the inability to survive a freak incident where being able to lift 300 pounds would've saved my life is such a remote possibility that i'm willing to sacrifice it for my own personal comfort and trade it for something i actually enjoy doing

and if i got into that situation and i died for being too weak or whatever, i would die knowing that i still made the 100% correct life decision

if you took away all the things that i enjoy doing with my life and replaced them with work, i can guarantee you that i would kill myself by the end of the year

either way, i've seen from experience that most people who lack the drive to grow physically stronger simply will not get any kind of results if they exercise out of necessity rather than having a genuine desire to

therefore, even if i were stupid enough to waste my time at some gym, i'm not going to get anything done, because i don't care and i don't want it
Last Edit: February 02, 2018, 09:56:38 AM by Verbatim