Suddenly, all of my life's problems have been inexplicably solved, all thanks to a group of men who scored an arbitrary number of points in a meaningless culturally significant game of baseball!


I'm personally elated by this, because they haven't won something this big in a very very long time! And since I live vicariously through my favorite baseball team like a vapid and soulless loser, it feels almost as good as accomplishing something meaningful myself! If only I ever had.


Did anyone else see Lebron James in the stands? I was like, oh my gosh! He's just like us! I haven't felt so validated about my miserable existence since the LAST world series, where I saw some OTHER famous people I will never meet on my television!


I think sports are a valuable and smart use of our resources. It's very intelligent to spend years of your life training to become the best in the world at hitting small objects with sticks--only to lose and achieve crippling depression as a consolation prize. I think that's beautiful. Sports are beautiful.


Later this week, I'll be heading off to the polls to vote for my favored presidential candidate. I really don't like Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, but at the same time, voting for anyone else would just be a waste! Nonetheless, I will vote like the hapless little sheep that I am--after all, I am a sports fan!


Come to think of it... Have I ever done anything meaningful with my life?


I guess if I think about it, the world really is a terrible place, and we should probably do something about it--but it's so much more fun to sit back and distract ourselves with pointless, superficial entertainments. Baseball provides a socially-acceptable wank that I can share with many people who are just as stupid as me.


Hey, do you think if we were as enthusiastic about medicine as we are about men hitting balls with bats for three hours, we would've cured cancer by now?


To be honest, I don't even know how baseball works! I don't even know why I root for the team I root for! I just follow the flock for no reason, because it makes me feel good to be a part of something that the public deems important--no matter how artificial and insidiously wasteful it is!


For every winner, there is also a loser. In a bracketed competition like baseball, however, there can only be one champion of the World Series. Everyone else is guaranteed to lose--to fail. I celebrate this insidious, wasteful, and inherently self-destructive behavior--with a smile.


I'm probably gonna forget about this by next week.


But then I'll just move on to the next worthless sporting event!

OP

We should elect Heyward for president

His pep talk saved the game, and it could save the country papa bless

hurr you like something and it makes you happy? well let me make fun of that for no reason other than stroke my gigantic ego durr

hurr you like something and it makes you happy? well let me make fun of that for no reason other than stroke my gigantic ego durr

Yeah, so many people are happy right now!...

except for everyone who's not a cubs fan, oh shit

oh yeah, people lose in baseball and they get really sad and angry over it--even the fans

shit

i almost forgot about that

uhhhhhh whatever YEAH GO CUBS!!!

Quote from: Meow on November 03, 2016, 12:08:46 AM

hurr you like something and it makes you happy? well let me make fun of that for no reason other than stroke my gigantic ego durr

Yeah, so many people are happy right now!...

except for everyone who's not a cubs fan, oh shit

oh yeah, people lose in baseball and they get really sad and angry over it--even the fans

shit

i almost forgot about that

uhhhhhh whatever YEAH GO CUBS!!!

wait, are you making fun that people enjoy a sport or the fact that peeps get mad because their fav team loses and they rage?

 

I'm starting to think OP just jumped on the cubs bandwagon because they won smh

You're an odd man Verb. They things you find joy in... I just don't get it.

I wonder though, does this really make you happy? This thread?

It's okay though Verb, I still love you and all that.

I actually watched the game with my parents, and if there's one good thing I can say about baseball, it's that it seems like a very gentlemanly sport. Unlike football, all the players looked like polite, respectable human beings. They cut their hair and they had good sportsmanship--never really swearing or getting angry or pissed off in the dugouts, at least from what I saw. That made the whole thing a lot easier to sit through because of how refreshing it was.

wait, are you making fun that people enjoy a sport or the fact that peeps get mad because their fav team loses and they rage?

 

The whole gamut.

Poor spectators are the fucking worst, though.

You're an odd man Verb. They things you find joy in... I just don't get it.

I wonder though, does this really make you happy? This thread?

I don't know about happy, but it feels good to release.

The best thing is that it's over now and I don't have to fucking hear about it anymore.

Quote from: Verbatim on November 03, 2016, 12:20:43 AM

Quote from: TBlocks on November 03, 2016, 12:13:52 AM

You're an odd man Verb. They things you find joy in... I just don't get it.

I wonder though, does this really make you happy? This thread?

I don't know about happy, but it feels good to release.

did you orgasm?

Once for every "THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES."