Ah, I can't tell you how great of a day it was, when I went into my school, opened up my locker, grabbed the shit that was mine, and walked out the doors, never to come back.
It was an up and down feeling. Excitement that I had decided to finally end it. And some little bit of worry and disappointment at the same time.
I didn't really know what to do for a few days after that.
I think it's a little bit part of our nature to do that. When things become routine for us, and we're suddenly set free with no chains, we're not sure what to do. That's because your safety is now compromised. That illusion, that comfort of a life that you're used to living that reassures you that you're doing fine, is now gone.
Don't worry. You'll find other routines in due time.