No

no, but two of my cousins are trying to kill themselves.

I don't really mind talking about it. 2 have. One when I was 14 and one was just this past year


(I decided to start using the girls names at some point in this so Jessica=gf Ciannon=best friend)
When I was 14 I was in an abusive relationship, I found it hard to get out of it because I felt like she was the one (lol) and I didn't want to lose her. I also had this friend (who was also a girl) that was trying to help me get away from her. Me and this girl hung out pretty much every day in the summer and while she got me away from my gf at the time, me and her got closer. My gf was getting suspicious so she wouldn't let me text her anymore and she always wanted to see my texts to people. Luckily for me I lived right next to my friend and we would still hang out. She was the person I was with when I first tried weed, and eventually, we had to accept our feelings for each other. One day we were hanging and we had that moment. The one where everything is perfect. And we kissed. I know I shouldn't have because a relationship is a relationship but in a weird way I don't regret it. The next couple days I was trying to break up with Jessica, and even though it took me a bit I did it. That night (while I was with Ciannon) I had to make sure Jessica was ok because she kept threatening suicide. But I ended up calling her mom and asking if she could check on her every half an hour. After Jessica went to bed me and Ciannon did everything we wanted, but we decided not to have sex until we had the right mood. So the next day Ciannon's mom was out and I went to her house. She got everything. Candles, sexy clothing, 10 condoms, she made everything perfect. And we went at it all day and all night, and I still think almost 4 years later it's still been the best sex I've ever had. We were happy together. And though Jessica at this point was trying to win me back, I was not going to go back to her.

So now for the hard part of the story. Ciannon was leaving for San Diego, she spent the last night before she left with me and that morning I kissed her and said goodbye. She was supposed to be there for about a month with her depressed dad. I don't know why people thought that was a good idea. It was ok for a few days. Her dad was sad but she was happy, until around a week in. Her dad had been talking about suicide, and she was drunk and sad. I couldn't text her because I was already asleep and she was taking to this asshole that I thought was her friend. He was talking shit about her because she didn't want to go out with him. So he kept it up and she just stopped talking to him. But she was gone, she was drunk, sad and had just been insulted over and over and I was nowhere around to help. That night she hanged herself. I found out the next day from her mom and things haven't been the same since. Me and Ciannon's mom are very close now and we stay in contact but I don't think there is anything in this world I would give up to see Ciannon again.

The second story is way shorter since we were only good friends long before this happened. So I had this crush on a girl named Mia in 7th grade, and it didn't work out, I got over her but we were really close still after. We were best friends until the start of 8th grade when I started dating Jessica. Me and her just floated away, well in 2014 me and her connected again but only for a night, we caught up and it was nice. A few months later, around November I think, she ended her life. I am not sure about what happened and how it happened but it did. I felt strange, it hurt to hear that and I could barely go to school for a while, I couldn't keep my head straight for a bit, and I was so caught off guard I took a week off. But I have since been better and I hope Mia is better off than how she was on here. I miss both of them very much and i hate the fact that these two amazing people in my life are gone and never coming back. I miss them both. I always will.

I hereby dedicate this thread to BB.

OT: One of my best friends was killed in a drug deal two years ago.
I fell into a spiralling depression, and have only recently come out of it.