haha

November 27, 2016, 01:29:12 AM

got a pint of sam adams but I'm working on three

actually vodka but whatever man ama me anything about the other side

fuck sol btw

Sαndtrap · November 27, 2016, 01:32:35 AM

Watch your kidney's there matey. One of these days ee's gonna wanna walk out on ya.

November 27, 2016, 01:34:38 AM

Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 01:32:35 AM

Watch your kidney's there matey. One of these days ee's gonna wanna walk out on ya.

I can only dream

Sαndtrap · November 27, 2016, 01:36:37 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:34:38 AM

Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 01:32:35 AM
Watch your kidney's there matey. One of these days ee's gonna wanna walk out on ya.
I can only dream

Won't be fun. I've been around the family members who had one of them lobbed off. You're more liekyl to be medically saved than to die.

Ingy · November 27, 2016, 01:40:48 AM

I'm looney tonight

November 27, 2016, 01:41:17 AM

Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:40:48 AM

I'm looney tonight

then talk to me I need someone to talk to

Ingy · November 27, 2016, 01:44:09 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:41:17 AM

Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:40:48 AM
I'm looney tonight
then talk to me I need someone to talk to

I'm perfectly content watching Life of Pi in bed alone with a raging boner thanks

November 27, 2016, 01:45:12 AM

Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:44:09 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:41:17 AM
Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:40:48 AM
I'm looney tonight
then talk to me I need someone to talk to

I'm perfectly content watching Life of Pi in bed alone with a raging boner thanks

k

shocker

November 27, 2016, 01:45:28 AM

just lock this thread then no one will talk to me

Ingy · November 27, 2016, 01:47:06 AM

Fine I'll talk to you

Ingy · November 27, 2016, 01:48:34 AM

Needy bitch

November 27, 2016, 01:48:39 AM

nah I dont want to pressure people into doing things they dont want

its whatever man

Sαndtrap · November 27, 2016, 01:49:13 AM

For the time that I'm around tonight doors are open. I got nothing better to do and nothing else I can do.

November 27, 2016, 01:51:54 AM

Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 01:49:13 AM

For the time that I'm around tonight doors are open. I got nothing better to do and nothing else I can do.

dw about it if you dont want to

but what do you want to talk about I'm desperate and will talk about legit anything

Ingy · November 27, 2016, 01:51:59 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:48:39 AM

nah I dont want to pressure people into doing things they dont want

its whatever man

You're cute so I'll stay for a bit

November 27, 2016, 01:52:48 AM

Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:51:59 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:48:39 AM
nah I dont want to pressure people into doing things they dont want

its whatever man

You're cute so I'll stay for a bit

LOL no
literally ugliest motherfucker on this planet agree with me or you're pitying me

nothing really matters

Sαndtrap · November 27, 2016, 01:55:16 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:51:54 AM

Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 01:49:13 AM
For the time that I'm around tonight doors are open. I got nothing better to do and nothing else I can do.
dw about it if you dont want to

but what do you want to talk about I'm desperate and will talk about legit anything

Dunno if I've got much in my repitoire. First time awake in a few days I think. I'm still playing catch up to see what I missed.

Ingy · November 27, 2016, 01:56:21 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:52:48 AM

Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:51:59 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:48:39 AM
nah I dont want to pressure people into doing things they dont want

its whatever man

You're cute so I'll stay for a bit
LOL no
literally ugliest motherfucker on this planet agree with me or you're pitying me

nothing really matters

I'd keep you around just to look pretty
Or like
Rest my feet on you while reading or something

Sαndtrap · November 27, 2016, 02:03:50 AM

Heyo Class. You're sullen tonight. Let's give things a whirl. What's your game plan for life? Keep on going or hit the off switch someday?

November 27, 2016, 02:04:04 AM

Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 01:55:16 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:51:54 AM
Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 01:49:13 AM
For the time that I'm around tonight doors are open. I got nothing better to do and nothing else I can do.
dw about it if you dont want to

but what do you want to talk about I'm desperate and will talk about legit anything

Dunno if I've got much in my repitoire. First time awake in a few days I think. I'm still playing catch up to see what I missed.

you've been sleeping for days?

Sαndtrap · November 27, 2016, 02:04:53 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 02:04:04 AM

Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 01:55:16 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:51:54 AM
Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 01:49:13 AM
For the time that I'm around tonight doors are open. I got nothing better to do and nothing else I can do.
dw about it if you dont want to

but what do you want to talk about I'm desperate and will talk about legit anything

Dunno if I've got much in my repitoire. First time awake in a few days I think. I'm still playing catch up to see what I missed.
you've been sleeping for days?

Yeah. I go down in patches like that.

November 27, 2016, 02:06:10 AM

Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:56:21 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:52:48 AM
Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:51:59 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:48:39 AM
nah I dont want to pressure people into doing things they dont want

its whatever man

You're cute so I'll stay for a bit
LOL no
literally ugliest motherfucker on this planet agree with me or you're pitying me

nothing really matters

I'd keep you around just to look pretty
Or like
Rest my feet on you while reading or something

I have gender dysphoria why are you nice to me like this ?

I thought you were a transphobe

Ingy · November 27, 2016, 02:09:30 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 02:06:10 AM

Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:56:21 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:52:48 AM
Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:51:59 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:48:39 AM
nah I dont want to pressure people into doing things they dont want

its whatever man

You're cute so I'll stay for a bit
LOL no
literally ugliest motherfucker on this planet agree with me or you're pitying me

nothing really matters

I'd keep you around just to look pretty
Or like
Rest my feet on you while reading or something
I have gender dysphoria why are you nice to me like this ?

I thought you were a transphobe

You do?
Since when?

Wow you're like 2x cuter now

November 27, 2016, 02:16:59 AM

Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 02:04:53 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 02:04:04 AM
Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 01:55:16 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:51:54 AM
Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 01:49:13 AM
For the time that I'm around tonight doors are open. I got nothing better to do and nothing else I can do.
dw about it if you dont want to

but what do you want to talk about I'm desperate and will talk about legit anything

Dunno if I've got much in my repitoire. First time awake in a few days I think. I'm still playing catch up to see what I missed.
you've been sleeping for days?

Yeah. I go down in patches like that.

god I've been kinda distancing myself from you cause I cant even imagine how shitty it is to know youre going to die

I fall asleep every night only by distraction

I think about death and about nonexistence and worry that 'holy shit, I could die tomorrow. I could experience a literal cessation of time, space, and identity on I-75 tomorrow', and only comfort myself with the knowledge that hey, my grandpa is 76, I have another 56 years to worry about this stuff

but I'm not my grandpa, I fuck everything up and am completely corrupted as a person, if someone was going to die at 20 it would definitely be me

but even still, that's a superstition. Your situation is a borderline certainty. I cant imagine KNOWING "I'm going to die soon". Death isn't a release or a stopping, it's a fucking travesty. How can you stop existing? But how can you continue living? It's a lose-lose and it makes me sick. It makes me so depresssed knowing you're going to die soon and you cant change it. You can sit here and give me eight paragraphs on how it's all about perspective or how it's some cosmic eventuality, but that doesn't change the fact that you'll literally experience a total end of consciousness It shouldnt be that way, you should be your own personality and eternally be able to shine. The fact that that personality,those memories and essence, can be wiped away with a car crash is indefensivable. The fact that everyone isnt an antinatalist baffles me

anyway this post is dumb and Im a bad person for making it, whatever

I'm sorry

November 27, 2016, 02:23:31 AM

Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 02:09:30 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 02:06:10 AM
Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:56:21 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:52:48 AM
Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:51:59 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:48:39 AM
nah I dont want to pressure people into doing things they dont want

its whatever man

You're cute so I'll stay for a bit
LOL no
literally ugliest motherfucker on this planet agree with me or you're pitying me

nothing really matters

I'd keep you around just to look pretty
Or like
Rest my feet on you while reading or something
I have gender dysphoria why are you nice to me like this ?

I thought you were a transphobe

You do?
Since when?

Wow you're like 2x cuter now

um what

are you memeing?

I've always wanted to be a girl, legit all I want

how does that make me cuter if you're a transphobe

Sαndtrap · November 27, 2016, 02:39:56 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 02:16:59 AM

Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 02:04:53 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 02:04:04 AM
Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 01:55:16 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:51:54 AM
Quote from: Sαndtrap on November 27, 2016, 01:49:13 AM
For the time that I'm around tonight doors are open. I got nothing better to do and nothing else I can do.
dw about it if you dont want to

but what do you want to talk about I'm desperate and will talk about legit anything

Dunno if I've got much in my repitoire. First time awake in a few days I think. I'm still playing catch up to see what I missed.
you've been sleeping for days?

Yeah. I go down in patches like that.
god I've been kinda distancing myself from you cause I cant even imagine how shitty it is to know youre going to die

I fall asleep every night only by distraction

I think about death and about nonexistence and worry that 'holy shit, I could die tomorrow. I could experience a literal cessation of time, space, and identity on I-75 tomorrow', and only comfort myself with the knowledge that hey, my grandpa is 76, I have another 56 years to worry about this stuff

but I'm not my grandpa, I fuck everything up and am completely corrupted as a person, if someone was going to die at 20 it would definitely be me

but even still, that's a superstition. Your situation is a borderline certainty. I cant imagine KNOWING "I'm going to die soon". Death isn't a release or a stopping, it's a fucking travesty. How can you stop existing? But how can you continue living? It's a lose-lose and it makes me sick. It makes me so depresssed knowing you're going to die soon and you cant change it. You can sit here and give me eight paragraphs on how it's all about perspective or how it's some cosmic eventuality, but that doesn't change the fact that you'll literally experience a total end of consciousness It shouldnt be that way, you should be your own personality and eternally be able to shine. The fact that that personality,those memories and essence, can be wiped away with a car crash is indefensivable. The fact that everyone isnt an antinatalist baffles me

anyway this post is dumb and Im a bad person for making it, whatever

I'm sorry

Well, here's my thought on it. And a of news after I'm finished. People are so sure of their reality around them. So sure of it's stability and it's presence. They don't ever really stop to consider what's out of their senses and beyond their range of experience.

You want an example? Take somebody like Donald Trump. He's got enough money to personally give one million dollars to every single person on the planet. He lives a highly extravagent lifestlye. He's got the access to everything, and the best of everything.

Now take my old life. Put good old trumpy in my shoes for a day. Send him out into the woods to cut down old dead trees to use as fuel for making fires to heat a home. Put him in the passenger seat of an old truck as it drives for 100 miles to pick up water from a spring, and then come home another hundred miles, only to have that water tank last about a week or two before it needs filling again.

To somebody like Trump, my life is completely alien. It'd be almost unthinkable to him. And likewise, the same applies to me. I will likely never know or experience what it's like to live in a place like libiya or the congo, or the scorched places of Africa, Asia, or the east.

And this is all just with concerns to being alive. How about being dead? Well, for starters, the info on being dead is sketchy. Whether it be hoaxes or people that've come back from it describing things. There's nothing real solid. And to me, all that means is that I can't really assume anything. So I won't assume anything concrete. Even total blackness and unawarness.

But to me, the prospect of having a human learn so much over the span of so many years, never truly having an understanding of the world until their 60's or 70's, learning so much, and then dropping dead more or less. It seems wasteful. Back to my point. I don't believe that after we're dead that we just entirely vanish. I think there's something left behind. Is it aware? What happens to it? Who can say. Not me until I get there and see for myself. It's the only way to be certain.

And until that happens, I think it's foolish for anybody to be certain on what happens after they're dead, if anything at all. Look at it this way. I can't really place a certainty on another person's life or lifestyle as I haven't experienced such a thing. So why would I make such an assumption about death?

That's my line of thought. My news for the night is that I've survived for quite some time after the death date the docs gave me. And things are very slowly looking upwards for me right now. It's a bit sketchy and bumpy and uncertain, but I'm still here.

Sαndtrap · November 27, 2016, 03:09:24 AM

I'll tell ya a story before I'm out again. Actually I think it's less of a story and more of a thought I had at one time or another. I can't know what it's really like walking in somebody else's shoes. I know the context might not apply to you in the whole sense, but I'll give it a go.

Suppossedly there's a part of your life that you'd like to change that's more or less unreachable to a degree. You know, I think everybody has that one thing in their life. The one thing that's out of their reach. It probably varies from person to person in magnitude and importance. But all the same, it's still there.

I'll tell you one of mine. The place where I was going to build my home. On a list of countries and environments, and places where I could build my home, the property that I owned could be considered not the best in general. A less than stellar environment that's not hospitable for about 6-8 months of the year, limited resources, and being in what's likely the shittiest province in canada.

I could certainly do better. I could also do worse as well. But, daydream all I want about being somewhere else, it does not change my reality. I am, or was, there. Likely that no matter how much I chose to dislike that environment, it wouldn't go away. And I would not live it willingly unless every last one of my family members was dead.

Point being, life throws some curveballs that you can't catch. It's unfortunate that it happens. But, being the unique form of consciousness that people are, we still have a choice. I could sit around and bitch all day about how that environment back there isn't perfect to my liking or standards.

Or I can get up and move on. If I sit around and scream at it, it won't piss off. But if I get up and try the best that I can within my ability to influence things, then I move on. I shape things to a degree that I can enjoy them. And that curveball that I couldn't catch or dodge will just pass me by instead of knocking me down.

More or less, what I'm trying to say, is that my environment taught me an important lesson. You make the best of what you can with what you have. And you try your best about it. Otherwise, you sit there in a pool of your own misery of your own creation, more or less.

And I understand, you can't wake up everyday with a smile. You can't justify some of the things that happen. I can't justify the deaths of people I've gotten to know over this last year, whether it be kids with conditions worse than mine, or failing older people recieving the last blow they could withstand from a disease in a long life full of hard days.

All of those people, with their limited time left, had a choice. Be miserable. And maybe rightfully so. But not one of them was. They were probably the happiest people I've been around in my entire life. That says something to me. Life can be a pain in the ass. Big time. But you won't know how much you'll miss it until it's being forcefully taken from you, or it leaves you gently and quietly, at an old age. We take it for granted quite often.

Sαndtrap · November 27, 2016, 03:10:38 AM

Anyway, I think that's all I cqan manage. Big walls I know. I'll catch you some other night. Back to sleep, I think.

Ingy · November 27, 2016, 11:25:32 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 02:23:31 AM

Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 02:09:30 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 02:06:10 AM
Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:56:21 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:52:48 AM
Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:51:59 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:48:39 AM
nah I dont want to pressure people into doing things they dont want

its whatever man

You're cute so I'll stay for a bit
LOL no
literally ugliest motherfucker on this planet agree with me or you're pitying me

nothing really matters

I'd keep you around just to look pretty
Or like
Rest my feet on you while reading or something
I have gender dysphoria why are you nice to me like this ?

I thought you were a transphobe

You do?
Since when?

Wow you're like 2x cuter now
um what

are you memeing?

I've always wanted to be a girl, legit all I want

how does that make me cuter if you're a transphobe

That's not gender dysphoria

velox · November 27, 2016, 11:38:10 AM

Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 11:25:32 AM

Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 02:23:31 AM
Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 02:09:30 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 02:06:10 AM
Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:56:21 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:52:48 AM
Quote from: Infinitely Arctic on November 27, 2016, 01:51:59 AM
Quote from: SecondClass on November 27, 2016, 01:48:39 AM
nah I dont want to pressure people into doing things they dont want

its whatever man

You're cute so I'll stay for a bit
LOL no
literally ugliest motherfucker on this planet agree with me or you're pitying me

nothing really matters

I'd keep you around just to look pretty
Or like
Rest my feet on you while reading or something
I have gender dysphoria why are you nice to me like this ?

I thought you were a transphobe

You do?
Since when?

Wow you're like 2x cuter now
um what

are you memeing?

I've always wanted to be a girl, legit all I want

how does that make me cuter if you're a transphobe

That's not gender dysphoria

Not being comfortable with what sex you are is the definition of gender dysphoria isn't it?