>be me
>Armenian college kid living in the Glendale region of LA
>couple months ago
>browse a backwater internet forum
>get routinely made fun of by some guy in europe
>challenge him to 1v1 in Halo 3
>livestream it
>bunch of peers watching us
>
>get absolutely clapped
>delete all footage of event
>leave forum for months

>ff to last week
>return to forum
>it's a struggle to maintain my compsure despite the embarassment
>the challenger messages me
>"hey i'm back in LA, let's meet up for a real 1v1"
>mull it over for a few days
>agree to meet him in a week
>feel like i'm going to throw up

>day of the 1v1 approaches
>i gather my things and head out
>i must be early, no one is here
>suddenly someone speaks from behind me
>"the maulers won't save you this time"
>it was him.  the guy from the forum
>he lifts both fists, ready to fight
>only one thought crosses my mind
>reach into my back pocket and pull out the toy gun i keep in my back pocket
>shoot foam dart at the guy, he instantly implodes in a flash of bright light
>cops immediately called
>get taken in for questioning
>in the interrogation room
>cop looks at me
>"how did you do it, kid"

>look him dead in the eyes and say the sacred words
>"it's Nerf or nothin"