>be britbong

Mordo · March 02, 2015, 01:48:04 PM

>having tea and crumpets with me mum
>start thinking of Muriel from work
>cor blimey I'd like to have a little in, little out wiv her
>"scuse me mum, I-I need to have a go"
>head over to the computation machine
>it's off
>slam it 'ard wiv me fist
>"OI TURN ON I NEED A WANK"
>it turns on
>search for porn
>blocked
>"bollocks"
>run outside and find the nearest red phone booth
>grab the tele and dial the pornography administrator
>"ELLO ELLO 'ER MAJESTY'S PORNOGRAPHY ADMINISTRATOR 'OW MAY I 'ELP YA"
>"Ello I need a wank summin good"
>"Hol' on there son, you need to give me your name and residence first"
>"Name is Anon and I live on Pennywood Cobblestone Lane"
>"Alright then, and what type of porn will ye be wantin today sir"
>"Cuckold miss. Please hurry, my pecker is ready to burst"
>"Alright then one moment please...And you're all set. I have given your household 10 minutes of uninterrupted access to cuckold porn"
>"Thank you miss, God Bless The Queen there right enough"
>Race back home before cuckold porn time runs out
>enter front door
>blood everywhere
>go into kitchen
>mum is dead
>beheaded by Muslims

Oh · March 02, 2015, 01:50:16 PM

I'm fed up of Gatsby and his arab ways, I bet he beheaded that poor chaps mother.

w/e · March 02, 2015, 01:52:29 PM

I'm fed up with Sismeo's way of gay lol

Oh · March 02, 2015, 01:53:33 PM

Quote from: DigitalIzesty on March 02, 2015, 01:52:29 PM

I'm fed up with Sismeo's way of gay lol

death to Sismeo!

More Than Mortal · March 02, 2015, 01:55:03 PM

You aren't British, you Pict fuck.

More Than Mortal · March 02, 2015, 01:56:20 PM

Quote from: Madman Mordo on March 02, 2015, 01:48:04 PM

10/10

great plot twist

Incan · March 02, 2015, 01:57:31 PM

>Be American
>Go to school
>Get shot

True Turquoise · March 02, 2015, 01:58:10 PM

Quote from: Incan on March 02, 2015, 01:57:31 PM

>Be American
>Go to school
>Get shot

Freedom.

The Lord Ruler · March 02, 2015, 02:10:28 PM

Fuckinglol I'm ded

Flee · March 02, 2015, 02:11:14 PM

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Mr. Psychologist · March 02, 2015, 02:24:22 PM

A couple of the best <.<

Onion · March 02, 2015, 02:38:31 PM

It wasn't funny until the ending.

BrenMan 94 · March 02, 2015, 03:16:17 PM

Oi dat be a roit ol' boggle.