>be 17-year-old 400-lb silverback gorilla

Mordo | Mythic Invincible!
 
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emigrate or degenerate. the choice is yours
>hanging out in the shallow water near the big rock looking for a mate
>Stacy-Kong isn't impressed by my lmao12pl8 deadlift, feeling like a sad cunt
>hear a bunch of humans screaming, nothing unusual
>look up and see them gawking at me, figure they're just mirin my juicy gorilla delts
>oh shit everyone is watching I better do something impressive to show off for the gorilla sloots
>start beating my chest and making gorilla noises, but the humans just keep screaming in their unintelligible human babble
>realize that one of their babies has fallen inside the enclosure
>it just sits there staring at me
>figure I'll take it and show it all my favorite trees and rocks while I wait for the humans to come get it and bring it back to its stupid parents
>dragging the man-baby around, having a great time
>Oh shit wait this is perfect! What better way to prove myself a good mate than to show I can be a good father?
>Decide to just stand over the man-baby and protect it until the other humans come get it.
>standing there waiting, look at man-baby, realize that it's not so different than gorilla baby, except weaker and less hairy
>make Harambe have weird feelings of maybe having his own children
>thinking of Stacy-Kong, and how impressed she'll be when she finds out I saved a hu-
>OUCH FUCK WHAT IS THIS WHAT'S HAPPENING
>last thing I see before darkness is the laughing man-baby, and in the background I can see Chad-Kong grinning and picking bugs out of Stacy-Kong's hair


 
Naru
| The Tide Caller
 
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The Rage....
I'm crying


Alpha | Respected Posting Frenzy
 
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443 posts
 
Kek


 
Jono
| Future Nostalgia
 
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Goodness gracious, great balls of lightning!
I wanted to see that gorilla Batista Bomb that little kid


MyNameIsCharlie | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Get of my lawn
I work with a black guy who hit play in the video saying "please don't be black please don't be black" and then he saw and was all "ah man mutha fucka.  Damnit we bring it all on ourselves." And he just walked away


Solonoid | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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So a monkey got mixed up with the apes huh


Batch | Mythic Inconceivable!
 
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Id sue the parents tbh