Give me a good opening sentence to a story i'm trying to write.

The Hån · March 31, 2015, 07:58:49 PM

Okay, here's the premise for the very beginning.

>Saturday afternoon
>Protagonist is a 17 year old(male) emo musician
>Protagonist's name is Altus Feelson
>is getting ready for a date(or about to)
> he is currently at his house
>GF's name is leona
>story is in 1st person pov.
>protagonist met her in the fall(current setting is spring)

Give me a good witty opening sentence(s) for this introduction

The Lord Ruler · March 31, 2015, 07:59:53 PM

"My name is verbatim and this is my story "

R o c k e t · March 31, 2015, 07:59:55 PM

I was only 9 years old, I loved shrek so much.....

R o c k e t · March 31, 2015, 08:00:33 PM

"On a dark and stormy night, I was feeling edgier than usual due to my extreme emo nature".

DAS B00T x2 · March 31, 2015, 08:00:40 PM

It should be easy, just one job: nail that slut I met at the MCR show last Tuesday.

Sigma617 · March 31, 2015, 08:01:01 PM

In Primordial space, Timeless creatures made waves.

The waves were battles and the battles were waves.

rC · March 31, 2015, 08:04:40 PM

"My name is Jim, and I really like my mom."

The Hån · March 31, 2015, 08:05:02 PM

Quote from: DAS | Loli Soul on March 31, 2015, 08:00:40 PM

It should be easy, just one job: nail that slut I met at the MCR show last Tuesday.

As much as LOVE this. It won't fit the story. The Main character has known his gf since the fall and it takes place in the spring.(crucial plot point for the story)

...Although I might use that line somewhere in the story.

Onion · March 31, 2015, 08:05:56 PM

"All these worthless cunts in the world, and I'm about to go on a date with one of them. Susie, that's the cunts name. Met her when I was playing awful music in my shitty band. God, I hate everything".

The Hån · March 31, 2015, 08:09:55 PM

Quote from: Orion on March 31, 2015, 08:05:56 PM

"All these worthless cunts in the world, and I'm about to go on a date with one of them. Susie, that's the cunts name. Met her when I was playing awful music in my shitty band. God, I hate everything".

Rearrange the name and this might be the one i choose.

R o c k e t · March 31, 2015, 08:10:26 PM

Quote from: Orion on March 31, 2015, 08:05:56 PM

"All these worthless cunts in the world, and I'm about to go on a date with one of them. Susie, that's the cunts name. Met her when I was playing awful music in my shitty band. God, I hate everything".

You should probably kill yourself

The Hån · March 31, 2015, 08:10:33 PM

Quote from: Val 'Ketam on March 31, 2015, 08:00:33 PM

"On a dark and stormy night, I was feeling edgier than usual due to my extreme emo nature".

Ok... i really like this one too.

Onion · March 31, 2015, 08:11:34 PM

Quote from: Val 'Ketam on March 31, 2015, 08:10:26 PM

Quote from: Orion on March 31, 2015, 08:05:56 PM
"All these worthless cunts in the world, and I'm about to go on a date with one of them. Susie, that's the cunts name. Met her when I was playing awful music in my shitty band. God, I hate everything".

You should probably kill yourself

That's good material. I hope you're taking notes OP.

AngryBrute · March 31, 2015, 08:12:20 PM

"So many months have passed. So many long, pointless fucking months have passed. And here I am, preparing for a night I thought would never come, for a girl I never thought I could have..."

Jim · March 31, 2015, 08:14:35 PM

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The Hån · March 31, 2015, 08:15:20 PM

Quote from: AngryBrute on March 31, 2015, 08:12:20 PM

"So many months have passed. So many long, pointless fucking months have passed. And here I am, preparing for a night I thought would never come, for a girl I never thought I could have..."

Sweet mother of pearl!! i love this.

this is surely my first choice as of now....

Ushan · March 31, 2015, 08:20:11 PM

Quote from: The Hån on March 31, 2015, 07:58:49 PM

>Protagonist's name is Altus Feelson

Quote

Altus Feelson

Quote

Feelson

Quote

Feels on

"Alright everyone, I'm about to turn your feels on, beause I'm Altus Fucking Feelson."

Spoiler

In all seriousness though, if I can't figure out how to start a story, I'll begin with an expletive and take itoff from there.

Jim · March 31, 2015, 08:22:27 PM

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The Hån · March 31, 2015, 08:37:14 PM

Quote from: Ushan on March 31, 2015, 08:20:11 PM

Quote from: The Hån on March 31, 2015, 07:58:49 PM
>Protagonist's name is Altus Feelson

Quote
Altus Feelson

Quote
Feelson

Quote
Feels on

"Alright everyone, I'm about to turn your feels on, beause I'm Altus Fucking Feelson."

Spoiler
In all seriousness though, if I can't figure out how to start a story, I'll begin with an expletive and take itoff from there.

hahaha. you almost fully dissected it. Altus is latin for "deep"

The Hån · March 31, 2015, 08:38:13 PM

Quote from: Jim on March 31, 2015, 08:22:27 PM

Quote from: The Hån on March 31, 2015, 08:15:20 PM
Quote from: AngryBrute on March 31, 2015, 08:12:20 PM
"So many months have passed. So many long, pointless fucking months have passed. And here I am, preparing for a night I thought would never come, for a girl I never thought I could have..."

Sweet mother of pearl!! i love this.

this is surely my first choice as of now....
Lol gay af

hell naw nig. this shit is banging.

Raw Sugar · March 31, 2015, 08:38:39 PM

I just finished cutting when I saw her out of the corner of my eye. My cheeks flushed with and I stared at her feet while handing her a piece of birthday cake.
"S-so do you like the music?"

"Yeah it's pretty heavy and mind numbing, like all of yesterday's shit is being covered in six feet of dirt." She said with the cutest giggle.

"No way, you're into metal?"

Usually I'm a stuck up dork when it comes to talking to everyone but she was just so approachable. My girl friend is gonna hate her.

Yeah I totally didn't follow your instructions op. If you're gonna be that detailed then you might as well just add some more words and call it a day. Lol.

Jim · March 31, 2015, 08:40:54 PM

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Ushan · March 31, 2015, 08:44:47 PM

Quote from: The Hån on March 31, 2015, 08:37:14 PM

Quote from: Ushan on March 31, 2015, 08:20:11 PM
Quote from: The Hån on March 31, 2015, 07:58:49 PM
>Protagonist's name is Altus Feelson

Quote
Altus Feelson

Quote
Feelson

Quote
Feels on

"Alright everyone, I'm about to turn your feels on, beause I'm Altus Fucking Feelson."

Spoiler
In all seriousness though, if I can't figure out how to start a story, I'll begin with an expletive and take itoff from there.

hahaha. you almost fully dissected it. Altus is latin for "deep"

I know, I figured that's why you made him emo.

Raw Sugar · March 31, 2015, 08:48:36 PM

Quote from: Jim on March 31, 2015, 08:40:54 PM

Quote from: Raw Sugar on March 31, 2015, 08:38:39 PM
I just finished cutting when I saw her out of the corner of my eye. My cheeks flushed with and I stared at her feet while handing her a piece of birthday cake.
"S-so do you like the music?"

"Yeah it's pretty heavy and mind numbing, like all of yesterday's shit is being covered in six feet of dirt." She said with the cutest giggle.

"No way, you're into metal?"

Usually I'm a stuck up dork when it comes to talking to everyone but she was just so approachable. My girl friend is gonna hate her.

Yeah I totally didn't follow your instructions op. If you're gonna be that detailed then you might as well just add some more words and call it a day. Lol.
Emos don't listen to Metal

screamo! I'll change it. Ehhhh fuck it doesn't even matter now.