Gather around, Flood.

Jester · January 27, 2015, 03:41:20 PM

This is a story about my broken relationship between my Mother and I.

When I was five. my stupid prostitute Mother told be how l3git I would be when I turned six. I fed into her bullshit and got excited. She told me that all my Friends from the trailer park we're going to the party. This made me a happy mofo.

But then it happened... On the day of the party we all went to the beach, where everybody told me to dunk my head underwater. I laughed and refused. Then one of the kids tackles me, steps on my back, (at this point I'm underwater) and had his Father hold me down. I passed out from lack of oxygen and had to go to the E.R.

Later that night my Drug addict/Criminal biker/Racist Father thought it would be a great idea if his depressed, weak Son was thrown into a shallow ass lake. I hit my head on a rock and went to the E.R. for a second time. He denied all claims I had against him and said "I didn't know the lake was shallow" (Which was BULLSHIT since he was a fucking commercial fisherman and went to that lake to fish, whenever he beat my Mother and I)

A couple years later and I'm nine years old with a fear of lakes. So for my "surprise" birthday, my now broke ass achoholic Mother brings me to A GODDAMN LAKE. She yells at me like a Banshie and says that she'll "beat my ungrateful ass" if I don't swim. So I try to swim, only to hit a bitch-ass dropoff. I yell and do everything I can to get the fuck out of there while everybody at the beach just stares at me like I'm a fucking comedian. I get back to the beach to find my "Friends" and "Mother" laughing their asses off. I bitchslap my Mother and walked 1/2 a mile to my bitchass exuse for a home.

Also, thanks for letting me inhale all that second-hand smoke for 13 years, Mom! It's not like you gave me severe coughing fits every night!

So this is why I hate my Mother and don't bother making Friends IRL.