There's a girl at my college with a voice like a man, and her surname is Burford.

Her nickname is Big Bad Burf. I nearly died the first time I heard that.

I call everyone a Fuck-Ass

Recently?
Tru

Other ones?
TT and T <.<

In real life?
Flip or something, I didn't pay attention to them 

Well, I've got some nicknames. We often see a lot of traffic with people through my place, and I often come up with various names for certain people who's actual names I have trouble remembering. So let's see if I can remember all the miscellaneous folks that pass on through.

The Durs- A rather large family of hilbilies.

Black Hat Walter- If we were in the 1800s, this guy would be a cowboy. Never goes anywhere without his signature hat.

Tall Swedish Anna- A BIG fucking woman built like a mountain. I'm not talking fat, I'm talking bench pressing cars for fun.

Smoker Vince- A normal guy, except that it sounds like he's been smoking for 80+ years and slid sandpaper down his throat.

Jabba the Hut- A really, really big fucking dude. If you painted him green he'd easily pass for Jabba. He's even got the chins.

Mr. and Mrs. Phlem- Only one of these people sounds bad, and that would be Mr Phlem. Sounds like his throats eternally clogged in mucas and he makes some damn awful sounds with it most of the time.

The Keystoners- A group of kids, early to mid teens, that only ever show up when they're stoned as shit. They always buy out our goodies and ask for a lot of fucking ice cream.

Slow Walter- A dude who's gotten incredibly slow with age. Can't travel very far very fast without his mobility scooter.

The Bible Thumpers- Every so often, a van packed with these folks rolls into town.

Demon Kids- Every so often, three of these little bastards show up, make a mess, make lots of noise, and generally be annoying little bastards. These are the kind of people who will get their shit smacked up when they're older.

Dur Nephew- A distant relative to the Durs.

Retarded Nephew- Another distant relative to the Durs, but manages to go even farther below the line of intelligence then the main family.

Construction dude- Some old guy who comes in at noon like clockwork to order something from us, always wears an orange vest and other construction site gear.

Carrot Cake guy- This is the only thing I've ever seen him eat.

The Northwest  Territories people- People that only show up once or twice in the year that come down from the NWT and proceed to order fucktons of our pies.

Harper Don- A dude who does a lot of paperwork for our current prime minister. I don't know how high up he is on the chain of things, but he does do a lot of government business.



And, for the time being, those are all the folks I can remember. But there's more out there.

Bue bue, or some shit that my brother made up

and once was called Joe Beans by my teacher and friends in elementary school

and some people think I look like Peter Parker, from the original movies

Mine was "Sandspur"
Because I was a MEAN little kid!

But im different now.