I'm not particular about holding a grudge. But I have a simple, black and white law, and it works well.

I'm always easy going with people. But if somebody intentionally steps on me, or hurts me, in full well knowing what they're doing, then I will never trust them again.

I won't attack them. I won't cross the street to avoid them. I won't do anything to hurt them or upset them. But they will always be an acquaintence to me at that point.

This law works because of one simple rule that holds true.

If it can happen once, it can and will happen again. I'm always open, always try to be friendly, and if somebody ever abuses that, then that's it. They mean nothing to me. I'd be out of my fucking mind to ever trust them in full capacity again.

And the more I watch people, the more my little rule of thumb holds true.

QFT

I'm the same way. I always give someone a chance to be trustworthy, but when the line is cross theres no going back to how it used to be(in terms of trust)

I gave up on the concept of forgiveness when I gave up on Christianity.

Maybe I shouldn't say that, because I haven't given up on it completely, but I have multiple people in my life who I have no desire to forgive, and I find there are a lot of people out there not worth forgiving at all, and ideally should not even exist in this world.

Despite this, my true limit to forgiveness is when someone shows absolutely no remorse for their actions. I draw the line there and decide to just get rid of them from my life or dismiss them as unworthy of forgiveness from anybody. Sometimes I question things unrelated to my own personal circumstances, though. I dunno if I can really hate someone like Jefferey Dahmer. Can the guy help what he did? Is he capable of controlling his impulses? I don't know, so I try to reserve absolute judgment of people in extreme cases like that.

But then I also look at people like Whitey Bulger or Stalin or someone like that and I don't see a mentally disturbed individual like Dahmer, I just see parasites who aren't worthy of life, let alone forgiveness.

Pretty much this, although I would add a few points.

I never changed my view on forgiveness because of giving up on Christianity. Kinda why I stopped being a christian is because my views didn't fit it, and I wasn't going to force myself to change my views.

Also, whether or not I can forgive or not, I will always try to move on and not let it distract me. Cut out the drama in my life, and the potential for future drama. But ultimately move on.

Also, I've never been one to wish harm on anyone. Even if I can't forgive them.