Whether or not this is the best place to come for stuff like this, it doesn't hurt to hear different opinions and advice.

I recently separated from my girlfriend after 6 years, and I am having a remarkably hard time dealing with it. I won't go into details as to why, because of the sheer amount of detail that goes into each element of what caused the downfall. I just don't know how to really move on from it. I can't communicate with her anymore, so I can't get closure or really anything. I honestly can't rap my head around moving on after losing the person I literally did everything with for 6 straight years. The person I have talked to literally every single day for 6 years. The only person I have ever been fully transparent with, and the only person in which I stayed genuine in every way imaginable. It was incredibly difficult and taxing to always be transparent, but I felt I owed it to her.

Hell, it has been so many years since I have been this down. I haven't had thoughts of self harm since middle school and early high school, but they came again, and I got uncomfortably close to acting on it on two different occasions over the last 3 days. It's just so much to wrap my head around and I just don't understand how all of this happened.

Was it a bad break up? In my opinion yes, as I have never had a break up which involved cutting all ties in terms of communication. I am just left alone with the thoughts that keep creeping into my mind, and the feeling of being alone.

I hope some of you guys have been in similar situations and can give me some advice. I know I will get some joke answers, but hopefully I do get something with substance because I really do need it.

in time youll feel better. thats all that can be said, really. it doesn't ever go away, you just become better a handling it.

Make sure you don’t spend time alone

Retreating into your own depressed thoughts sounds like a bad thing to do at this point

I’m a rebound-type guy. It’s a band-aid over a canyon type solution but it helps for me

I’m a rebound-type guy. It’s a band-aid over a canyon type solution but it helps for me

Stick it into another hole while you're still hard amirite fam?

Cutting all contact is a good step. Very hard initially, but you are better off that way. That person no longer exists.
Give yourself time to feel sad. Cry if you feel like it and as time goes on, you will be happy again.

Now you've come to know why 2d women are superior to 3dpd. A waifu will never leave you, even if your government bans lewd art of her.

I'm going through a semi situation like that right now. I say semi because I believe that's what its going to lead to.

PM me and I'll do my best to help you.

A legit breakup with someone you’ve invested your entire sense of self with is probably one of the most excruciatingly painful emotional trials you can ever go through. I don’t care what anyone says, a true love breakup is world shattering to the person. And as an already empathetic person, you’re going to feel the severity of it much more than most will understand.

First thing you need to know, is that it will get better. Second thing you need to know, is that nothing I say will be able to ease the pain for you right now. For how long depends up to you. Your identity, sense of self, everything was somewhat to majorly dependent on HER. That’s what happens in relationships like this. Your brain is like legit wired to her brain. You have identical experiences, the habits you’ve formed with her are so strong, those neural pathways so thick, that by breaking up you’re going  to have to basically tear them out, and that’s painful as fuck.

The best thing I did was to in a way reinvent myself. When I went through a horrible suicide provoking breakup, I felt over time that I was sorta shedding away layers of myself as time went on and the pain would come and go. And that I was adding new layers to myself, better improved layers. That surrounded my core identity/values. I completely transformed in a way, improved immensely, and am so much happier and fulfilled now.

That seems impossible to you I know, but you have to keep it in your mind that it will get better. That’s not meant to make you feel better though like I said. You’re acrually probably going to feel like absolute shit for a good while, with occasional glimpses of happiness. It’s almkst like the theme of the world you live in changed, everything’s the same but so different right?  Just pretend like you’re living in a nightmare right now. You’re gonna have to be strong and push through it. Just feel your emotions as they come, don’t try to block them out in any way!!

I recommend filling your life with brand new experiences. New people, new places, new new new. And enjoyable to you. Force yourself to flood your brain with all these new experiences. Read! Reading changes your thought patterns so well. I highly recommend getting into meditation too, it’s changed my life tbh.

Not sure the circumstances but I’m here for you man. Snap me or somethjng if you ever need to talk or just vent to a semi anon person. I have a lot of experience with this

Quote from: BC on March 26, 2018, 10:59:15 PM

A legit breakup with someone you’ve invested your entire sense of self with is probably one of the most excruciatingly painful emotional trials you can ever go through. I don’t care what anyone says, a true love breakup is world shattering to the person. And as an already empathetic person, you’re going to feel the severity of it much more than most will understand.

First thing you need to know, is that it will get better. Second thing you need to know, is that nothing I say will be able to ease the pain for you right now. For how long depends up to you. Your identity, sense of self, everything was somewhat to majorly dependent on HER. That’s what happens in relationships like this. Your brain is like legit wired to her brain. You have identical experiences, the habits you’ve formed with her are so strong, those neural pathways so thick, that by breaking up you’re going  to have to basically tear them out, and that’s painful as fuck.

The best thing I did was to in a way reinvent myself. When I went through a horrible suicide provoking breakup, I felt over time that I was sorta shedding away layers of myself as time went on and the pain would come and go. And that I was adding new layers to myself, better improved layers. That surrounded my core identity/values. I completely transformed in a way, improved immensely, and am so much happier and fulfilled now.

That seems impossible to you I know, but you have to keep it in your mind that it will get better. That’s not meant to make you feel better though like I said. You’re acrually probably going to feel like absolute shit for a good while, with occasional glimpses of happiness. It’s almkst like the theme of the world you live in changed, everything’s the same but so different right?  Just pretend like you’re living in a nightmare right now. You’re gonna have to be strong and push through it. Just feel your emotions as they come, don’t try to block them out in any way!!

I recommend filling your life with brand new experiences. New people, new places, new new new. And enjoyable to you. Force yourself to flood your brain with all these new experiences. Read! Reading changes your thought patterns so well. I highly recommend getting into meditation too, it’s changed my life tbh.

Not sure the circumstances but I’m here for you man. Snap me or somethjng if you ever need to talk or just vent to a semi anon person. I have a lot of experience with this

Thankfully I feel I have made a full recovery, although I am more then aware Ill feel sad at some point in the future. It was just immensely difficult to be with that person and having an incredible day, and then the next its over. That shit blew my mind and I just kept trying to wrap my head around it which just made it more painful and confusing. I would sit there asking myself how did this happened and what did I do to deserve this. Eventually after talking to her and my friends it became clear that I did nothing wrong, and there was really nothing I could have done. She was immensely happy with our relationship, as was I, but then the events of that day occurred and well shit hit the fan faster then I could keep up.

It was a lesson in self worth, because it made me feel worthless. I had done everything in my power for her, everything she needed I provided, whether it was time or money spent I did it. She helped me through a lot of stuff, was by my side through so many thing, and was just at every step a truly remarkable girlfriend. How it happened, and how she acted towards me immediately following just made me feel completely worthless. I was discarded like nothing, and I just couldn't handle that.

The best way I have gotten over it was simply to appreciate the time we had, rather then feeling it was wasted. People expected me to be angry and hate her, which I don't. Shockingly at no point during all of this did I get mad, I was just sad and hurt. Slap to the face of an experience but hey atleast I feel better. Still havent talked to her, but sounds like I'm going to have to at some point.

Unsure if it is smart or not to atleast try and stay friends, feel like it would be awkward especially with what happened.

As shitty as it sounds, I just woke up one day and just didn't give a shit about what happened. Maybe I am in a denial phase, or my brain just was like we can't stay sad about this shit so lets throw it into the back and forget. I still love her to death and would do anything I can to help her. But god damn was it a shit show of a night.

As much as it sucks what happened, I’m glad you’re feeling better man.

I appreciate it, happy to be back to normal

Update, feel like absolute dog shit again.

You guys weren't playing when you said it comes in waves.

I wish I could come in waves